Listening to: Boys Like Girls - Thunder
Happy Birfday Scott!!
December 11, 2000
I can't believe it's been 9 years.
Being a teenager when you entered my life I vividly remember a lot about you. The feeling like I had a lil' brother, the frustration, the laughing, the birthdays, the pictures, the babysitting, etc. But those being yer first 5 years of life I don't think you remember me much at all. Not that I would be the best thing to remember during those first 5 years, but among other things prolly some of the better memories I hope.
I feel like your memory has been erased of me. In all the chaos and the young years of your life, you have no memory of me. And I'm still left with memories of you, and I can still feel the emotions and feelings I had for you. It's all so real to me, but non-existant to you. Kind of hurts really. It's like in a movie, two people painfully separate... and God mercifully erases the memories of the other person to protect them (we all wish for that sometimes eh?). Meanwhile, the one still with memories of the other person often thinks about them and how they are doing.
I remember when I was babysitting you in the morning, neither of us awake/morning people, and you decided to have marshmellows for breakfast while watching cartoons. The big giant campfire marshmellows. I watched as you shoved a handful into your mouth all at once. I watched as you started to choke. At first we just stared at each other while you choked. Then I slowly reached over and pulled a couple of marshmellows out of your mouth and watched you continue chomping like a cow. We were like a zombies, I dont think you even knew you were eating marshmellows., let alone choking and I didnt register that you were choking for awhile either. Oblivious to the consequences you once again started shoving marshmellows in your mouth. After the third time of choking I stopped helping you and just watched as you paid no real attention to your state of health, as if it was normal. You never learned the easy way.
I also remember the whole potty training part of your life also. You were doing that lil' potty dance and refused to use the big potty so I forced you in the bathroom and you still refused to go. Frustration. You needed help getting your underwear back on. In my frustration I just yoinked your undies up and was going to pull the pants up when you looked at me and your eyes pooled up with tears and all you had to say was "ow". I guess I must've pulled too hard. It was so sad those puppy dog teary eyes and a timid "ow" from this lil' boy who just got his wee wee hurt for the first time by his own Aunt. So sad, but I couldn't help but laugh!
Just a few of the memories I have growing up with you, prolly ones I've recanted a few times already. But hey you were apart of my life and that's not just going away. I guess it's good the way things are now. You with your father living a semi-normal life with the rest of us in our prospective roles of Grandparents, Parents and Aunts and Uncles. Not that you dont already know this but I think you should remember that Grandpa was devoted to you from day one. In fact, I think if he had a choice he'd dump me for you in a jiffy. That man has some strong feelings for you kid and you'll always be in his heart and he'll always come looking for you.
Hey kid, don't forget about me. I'm still here for ya and I want you to know that I love ya.