Please Dear God Don't Let Me Feel Responsible For His Behavior.
I feel like this is the most selfish type of thing I've done in all my life.
Running. Running to save ME.
Because I cant save them all.
I can't save anyone but myself.
They have their own agency.
Its ridiculous that their happiness depends on a girl, on me.
Its sad and its stupid.
Its like they dont have their own mind to think with.
Oh, but I do care about them so and fear for their well-being.
I can't keep asking myself if its all my fault.
If I did this to them.
Everyone else will ask that question too.
But I didn't.
He shows no signs of changing, of wanting the same goals at me.
All he does is talk. Says things I want to hear regarding goals together.
Says things to rationalize himself in this fake bubble of happiness.
Why does a break up have to be the end of the world for a boy? Why?
We have all been through enough break ups in our lives to know otherwise.
Give me the strength to do this, to say this.