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Listening to: Hinder - Lips of an Angel
Feeling: spiffy

He called and said,

"When can I pick you up?"

Me: "Huh?"

Him: "Tonight, when can I pick you up?"

Me: "Why? What?"

Him: "It's Valentine's Day I thought I'd pick you up and take you back to my place, cook you dinner and watch a movie."

He didn't even ask.

What am I supposed to say to that?

Uh.....

Listening to Anti-Valentine's Music...

Ozzy Osbornes music videos are ...creepy.

What a shock, I know.

Yay for Ecards!

Snow day! Class canceled pritti much, which means I'm stuck at the school until noon. Should I attempt to go back home? I might not make it -back-.

So many decisions....

I'm at a loss...what do I do?

He just simply ruined my day.

__________________________________________________________

12:00 Midnight

After work I waited for him. I called him, he said he was almost there. I watched him pass the place a couple of times. He finally came back. Took me to his place and we had a ..serious talk. He basically said 'don't be disappointed by him' and I was thinkin' well it's kinda hard not to do that...but I said 'hunny, I'm gonna tell you the truth, whether you like it or not, or how you take it is up to you not me' and he said 'in that case then be easy on me' as in don't give me guilt trips. Sigh.

And again those feelings of being pissed off kinda flared. He's telling me this now?! He's bringing up the solution to the problem NOW, when it happened like two weeks ago!? Hellooo.. I mentioned that to him and he said 'thats what I meant when I said I was being an idiot'. Well, he does realize his immature approach to the problem, thats good.

Then he said something else along the lines of "I know I'm not good enough for you" or something... but yet he's still trying? And I don't want anyone to think that I'm better than them in any way, he has a way of twisting things to ...insult himself. I do it too. He's not good enough for me like I'm not good enough for the guys at my school.

He kept saying over and over again that he missed me. He kept kissing my hand or ...anything that moved really. Halfway thru the ride he was holding my hand like old times. I was like what?! Is everything gonna go back the same as it was..juss because? You think you can just come back and do that? I made it really awkward. Halfway thru the night I told him to stop kissing me (on the cheek and forehead) and it was killing him.

When we walked in the door James like put his arm around me and said to his roommate "my valentine" and his roommate was jealous that James was cheating on him. That kinda puzzled me. 'My Valentine' Whatever. I read an article about the infatuation of love and stuff. It was awesome, the guy uses giant words but still. I laughed so hard cuz it was so truth. I love when people can put the truth on paper. I had so many ...random thoughts while I was there, I had to get out my journal.

I wrote while he cooked steaks and biscuits with salad.

While we ate I just went on and on about work. I don't know why. I felt stupid. While I was eating (cuz he finished before me) I ...well expected him to ..say -something-. I asked him about his work or whatever and he..didn't have much to say. As far as carrying on intelligent conversation with his man...that has been unsuccessful. sigh. He just doesnt have the depth or maturity I need.

As soon as dinner was done he wanted to watch a movie. He asked what movie I wanted and I said 'lovey dovey of course silly' cuz it was Valentines. He said, "well..babe..we don't really own any.." and I said 'I know that's why I brought my own. Moulin Rouge." He was excited, he loves the movie. He told me this once, so I already knew, but of course, he fergot and had to tell me again.

Which brings me to the point that he doesn't really care or anything about me. He doesn't know my birthday, my favorite movie, how many journals I have etc. He wouldn't remember a detail such as my favorite movie to surprise me with it one night like I did. Or remember my birthday if I told him.

I wanted to write some things in my journal first. And he waited impatiently. He got tired of waiting and turned off the lights and dragged me over to the couch. His time, see?

He always just...puts me where he wants me to be on the couch to 'cuddle' and I really like that. When they just move me or throw me around to where they want me.

Anyways, we cuddled and I sang through like the whole movie. I was hyper and I wasn't having a panic attack. whee! I sang thru the whole thing. He kept getting really close to my lips and I turned away so he'd know I didn't want a kiss. He kept kissing on the corner of my mouth. Cheater. He kinda chimed in on the "Virgin" song. Oy. Of all songs. We laughed and joked all day. It was better than the stuck-like-glue we do with not so much teasing. I tickled him.

At the end of the movie I tickled his feet until he like pinned me down. It was fun to annoy him. My head was hurting really bad. To be playful was fun. Vatti called and I didn't want to get it cuz we were on the couch kinda dozing off. Like an hour later finally got up. Vatti called again and gave me specifics on morrows dooms day (wisdom teeth) and then I didn't want to leave his place. hah.

So he picked me up and carried me out the door with no shoes or coat. He locked the door and I had stolen his keys so he thought he was locked out. Then I wanted to drive his Jeep. He wouldn't let me so I pouted after causing him some grief. Then I texted him thank you for the night while sitting next to him. I made him listen to country.

He said he wanted to kiss me on the porch of course and I didn't want to so I made no advances to that action and he like kissed me again on the forehead (after I had told him earlier not to) and said, "You don't have to" like he was going to make me kiss but he was being nice and not? huh? Anyways... the end of that.

All in all it wasn't that bad. It was nice having someone to cuddle with on Vday. Someone to call me beautiful an' all that mushy crap. Cept it woulda been okay if it was just one time or two, not like 5 a day.

Why does the touch of another human have to be so darn desirable?

360 hit(s) Love, me  
Comments
how did it go?
Hey babe, I love you so much. So I saw some big ol' journals with that typical white-Jesus picture on them and I thought of buying one for you. i didn't know if you'd want one, but I associated it with you, and your strength and your beautiful faith.
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