Okay, I even admit at times I think the things I say about boys and dating are cliche and perhaps over exaggerated.
But the longer I live the more I realize these cliches are so true and not so exaggerated. I'm not being all drama, its true!
So the typical things to ask about/avoid are the boys that live at home in their parents basement and play video games all day long with no job or a mediocore job that they seem content with for the rest of their lives and esp if they are 30+ years old, right?
We want an educated guy that is in a professional career by age 30, has priorities and balances his time between work and play nicely. We want a guy that is independent, living on his own who actually owns something valuable like a car or house, not deep in debt leasing such valuable items. We want a man who loves his mother, but does not live with her. A man with a backbone, a leader, assertive and productive, knows what he wants and works toward it, a man that progresses!
So I went to a Halloween dance last night and within the last half hour of the dance a guy asked me dance and asked for my number. Based on what we talked about during our 'dance', I'm gonna have to say this isn't going to work out, but I believe in giving guys a chance.
He said he graduated HS in 2001, which is how he asks and answers the whole 'how old are you' question. Of course, that question comes up a lot and quickly when it comes to me.... But that makes him 31 years old and I thought, technically he's not supposed to be at this dance simply b/c of his age... and then he mentioned that he -used- to live in the area, as in the area of invited ppl to this dance... and then I asked where he lived now and he said he lived with his parents.... "I know I know I should move out by now..."
Things weren't going well from the get go. We won't even mention the 'circling me like a hawk' scene he created before he got the guts to ask me to dance.
So I changed gears, 30+ yr old living with parents, we can...we can get past that right? Let's move on to careers! I asked where he worked. He said the school district, now I can't see him as a teacher, so I asked what he does there, and he said he's the janitor. My inquiry stops there, mostly for obvious reasons, but he, the genius he is like most males, decides to continue talking saying something damning along the lines of 'I could be like an assistant janitor and move up the chain, but I dont really want to, its a lot more responsibility.'
Boy, that is so attractive. A boy with a HS education job as a career and no desire to progress and/or do better. We won't even get into the fact he has no idea what my career is. I won't even ask if he went to college.
Needness to say, I got all the information I needed from that one dance/convo. But of course, he asked for my number afterwards. I dont want to be a hypocritical coward like the boys so I said yes. I'll give him a chance. A small one.
Please dont tell me you dont have your license or you dont have a car to pick me up for a date. Please dont actually tell me you are borrowing you parents car if thas the case. And if you ask me to meet you somewhere, its over.
So there is it kids. My cliche come to life and I totally did not exaggerate!
The dance was fun tho. Camille and I went together. We new friends now I guess. We hooked up with Leslie while we were there and had fun. The costumes were absolutely hiliarious and wonderful. I was glad I went if just to people watch and see others' costumes.
The funny part about Camille and I going to together, the last half hour during the I swear the ONE slow song I heard all night (thankfully) we both got asked to dance and they both asked us for our number and the two boys that asked us were both dressed as Jason, but they couldn't wear their masks (rules) so they were both in jumpsuits. Camille thought I was telling her the guy she was dancing with asked for my number, when in fact it was an entirely different Jason/boy that danced with me and asked for my number.
The next day he texted and said he wanted to go out with me that night. I told him the days I wasnt available, which was that day, but he still asked, "What you doing tonight?" Oy vay. Why do I speak/text if he doesn't hear it? I was looking forward to a night by myself, the only night I'd have this week to do what I wanted to do at the house, but noooo. Can't have that, can I? Have to go out with a janitor. We all know it was the janitor in those murder mysteries!
He obviously had something in mind to do that night, which is better than picking me up and then asking me what I wanted to do. I figgered I'd get it over with quickly instead of thinking about it for a few days. So I said I'd make time, I pushed the time back a few hours cuz I knew I could only last like 3 hours with him. He continued to text during the day to keep the convo up by asking about my siblings, again. He asked last night, in text the next day, and then the whole night of the date. He was awfully interested in my siblings. Weird.
We went to a local place I've never heard of Shivers or something where they had a variety at silly prices considering you could make all those items at home basically. But I got a grilled ham and cheese sandwhich for like $3.19 and water. I'm stuck on grilled cheese again. Comfort food. He got some pizza tortilla thing and fries with a giant drink. I finished first, amazingly, and decided to stare at my date as he ate instead of the other way around for once. Food was the last thing from my mind. I kept staring that clock.
I guess I decided to play shy because I didn't talk much. I had to consciously tell myself not to do that stupid smile and giggle thing I always do when I dont know what to say/do. Eventually I consciously had to tell myself to not talk cuz when you are nervous or bored or whatever you say stupid things. Like he was. I figgered I'd let him spill it all out. I was unimpressed by his broken bones, sports in high school, paper route, things that happened to him forever ago, his siblings' married with children lives and his parents, always his parents, why? because he lives with them. You talk most about your daily life which invovles his parents eveyr day. I prolly didn't seem like a cute nice friendly approachable smily girl he thought I was. Hopefully. Finally.
Just a hint guys. Don't take a girl somewhere to do something you dont know how to do. It is unimpressive and boring as hell. Esp if its dancing! We did the same steps over and over and over for an hour. I was going to go mad and strangle him. Everyone else around us at least switched up the moves every once awhile. I did the same thing over and over. I stopped trying after the first redunant cha cha dance. I just walked the whole dance and avoided his feet so he wouldn't step on my toes, which he did, a lot. Mostly just standing near me, not actually dancing. I dont think he understands the personal bubble concept. Always in my face. I kept leaning away from him or scooting away.
I finally broke around 10pm and hinted to take me home. I did it. I survived. Literally, the ride in his car both times was scary. Not that he drove fast and crazy, he was a drifter, always drifting into another lane. He was spending too much time trying to look at me and talk. I stared at the road as a hint for him to keep his eyes on the road.
I got home and felt drained. I felt so somber and calm I'd swear we smoked a joint and I mellowed out since my day at work. I was stressing out at work. The things I wanted to do that night that I couldnt, the date, and my roommate trying to agrue and justify her way out of receiving her deposit back after everything she destroyed. I tried to be assertive and protect my things, my carpet I invested in, but she is mean and aggressive and I have a hard time winning those situations. Its an uphill battle, but I will try b/c I dont deserve that treatment. It was making me more and more angry thinking about the things she destoryed and her entitled attitude toward her deposit. I tried to remain calm. Cold sweats. Clammy hands. I tried to calm down before the date, took the dog for a walk. But now at like 10:30pm, as the day ends, I feel nothing. I feel empty. I used the last of my energy on this Dan guy and I feel dull now. But maybe I was calm enough to sleep.
It wasn't totally uncomfortable with him, he was nice, friendly banter, but it definitely wasn't an attractive kind of thing either. We talked about the cold. I said I liked it. He said he didn't. He said "I dont have a stitch of fat on me. I'm always cold." Gee, thanks, as the fat girl sits next to you. He was short and skinny. Too skinny. His face could be like a skeleton, bones poking out everywhere. *shudder*
Its not like I totally used him for a free meal. Even a janitor can afford $11 for dinner right? $3 being my meal? He just bought a new 2013 Honda Civic tho. Those are expensive and easily stolen. I can't afford one nor have one in my neighborhood. But of course at age 31 he finally bought a new car he'll spend forever paying off. What does he do with his money before? How can you work your life away and still not own anything at age 31? Evan bought a car last year too, the only thing he really owns, but is still paying off. I dunno. Maybe too quick to judge.
Epic and subtle line of the night you'd expect a high schooler to say, "I help my parents out by paying the cable bill and everything." He also admitted to attempting to Facebook stalk me. Great, juss great. See why I dont have Facebook?