Listening to: Tim McGraw - She's My Kind of Rain
Happy Birfday Grandma!!
79! I can't believe it. Almost 80.
And you still go to work everyday, garden in the spring, shovel snow in the winter, mow lawns in the summer, and collect leaves to press in the fall.
Anyone ever call you SuperWoman?
I can't believe I've been with you three years now. Years 07,08, and 09. And I don't want to leave you anytime soon either. Is it wrong to guess how old someone will be when they die? I'm thinking 86. I feel kind of sad I got to know you and attached to you...prolly the last years of your life. Better that then not at all tho, I suppose. Please don't leave me.
Lately, I've been wondering why God has given me what I have recently.
I've got a job now that could support a family, which I don't have, while those that do have families or want to start a family can't afford it cuz they have minium wage jobs or none at all. I've got a job period. While fathers and single mothers are jobless with children and a mortgage.
I have a car that I can afford to make payments on and -own- now. I can give it the maintenance it needs and it's reliable. While there's families out there with unreliable cars trying to get to their jobs to keep the job, can't pay for maintenance on the vehicle, or an unreliable car attempting to get their children to doctors or school, etc. There's families that don't even have cars period and use the bus or walk, harder with children along.
I've got an education. It's not much but it'll get me where I want to go. I paid for it semester by semester, no debt, and I achieved it all by age 20. Meanwhile there's college kids who can't afford to get where they want, those that have no idea what they want and spend years searching, and then there's others that lost their job and are going back for more education.
I have some IRA's up and started and savings accounts open and collecting while there are people that can't get by day by day, month by month to even think about savings or their future.
I have the opportunity to live with my Grandma and get to know her instead of paying rent and investing in something that won't benefit me in the future. While there's married couples living with their parents or inlaws, or college students who flopped and moved back home.
Why did I get all those things? Why do I know what I wanted in life and others dont? Why do I do have financial stability when others dont? Why did I get a career while others got married and had babies? Why do I have an education and others dont? Why do I have a reliable car and others dont?
I certainly don't deserve it. But I am grateful for it. But, I can name -many- other people who deserve this life more than I do. Like Sara Marie's family, they sacrifice so much, they deserve this.
Why am I so prepared? And what for? Is there some trial I'm going to have to face in my future?
I feel ready. Paraniod, but ready.
But I'm not so sure as to what I'm ready for tho....