Well, I didn't end up doing anything New Years Eve in 2014, again.
I stayed home with my bottle of sparkling cider and watched the movie New Years Eve with my dog.
It comes to a point in a YSA's life where the New Year thing is just counting another year of not having sex.
I was leaving work on New Years Eve and found a tenant in our building in his car with his head bent down in an unconscious state. I watched him for a while to see if he would move. He didn't. Oh great, I thought, why do I have to find the dead guy on New Years Eve? So I wandered over to his car and tapped on his window. He was hunched over, still in his seatbelt and car running, with his phone held limply in his lap. Slightly alarming sight. But he perked up as soon as I knocked and rolled down the window and went on to greet me as if we were talking for awhile... Happy New Year and all. I mentioned I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He said he fell asleep while listening to his messages. It looked more like he was trying to call for help before he passed out. But whatever. Glad he was alive. He's like in his 60's or 70's. Based on the behavior I would say more 70's.
But it made me wonder. Who falls asleep while listening to messages? In their running car? In their seatbelt? Does he do that at home? In other public places? Does he do that in the garage?...
I was toying with the idea of hanging out with Evan tho. But I thought about his invitation and noticed about 10 selfish things going on. It's amazing how he does that. Manipulates the situation to make it sound flattering and inviting, but its all just a ploy to satisfy himself if only for a breif moment which is how he used me for like three years. He said I could come to his place. HA. He shares a house with 5 or 6 other roomates so he only has a little bedroom. Spending the New Year in a 40 yr old's tiny bedroom does not seem enticing. He said we could play his Xbox games. And we all know how exciting his games are (coughSARCASMcough). And he said he'd cook up some steaks. He always wants/has steaks. Does the boy eat anything else? Then I remembered he turns into a pumpkin at like 10pm. How fun is that...
So spending the New Years in a 40 yr old's bedroom while watching him play his Xbox games and eating his steak prolly on his bed and going home around 10pm it juss didn't seem.... fun. So I kinda cancelled on him. Ish. Apparently he didn't get the rejection. Because a few days later he texted and went all drama on me cuz I didn't call him back after I had thought we changed our minds about hanging out that night. So he felt all ignored.
And what does he do when he feels sad, ignored, lonely, (you can almost name any emotion at this point in his life)? He drinks. So I got drunk texts from him New Years Eve. Lets juss say I was glad I didn't hang out with him, a sad, depressing, lonely, drunk 40 yr old in his bedroom for a couple of hours.
The next day we didn't talk. The next day he asked if I was mad at him, hence the silence the other day, and I said no. I was feeling rather honest and mentioned I don't have any emotion towards him anymore nowadays. I esp don't waste my time on being mad him for drinking. What good does that do? He said it sounded harsh. Like I said, I was feeling honest, do I apologize for that? I said there was no point being mad at him and then the next text he all blew up on me basically saying we aren't friends anymore and he knew I would "cut him" eventually like everyone else has. Then he continued to cut off ties with me by saying I could sell his leather and keep the money cuz I prolly deserve it for putting up with him for so long.
Again, feeling honest, but this time didn't say it, but I kinda had to agree with that last part. I prolly do deserve it. Anyways! I got lost in that argument. I thought not being mad at him would be a good thing for him. Ya know, cuz boys don't respond well when girls are mad or disappointed with them and they get more depressed or mad. How does he want me to react to his drinking? What does he want from me?
Nobody likes the drama friend.
Apparently he didn't get, in our last convo, that we had changed our plans and decided not to hang out and I was busy at work and accidently said the detramental phrase of "I'll call you back". Apparently ppl take that literally. So I thought we changed plans, the end, no need to call. He said I made plans with him and then ignored him. Technically he'd have to call me for me to ignore him, but whatever, sure, I ignored him. He said it wasn't cool. I noticed he stands up for himself when he isn't being treated the way he wants. But when someone else does it, its somehow their own fault or something? Anyways... I didn't really care.
So I had a hard time convincing myself to patch things up with him. It would be easier if I didn't. Sigh. I'm still a slight sucker for the guy I guess. He was ending the so-called friendship we have because I wouldn't call him back. Drinking usually ends up with drama I've noticed. Oy vay. I eventually said sorry. He said it was okay and like usual, used his drinking as his excuse for his behavior. Seriously. I honestly dont ever remember saying sorry to that boy in the whole three years we were together. I should prolly work on that for the future, maybe not now though, with him...anyways...