Listening to: Blink182 - All The Small Things
Random tangents that happen outside of the scaring ppl world:
Soooo I saved up $4000 for a present for my dad to send him back to Brimingham England for a visit. Its costs a frickin lot to send him and a few choice others back to his mission and it took me... I guess only a year to gather that money (since I've worked with Jim), but I dont know whether to keep saving money cuz he'll need more to go fly across the ocean or if I should tell him he has the money (NOT actually give it to him) and continue to save money until he actually does some action to go on a vacation (which I will have to initiate cuz it'll take him 5 years to agree to go), and he just became bishop, will he even go?
So thats the dillema I've had for a few years actually. I've been thinkin about this Europe trip since 2008. I just couldn't save the money up til this last year. I want him to go to England and I want to go with him. BUT he has sooo many other things he could use $4000 for. But I don't generally....wish to help him in those areas (financial life) cuz thas just dangerous terrirtory when it comes to my parentals and monies.
So it turns out that Dad wants a new truck. He is planning on getting a $10,000 loan just to purchase the truck next door. Meanwhile he just went to the dentist in dire pain and learned he needs a bridge because he didnt take care of it a few years ago when the dentist predicted his future. -_- Do you know how much bridges cost? A lot more than crowns and root canals!! And crowns are already $1,000 or more a piece. I dont understand why that man has teeth. But the kicker is that he refuses to use his car loan to help pay for his teeth. In fact, he wishes to use a credit card with a super high interest rate from a company that has backstabbed them before for which Mother dislikes them most completely to pay for his teeth. -_- This all makes me mad for many reasons 1) If he would take care of himself he wouldn't be in this situation and faced with all this debt and 2) his priorities are all screwed up! 3) do you know how many credit cards/debts he has already?!
Gar. So mad. They are already drowning and I swear they just make up things to help them drown faster and then ....then they get something UNEXPECTED to help them drown faster than they had planned. Oy. And who do they reach out to when they drown? Yeah, thats right, the one with the money. There's a reason I kicked them off all my accounts cept one. Mom already borrowed $400 like a down payment to help even start the process of the bridge. The dentist says "nuh uh I need money up front or this aint happenin" which is totally understandable besides the medical attention my Dad needs immediately, but still....
Mom and Dad kind of have separate accounts really, but when one drowns in a red hole the other gets dragged into it also and somehow, by some miracle, they try to help each other out I suppose. I borrowed $3,000 for a car loan and I paid it all back and Mom used that to pay for the roof and now she has a credit card she's paying off for the windows. Dad apparently is getting into $10,000+ debt for a truck and teeth. And they of course have the house debt. Who knows what else they have to pay on.
I believe I have the right to be mad (dallin doesnt) because of the example or lack thereof that my parents are to me. I'm not mad necessarily that they borrow my money when they're in trouble although it is annoying at times. I'm more mad that they won't take care of themselves let alone each other, let alone their financial situation. I don't want to have to write up foreclosure documents for them one day! I'm mad that they preach to me the whole debt issue, the whole "pay in cash" and "save for toys" and "do NOT get more than like 1 credit card", yadda yadda and then Dad goes to spend $10,000 on a truck while Mom claims the windows and roof are very important to replace WHILE she's redoing the kitchen (well the roof was kinda important)... Ever heard of one thing at a time?
I'm glad hypocrisy doesn't fall onto the first 5 in my list of pet peeves or I might strangle them. Suffering the consequences of others decisions is No. 1 and this doesn't effect me too much cuz they try so hard not to let it effect us kids which I am thankful for. I mean I dont bother them with my financial situations. I'm not drowning myself in debt while others watch in emotional pain. I dont have a reputation of handling money badly. I can work with others to help myself out. I can refrain b/c thats what I was taught to do. I'm glad they have great standards and great teachers, but its okay to start living them now.
Anywayz, I spoke to Dallin about my dillema cuz he knows I want to send Dad to England and he's bluntly told me that Dad needs other things right now in life instead of a vacation. Now lets ask a question... WHY does he have other things he NEEDS right now in life? Cuz he doesn't take care of himself first of all with the teeth deal! And thats NOT my fault. I don't want to help him pay for something he should've done years ago before it got that bad.
But then I started thinking about him wanting to get a truck and well, that might be legit. I did take the Blazer to WY and kinda...damage it even more than what Dustin did to it.. and they did spend a lot of money in fixing it up... And I did use HIS retirement money $3,000 for my car (although I did pay it back and it went into Mothers hands...) not sure how that works out as "I owe him" in my head cuz he has a roof over his head still... but... I dunno.
Dallins all over there defending the man with "hes a good man". Great defense. A great man can also have a lot of unnecessary debt. I love the man too but that doesnt mean I have to use my $4000 to help him out. I dont have to tell anyone this money exists. Dallin doesnt even know how much I have. I can keep this for another 2 years and then present it to Dad as vacation money after he's got all this money mess figgered out if I want. I dont know what to do. I can prolly start saving again for ...many more years down the road. I dunno. I just wanted this to be a present, a vacation, a blast from the past, a bucket list item off the list before he dies or gets cancer cuz he won't go to the doctor. I didnt want this to be "save" button in his life or a "debt contribution" or something... Silly me and my expectations. I think he deserves to go back and I want to go with him. I want out of this country once in my life too! And it wont happen once I get married or have kids. I gotta do it in the near future ya know? Not just for me but for him too. We aint getting any younger!
Dallin suggested that I offer to help him with one or the other to at least reduce the debt Dad is planning on. I didn't think that would happen cuz $10,000 is 10,000 and a lot of money. But Dallin said Dad would be practical, realistic, and conservative or whatever. So I think I'll offer to find him a cheaper truck ($4000) free and clear of any debt IF he finds a better way to take care of his dentist bill than using a credit card or a $10,000 loan. I guess I could buy him a truck. If he'll actually go for it and WANT a cheaper truck. He sounds pritti set on wanting/getting the truck next door. But me and Claine could find him a nice truck for $4,000.
Another dillema is ...when do I tell him/make the offer/give him money? He's starting to drown in money now and his bday is in a month (still stuck on the whole gift thing) and well... I'm going home this weekend to celebrate Moms bday... a lil' awkward even tho it should help them both out. I feel weird. Sitting at Sunday dinner after having bday cake with Mom and then turn to Dad "I have assessed your financial situation and I'm prepared to make an offer. I will buy you a truck free and clear of any debt if you take care of your teeth. Oh by the way mom, I didnt have time to look for yer bday present, what do you want?". That just sounds...ridiculous.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
One day a boy will sing this to me:
"Hey Juliet. I think your fine, you really blow my mind. Maybe some day you and me can run away. I just want you to know I wanna be your Romeo... Heeyy Julliettt" -LMNT
And I'll sing back:
"Your so fine, I want you mine, your so delicious. I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Hey hey you you I could be your girlfrieendd.." -Arvil