Listening to: phantom groans from the corner
I knew he was gone
When I saw that the boards blocking the doorways were gone
We could walk in and out of a room without stepping over a board
Mum took him in yesterday
I can't even...imagine...
What it was like
To say bye...one last time...minutes before...
I can't imagine what Yoda was thinking
He's always scared to go to the vet
I really hope that was the right thing to do
I remember bringing him home
Me and Kirri on our bikes
Carrying the lil' runt home
We had to tag team, cuz he felt heavy
And it was kinda awkward mode of transportation
The man told us not to come back
Mum sat on the yellow icky looking couch
with her knitting stuff
listening to conference I believe
Kirri and I stood behind the couch
And dropped a puppy in her lap
We did the whole "Look what I found. Can I keep him?"
Mum went over to the guys house
Nobody wanted to say bye or anything
And he became ours
We made the lil' closet in the hallway a dog kennel with holes in it. He cried a lot and stuck his nose in the holes
I was still sleeping upstairs and in the morning I'd let him out and we'd sit on the hallway floor and play. He'd sniff me all over, I remember wearing shorts as PJs and he'd get a lil' personal every once in awhile.
I remember trying to name him too.
We all thought he was a boy...
So we had to decide on BJ or ...Yoda.
I guess we were in a Star Wars phase
Turns out Yoda was a girl...oh well.
Yoda was moms.
Always ran away.
Princess/no-named-cat was mine.
If I had a claim on a animal anyway.
In my perspective she was mine.
We all shared her tho mostly.
We all claimed her. Constant battle.
Jumped on the door when she wanted in
Slept with us, on our head
Attacked our head in the early mornings
Michelle was Dustins cat.
Less than 8 years.
Attacked our feet if we moved them in bed
Brought dead mice to our porch regularly
Had 4 kittens, neighborhoods whore
Dallin had the parakeets.
Comrade and Susie.
Pooped on the downstairs windowsill
Almost became Squeakys lunch
Ran from Princess' paws in the cage
I dunno how long they lasted.
Comrade went first tho.
Mindy, she prolly knew Princess/Queen most.
Dad had Brandy/Brownie when we moved in.
I remember that day too.
Ya know that scene in the movie when the kids are chasing that old brown station wagon as it goes down the dusty road, and the mother on the porch crying cuz she knows her children know whats going on
That was us
Brownie in the back/truck of the station wagon. Dad driving away. Mom on the porch. I remember at least me and Dallin were running down the sidewalk from playing at the neighbors.
For years I could swear I saw dogs' spirits in the backyard rise to heaven. Even McKay Farris' wiener dog who got kicked by a horse.
Those eager eyes.
I can't get them out of my head.
I remember the last time he did that lil' dance on the kitchen floor where if you said his name all excited he'd do his lil' growl and go in circles as if he was chasing his tail.
Don't get me wrong.
In general, I disliked that dog muchly.
But..more than a decade with him
And lately watching movies
About people who just discard things/people/animals as if they have no purpose or meaning in life.
Not to mention the fact I'm on my period and extremely emotional about it all.
I was attached.
The last time I laughed at that dog
When Cole walked up behind him real quiet
And gave him a good whack on the bum
You shoulda seen him jump
He jumped and turned around, growled and nipped at that boy
12 yrs and he still has some spunk
I keep hearing that groan
That you hear from the corner
Of the living room
Where he's laying, sleeping
On a pile of blankets or jackets
A phantom groan now
I keep seeing images of him in my head
I know I have a picture, somewhere
With him looking straight up at the camera,
It was right next to the one of Michelle
I go to see if I can find those pictures
And I can't find him anywhere
I can't find him anywhere