582
Listening to: The loud ticking of that annoying clock...
Feeling: mixed

A brand new busy day.

Started the day off with waking in the wee morning hours to my mother.

Prolly not the best start.

Went to an interview. Three people crowd in the room with me. Yeah, that's not nerve wracking at all. Stumbled over questions, but not stuttered. Answered honestly. When the lady talked to me I could get my point out correctly. When the male talked to me thas when I stumbled. Did a typing test. Basically had a convo with them as I typed. 74wpm. They seemed impressed. I gave them a 79wpm test with my resume. I asked them questions. They said they'd get back to me this week sometime. Ushered me out and another girl in.

Over all I got good vibes from them. But I also know they are interviewing a lot of others and they prolly got...better vibes. But whatev. I don't really care much what they decide. Cuz even if I got accepted I dont know what the hell I'd decide to do.

Called Dad and said I was coming up to get a ride around USU so I could register again. Went to meet him in the garage and he never came. Called him back to remind him that he was meeting me. Got a ride to Taggart and went to Admissions, filled out application, paid $20 and now it's time to battle the schools to deliver official transcripts. I'm smart I start this 'transferring' in Jan to maybe be in school by Fall. The schools really don't have this down by now. Lookin at the application is said a transfer student pays $40 fee, and returning only $20. I chose to be a returning student. The girl at the desk kinda had to remind me that I had been there before...How sad.

Looked at the job listing in the Taggart and found a legal secretary position on Federal Avenue with a Jon Thomas. Apparently my mother has secret grudges against this man. Looky there, Logan does have a shady side. Got a ride back to my car and off to the next appointment.

The dermatologist. Yeah. Apparently, my mother made me this appointment and explained that I had a 'rash' on my face. She wanted me to go to the doc alone on this quest 'fix my face'.

First of all, I don't see anything wrong with my face. It doesn't bother me that much and ppl still tend to fall in love with it anyway. I don't feel it needs fixing cuz I dont feel theres anything wrong with it! (Like a 'rash') pff!

Second of all, I am not going to the doc alone to talk to him about a 'rash' that I don't think exists let alone needs treatment. So her and the doc are talking about pimples and Rosacea. Pimples? Where? What? Is there something you can see that I can't? And rosacea? I'm 20 years old! freek!

The whole time mother talked to me like I was supposed to know everything wrong with my face and tell the doc an' all that jazz. I'm like "uh.... what?" It was rather frustrating. They gave me all these samples and prescriptions an' junk. I ain't payin fer this!

Then we went to make an appointment and the girl says the day Wednesday and my mom goes fer it and continues to make the appointment and I'm like "uh... Wednesday might not be convenient fer me..." Mother continues "Wednesday at 10 would be fine" So we basically got into a lil' fight there at the desk cuz she wasn't...listening to me. I told her early in the morning so I could have time to get back to SLC. Mothers like "can you get up that early?" What the hell mom?! I'm an adult. I can make appointments and keep them. Stupid $30 co-pay. Wait, why the hell am I paying this?? I didn't make the appointment, I don't think anythings wrong with my face.

We get outside and she says "Ya know you shouldn't fight like that - it makes people feel uncomfortable" and blah blah. Uh, hello?! I'm sorry that I would like to make an appointment that I would be able to make it to.

Needless to say, with all the emotions going on and my period slowly gnawing at me I had a good girly cry in my car before the next appointment. It kinda hurts to know that someone, like yer mother, is willing to make an appointment fer you to 'fix yer face', ya know?

I went to State Farm Insurance and asked them about this paper they've been wanting me to sign for a few weeks. She attempted to explain it to me. I didn't really get it and signed the paper. It seemed like health insurance to go along with the car. Which doesn't really make sense b/c I already have health insurance, why do I need it thru my car insurance? Whatev. It seems like one of those days that ppl tell me things and I'm like "huh?"

Next I ran off to Wally World to get my birth control and to eat some food. I went up and down the stupid valentine candy aisle and they did not have any HUGS, they had all the diff kinds of kisses, but not chocolate hugs. I was so mad. XOXO Hugs and kisses fer V-day, hello?! My cramps are really making this all worse. Pain with hunger with irritability. I went over and snarfed a Subway sandwich while waiting fer my prescription. I even wandered over to the bedding to find something to replace my sheets and vented on my 'face rash' to Natalie on the phone.

Next appointment was the dentist. Which is another one of mothers wonderful appointments. I don't know what it is, but that woman likes to make me pay fer ppl to tell me things that I already know. She didn't schedule an actual....getting-something-done-on-my-teeth-that-I've-been-needing-fer-more-than-a-year-now appointments. No, she gets me a cleaning. I have like four crowns that need to be done. And I get a cleaning instead. I even have a sensitive/hurting tooth right now that might need a root canal, but I'm sitting in this chair getting a cleaning instead. Oy. I'm not paying for this.

She said she got the cleaning so we would know what we need to do to my teeth. I could've told her what we needed to do with my teeth. My file and compy of the DDS could've told her that. But no, we had to find out thru a cleaning. "Hey, you have a broken tooth, you need another crown" Yeah, I coulda told ya that one myself.

And THEN after paying all these co-pays and paying fer all the prescriptions she has the nerve to ask ME what payment plan I want to use to pay fer these 4 crowns. (which includes this stupid cleaning) Which adds up to $1800. I didn't want to start another fight in front this desk so I just asked if I could decide later.

Seriously, it's my teeth. I should prolly pay fer them, yes. But I can make the appointment (to get something actually done) and I can do it on MY time and MY dollar. Whatev.

So I spent $30 on my face-doc co-pay. $25 on the prescription to fix my rosecea face. $20 on birth control. And $12 on prescription toothpaste. With an $1800 bill looming overhead. Seriously, who spends that much on their health?! Am I made of money to fix everything that may or may not be wrong with me? $12 on toothpaste?! Are you kidding?! All that money I spent, and I only care about $20 of that part of my health. My birth control.

Next on the agenda was hunting for any and all attorneys in this valley and handing out resumes. I think I only handed out 6. I don't really remember where I sent them either. One was right next to the place I had my interview this morning. Teehee. And then headed home again fer dinner. Mom and Dad had a meeting with Kyle and the tracker dude while I was in the kitchen cooking Zippi Beef. My fav.

After dinner mother and I headed back out to Logan where I found a glow in the dark solar system fer Braxtons Bday and a package of HUGS in the normal candy section. Whee. I got some Vday cards for everyone at work and Grandma. Got some Vday shopping done now. Yay. Mom went to her class and I went to Natalies. I basically said hi and bye to Natalie. Natalie had this weird idea that I came up on a weekday to get an interview and then play the rest of the day. It's a weekday! I can actually get somewhere, do some things in this town! My life isn't all play at this point in time. A lil' busy trying to make decisions. And spending money on my health apparently. On the phone she's like "You'll call but you wont even come see us?" ...Isn't that why most ppl call another, to substitute being seen in person?... So she kinda nagged so I went over fer an hour er so.

Next on the schedule was making it home around 9pm to watch the recorded American Idol with mum. I watched a clown pick up prostitutes on Cops fer awhile. It made me laugh. Mum, Kyle and I sat and watched American Idol together. Kyle was super annoying with his talking. And Mum joined him. Kyle usually ruins everything... But I got what I could outta the show. Took a shower and used each of my bags, my 'teeth' bag, my 'face' bag and so on.

As far as the neverending question of "what am I doing with my life?" I still don't have a clue. It's like no one has an opinion either. All I get from ppl is "You really want to come back to Logan that bad?..."(taking lower pay than in SLC, which is a given btw) "Career suicide?" "Why go there when you don't have to pay rent or go to school here in SLC?" and the ever famous "You could do so much better in SLC, why come back to Logan?"

This judging is all really annoying. And no, I don't have a logical answer for any of it.

Is money and careers all anyone ever thinks of?

Now my night should come to an end. Been going and going all day long and it doesn't feel that...exhausting. Weird.

All in all.

I got a lot done today.

Wasn't totally annoying.

Wasn't totally painful.

Wasn't totally stressful.

Wasn't totally a waste of time I suppose.

But it wasn't a total joy either.

In conclusion:

My credit card is tired.

Every guy I saw I swear looked freakin' hot today. WARNING to men: Menstruating monster approaching!

And I am now super self conscious about my face like a 15 yr old girl. Is something wrong with my face? Is it worth the money to try and fix it?

392 hit(s) Love, me  
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408 - Poem
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001 - Year 2005
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