I have a pet peeve that is climbing to the top of my list recently...
Its actually yet another spin off of my original pet peeve so its still No 1 pet peeve of mine: Suffering the consequences of someone elses decisions.
In this case, someone elses LACK of decisions.
As a Young Single Adult we always get the same speech: "go on dates, get married, have children"
And it's usually the men that get an additional speech like unto: "stop procrastinating, stop delaying, get off the video games, get off your butt and ask a girl out! In person, not in text"
And to this the girls, who are pushing 30 and just want children, they respond with a resounding "Yeah! What he said."
I'm not entirely sure what my pet peeve is exactly...
Is it the fact the girls dump all the responsibility on the guys? And they wait and wait for them to make a move? They do nothing to change their situation? I mean, sure, generally its the guys responsibility, but we are in the 21st century here, things have changed since when our parents dated.
Is it the fact they whine and complain about the guys not doing anything for years....and years... and years? I find myself nodding.
Or is it the fact the reason they are complaining about not being married at 26-28 is because their happiness depends on being married and/or having children?
I guess my pet peeve is all rolled up into all three there...
Every time there is the lecture to get off your butt and ask people out on dates all the girls ALWAYS assume they are talking to just the boys even when the girls are there listening too. The girl next to me made the comment of "I'm not the one delaying" as in she's not the one procrastinating going on dates.
I wanted to call "bullshit" right there!
She may not technically be responsible for asking boys out, but she sure as hell is going to complain about it the rest of her life and/or NOT do ANYTHING to CHANGE her situation and just blame boys. She doesn't even show up to activities to even MEET boys, let alone stick around long enough for one to ask her out. She does the minimum of going to church and lack of talking/participating with others, let alone boys.
Seriously, a boy isn't going to go hunting in all the closets looking for you. They barely find you when you stand right in front of them.
Don't get me wrong, I do not defend the boys and their laziness of lack of dating.
But I am not commending the women who complain, blame others, and do nothing to change their circumstances and base their happiness on said circumstances!
As for the dating world in 2015, I say both genders are lame and are doing nothing to change the future of dating, marriage, and families.
A prime example is my roommate. She may want to smack me for all the sugar and junk food I eat as she eats no sugar at all and only eats fruit and exercises, but man I want to smack her when it comes to boys....
She's a 26 yr old that wants to be married and having children like...yesterday. I'm not sure the girls actually want the boys per say, but they are necessary when having children? I dunno. Their priorities and motivations are all hidden it seems.
But, like most of us at this age, we have an ideal guy in mind (aka perfect, aka doesn't exist) so then we start getting really picky. Stuck in our ways. 'I won't date him cuz he's not my ideal height.' 'I won't date white guys because I'm not attracted to them as much.' I won't date a guy who doesn't have a career, a degree, an RM, etc. etc. the list goes on and on.... Granted, that narrows the list GREATLY. And to be so closeminded you might just miss the love your life... But I won't get into that...
Knowing the types you are attracted to is a big part of dating, but you don't need to stick to yer ideal like glue, have an open mind. I dated tall, short, redhead, old man, blonde, burnette, calm, divorced, temperamental rm, not rm, smoker, immature, religious, non-religious etc.
And then, of course, she is also one that just goes to church does the minimum talking to get through the hours and goes home and never shows up until the next Sunday. Doesn't go to any activities to get to know any of the boys. She works at her sisters house, stays there until like 7, exercises but not even in a public place, comes home and sits in front of the TV or reads until bedtime (which is often going to bed early). She doesn't meet anyone! How does she expect someone to ask her out? A boy is not going to figure out where she lives and knock on her door!
And then, by some miracle, a boy from church did ask her out and she moans and groans cuz he doesn't fit her ideal attractiveness. Seriously! Boys should get a serious pat on the back just for being brave enough to ask a girl out! Recently, all I ask for is for a boy to know how and actually flirt! Asking out on a date is too much, but at least try and flirt! And here she is complaining some guy asked her out. I don't know what she wants from these boys!
And now, since she went out with said boy and he asked her out again, suddenly she has all these stipulations about how her dates have to go in order to be satisfied. They have to be "low key" and since she is such a tight wad, they have to be inexpensive so she knows they are like financially compatible or whatnot. *rolls eyes* GAH!
It's so frustrating. No wonder the men don't date!
If he takes her bowling she'd cut him off right there! Cuz she's like an old lady who goes to bed early and can't do anything exciting, her excitement level is like taking a walk or getting a drink.
I have been thinking about it a lot and I've realized my roommate is no fun. She goes to bed early, doesn't eat sugar, doesn't do anything fun or spontaneous, it seems to have to be planned, she doesn't spend money, etc., she's like a married person with children already. Natalie, being married and with children, is more fun and spontaneous than my roommate.
This girl was ready to write him off her list simply because he wasn't tall enough!
Attraction is important, but c'mon, give the personality a chance!
*bangs head on desk*
I mean I'm not attracted to the skinny jeans kind of skinny boys, but I'm not going to say no if they ask me out and I'm not going to say yes begrudgingly either. Although I don't think skinny boys would ask me out cuz I'm fat.... but whatever.
I do not believe I fall into this pet peeve category. I do not find happiness in pursuit of boys, marriage, and children. In fact, I am somewhat repulsed by it. So I'm not complaining that no one is asking me out cuz I really don't care, and if I cared enough I would ask the boy I'm interested in out. I do sometimes complain that the boys don't ask some of my friends out cuz they are great girls and no one is taking the time to figure that out and its frustrating.
Marriage and children seem to be every girls goal in life, but its not the first thing I think of... I dont really know what I think of. I dont even have a career goal really. I guess I'm happy where I am. And in time that will change and my goals will change (and/or I will have some) and maybe I'm weird because I'm not obsessed with having a husband and children. But I think its okay to be content with you are at any given point in your life and come what may. Don't fret about the things you can't change, like children, but don't sit back and blame others for things you can change, like dating!
Its not rocket science. Going to activities + doing what yer supposed to (FHE) + meeting new people (aka talking to others) might actually = date. Sitting at home all week is not going to get you closer to meeting a guy which leads to a date.
I'm not even obsessed with dating and I go out (in public) all the time! Almost 5 out of 7 days a week, talk to people, go to activities, learn new things, etc. I have a better chance of dating and I'm not sure I even want it! I have a better chance simply cuz I am more open minded... granted, you prolly shouldn't be as open minded as I am, you should have some priorities that are important to you like dating a religious person or whatnot, or non-smoker if thats important to you, etc...
I swear if I hear one more girl stand behind those lectures saying "Yeah! Get off your butt. I'm not getting any younger." Essentially saying "Its your fault I'm not dating/married and having children by now" I'm gonna go all ape shit crazy. Or any more ridiculous comments, "I'm not the one procrastinating" or "he's not tall enough" Or "the dates have to be low key, I do low key", "they have to have this eye color", "they have to say this exact thing" blah blah blah.
And to the boys, I know its difficult, we girls are difficult, but the things worth the most in life are difficult, so buck up and grow a pair and come deal with us difficult women! Go make a girl fall in love with you if you have too. Noah in 'The Notebook' did... worked out for him... Be intriguing for once in your life!
Somebody DO something! Stop complaining!