Listening to: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
I won't panic.
I stepped on a scale this weekend. And I prolly shouldn't have. But it explained a lot to me.
I went from 115lbs to 128lbs. My BMI is 24.2! And if I get to 25 BMI then I am officially considered overweight! And if I get over 30 BMI then I'm obese! It's good I'm not just 115lbs anymore tho..but still..128 is almost too much!
Dood! I'm fat!!
I can't stay up as late as I used. I definitely can't sleep in as long as I used. I'm only 21!! And sugar doesn't have the same effect on me, it doesn't last all day anymore!
Nobody is ever gonna be able to pick me up anymore!
It explained why I can't really fit in my jeans anymore. I thought it was just cuz I was washing them and they'd shrink a bit. It's like my butt got bigger.
BUT I've decided since I've been going to the gym for 6 months now...that all this weight is just muscle! Mwhaha!
Ya know how...with some pants... you just unbutton them and they fall down. Mine stop at the calves. I literally have to pry them off my calves. And I noticed that I have a harder time crossing my legs with my already overly large thighs, and then I go numb so much faster with the weight of my calves just hanging there.
Frankly, this gaining muscle thing is..irking. Cuz I may have muscle now, but there are no pair of jeans that I will ever fit in now. They're all be tight around the thighs and calves and I'll never get them off. "Toning" a body part doesn't really mean 'getting bigger' does it? I thought it'd just make it firmer and...compact...not big and bulky! I still have my puggy stomach, and as genetics go I will always have that. And I don't think it's doing much for the boob area. My bra doesn't fit me anymore. I can't possibly get smaller boobs could I?!? It is seriously possible to get a bigger butt from exercising??!
So if this is what exercising gets me - I don't wanna exercise anymore!
I feel old and fat! I don't feel stronger! I just know I can't fit in my clothes anymore.
I'm Princess Fiona becoming an Ogre!