So I had -way- too much time on my hands at work yesterday. Well, it wasn't time, it was more of time to myself. I was doing things, things that only required reptition which allows me to think more deeply.
I was like folding papers and putting them into like 86 envelopes yesterday. So glad we had a sponge so I wouldn't have to make out with 86 envelopes. The the rest of the day I was scanning 86 separate documents at a time. Time consuming, but easy.
Meanwhile, I made up this really sad story in my head. It was like a verison of my favorite movie Moulin Rouge...but it was my life, not some actress/whore. Okay so it wasn't quite Moulin Rouge, but that kind of sadness. I don't know why I thought of it, but as the day went the story grew and I knew I would have to write it down and get it out of my head. Such sad thoughts.
I stayed to work until like 8pm.. yeah, stayed really late doing stupid envelopes and I didn't even put them in the mail. Grr.
I finally came home and got on my compy and just..wrote and wrote... I wrote from like 9:30, 10ish to like 11pm. I couldn't stop. I ended up with like 8 pages (double spaced). As it was getting nearer to 11pm tho it got harder to write mainly because I was crying the whole time.
I was crying about my life and... none of it was true, so there's no reason to cry. I cried b/c it was applicable to me, no one else would understand it because they don't know exactly what I've been through. It was like a comforting cry, a strange peace came with it. I dunno... I'm weird.
So my eyes were like squirting blue tears and my eyes puffed up and my nose already had allergies so I look like a puffy fish with its nose running so I went and took a shower and tried to stop thinking about this ridiculously sad story. Ate some noodle soup and went to bed.
Hey, I'm still writing...
Oh, but it's still kind of morbid stuff..
So glad I didnt try to write that in my journal.
It's written down I don't have to think about it anymore.