Listening to: Dashboard - Places That You've Come to Fear the Most
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!
-From one hell-raiser to another!
I got her a Halloween card for her Bday..
Scratch out the Halloween part and put birthday.
Every birthday needs a change, esp after 48 of them. heh
Oh the ironies...
So the boys fear was:
Wanting something and not being ready for it.
I would like to add to that:
Wanting something and
never letting yourself believe you are ready for it.
I think that would be a bigger fear, to me, at least. Never letting yourself be ready for something you want for the slight fear you might be wrong. It's like a personal damnation.
So for all those of you planning on moving out, sometimes, you just gotta take that flying leap into the black hole. Don't hold yourself back from progression. Even if it's a set back, you learn! I'd rather have many (setbacks) attempts at progression than giving up and staying at home forever. Just my opinion tho.
So...I dont know if he's noticed but... nothing seems to be good enough for him in his daily life now. All the little imperfections of life seem to irritate him more than usual. He just wants change. He wants progressive change. Nothing seems to be good enough for him now b/c they've been the same for so long now. (mainly school since its all he's got really)
Lately, all he's been doing is complaining about every little thing. Feels like he can't do anything right and gets irked when corrected and/or reminded. His classes are dragging and he feels nothing is getting done.
I realized he was breaking up with me when I came to visit and saw his room rearranged. Sad huh? I knew he had prolly rearranged it like a dozen times before he got it to the position I was staring at and I knew it prolly took him all night to get it that way, just to change it the next day.
So I asked him if he had rearranged his room since the break up and he said he had (shock!)and I asked if he was satisfied with it yet. He said no, but he didnt know what to do about it. I couldn't help but chuckle. He'll never be satisfied with his room, how is he gonna be satisfied with a girl? Silly.
I dont know if I should tell the boy.. or how... or just watch and see what happens. I should see if his obsession with perfection is accomplished through things he can't control like school or see if he finally breaks and accepts the imperfections. I don't think the latter will happen.
Curious boy. Funny that its all happening now. And I thought I was limiting myself with my standards of perfection... I, at least, let myself accept some things every once in awhile, even if it means lowering my standards.
Dang the boy! He just had to get me physically attracted to him before letting me go! Just throw all the attractions in there and then ditch me! Die evil monkey of doom! Die! I feel better now...