Listening to: Jack's Mannequin - Into the Airwaves
I hate resolutions. It's just another thing to say and not do. Resolution implies improving ones self. I'm not in that business.
New Years Resolution:
1. Limit myself to 4 squares of TP
Ever since I've been exercising I've had energy like the energizer bunny. It doesn't make sense. Aren't I supposed to be exhausted? I have so much energy that I can't sleep anymore. I get the energy after work and then it won't settle down. AND I can't frickin stop eating! I feel like I'm on my period. I'm so hungry, I get cravings, I have the energy to carry out those cravings, I have the energy to do spontaneous things I usually only do when on my period. Weird.
I don't think exercise is good fer me.
The past four nights have been sleepless.
And I'm finally starting to wear down.
Last night was a booty call.
So this morning I got kicked out of bed and had to survive morning traffic to get home. I only messed up completely at Bangerter Highway. My bad. I'm glad I don't have a life. Poor kids going to school.
Then I spent a half hour parked, freezing, sleeping in my car stalking my own house while waiting for Grandma to leave. It woulda been kinda awkward, I'd think. As soon as she left I pulled in and went straight to bed. I kept getting texts, calls, and pic texts which interrupted me and got me -thinking- heaven forbid I don't need that right now. Frustration.
All I remember really from the night and this morning was. 1:09am. 2:35am. 3:00am. 3:00am. 3:01am. 3:09am. 3:45am. 4:00am. 5:00am. 6:15am. 7:00am. 7:30am. 9:30am. 10:35am. 11:05am.
Needless to say I didn't get much sleep. But the majority of it was this morning before work.
Then I went out to the bus stop reluctantly. The first time my body was giving up. Yay, but at the wrong time, of course. Low and behold the bus didn't come. It broke down. So I ended up waiting 45 minutes for the next one.
To make it worse a UTA driver dude was at the stop with me telling me about the bus system as if I didnt know anything about it or been using it for the past two years. He was extremely annoying, for 45 minutes. A know-it-all. Kept giving excuses for the bus being late. Pff. I don't care. He even started off with the whole "you look like yer in HS still" and go thru the job and college routine again. Irking. He's like "I've seen you before, you were with a tall guy" blah blah. I'm like hun, everyone is taller than me and I don't recall ever seeing you. Go away.
And to make matters even WORSE 200 WEst was closed down so we had to take a detour. As if I weren't late already!
I'm tired of taking the blame for other ppls mistakes. Ralph asked if I could help him with some medical records. I said I would when I got back from court. I came back and he jumps on my back and I said lemme put this court stuff away and I'll help you. Meanwhile I get a call of a man who says "We're having a conference here...that Ralph should be at..." So I remind Ralph and off he goes running. He came back in time fer me to leave. He says "You never helped me. You've managed to avoid it."
I'VE managed to avoid it?!?
I dare you to say that again.
I can only help that man if he helps himself. If he puts things off and procratinates and then expects the two of us to pull off such documents in one night .... I can't help him. When he knows it was due today, or even yesterday and blames me for not helping him - thats his problem.
The bus driver said I wasn't close enough to the sign and almost drove past me the other day. I could understand if it was in the dark. It was noon. He was obviously late and was booking it down the street to make up for lost time. Nothing to do with me.
Seriously, grow some balls and admitt yer mistakes.
This black guy on the bus was either drunk or seriously handicapped in some way. He couldn't hear worth crap and repeated everything he said. We had a really brief convo. Later he asked me fer a pen. I told him I didn't have one. I'm sure I did but I didn't want to deal with him right now. He like got all offended cuz of my refusal and gave me the cold shoulder. Just cuz I have a 'purse' doesn't mean I have a pen. Whatev. Thats right, turn around and don't talk to me anymore. It's cuz you a brown man ya know.
I'm tired of this whole public transportation miscommunication crap. Between bus problems lately and the morning traffic I met this morning, it was a reminder why I want to go home.
Anyway, finally made it to work with only 2 extremely annoying convos. Sat dazed and yawning at my compy as it slowly worked. Watched Patsy run around stressed. Wandered over to court to do a load of stuff - got tired of asking questions and going in circles, got hungry and came back. Got a papercut by the mail. Stupid papercuts. I'm investing in that New Skin stuff Grandma has.
So cold all the time.
I've worn my heavy hoody and coat.
ALL day long.
You can't get it off me! Never!
I just want to sleep.
But I don't know if I'm able.
Mindys tonight with the kids. Ugh.
Of all days to lose the energy.
I blame da booty call.
I don't think I'll go to the gym tonight.
I'll be lucky if I catch a bus home sometime tonight.
Better get an early start.
Tonight, if I need any help, I will drug myself.
So help me God.
It's been lovely but I have to scream now.