Another shot at the whole dating life.
We had the stake activity yesterday. A big deal. Lots of people. Estimated like 800 YSA.
Anyways I went last year, it was fun, decided to go again this year.
I'm assuming this kid had a goal to ask a girl out by the end of the night. Either that or someone told him to.
Of course, as they wrap up the evening he is finally seriously looking.
Okay, he seemed more desparate then actively looking for someone he liked to ask out.
I also assume he was circling the water stations for that same reason....
I happened to go get water at the end of the night.
He said like two awkward things to me as I got water.
Apparently I lingered too long and didn't just get water and walk away.
But then he walked away. Didn't think much of it.
One of the leaders came around to fill the water coolers or dump it out as the night was over.
He was very personable. Very friendly and chatty.
He causally mentioned that I should basically walk with him to where he was working.
I didn't think much of it and followed him a few feet away and there was this kid.
Then it became apparent this kid went to talk this leader, and they were buddies, and to told him he was thinking about asking me out.
The kid said nothing, okay he made one comment, about me, to this leader, as if I weren't there. No eye contact.
Obviously the kid liked me (somehow this was indicated by his lack of interest in me) and disturbingly it was this leader that chatted me up like a boy should when getting to know someone and/or ask them out. He asked about me, my name, my ward, what I did for a living, etc. He even compliemented me. Very distracting and somewhat flattering.... cept it should have come from this kid and not a married man.
The leader then proceeded to be blunt with his words of "So would you be interested in going on a hike with my buddy Jason here to say.... Ensign Peak." *(he was clearly making this up on the fly) Jason obviously had no idea what he was talking about. I like Ensign, haven't been this year, and I do actually want to go. This leader was so dang comfortable to talk to I didn't hide my excitement for the place.
And then the slightly sinking feeling knowing this leader just asked me out FOR this kid Jason. Really?
It wasn't just awkwardness. (and somehow this leader seemed to extinguish awkwardness quickly.)
But still, the principle was there....or maybe it was missing.
It was very disturbing how normal the leader made this all sound.
The kid specifically went to a leader to seek help in asking out a girl! Problem #1.
Problem #2. The leader actually did it FOR him!
I can't really tell which one is worse at this point...
My roommate mentioned the term "grow a pair". I should've used that line.
But instead I, talking to the leader the whole time b/c the boy never made eye contact with me or talked to me, answered by saying "I'd consider if he would ask me himself."
Ya know, like with words, generally in my direction and possibly eye contact?
I shouldn't have lingered at the water station. I should have grabbed a drink and high tailed it. Maybe dating is like the jungle, the predators take so long to pick a prey they finally get desparate by the end of the night and have to pick from the only ones left: the slow, ugly and fat ones.
I'm somewhat glad the leader made up a date for us though. Sadly. Because I know if I said yes to a date with just the kid he would ask me where I want to go and/or not make a decision, or worst, make a really bad decision.
Then the leader proclaimed he did his job and left us. He made a point to specifically tell the kid to get my number. And I understand, sadly, he had to mention that for a reason.
I don't recall the boy actually asking me out directly.
This kid obviously does not make decisions.
He has lost a lot of points in less than an hour.
I wonder how long our date will last? How many more points can he lose?
I tried to give him points by assuming he wanted (had a goal to have) a date by the end of the night, even with some help. Most guys' thought processes or goals don't get that far...
Well, I'm at least glad, no matter how the date ends up, I'll be doing something I want to do. And since he prolly won't make any decisions I can make him do the things I want to do and just be bossy and tell him what to do.
I wonder how old this kid is.
I swear, if its not their parents that get in the way or are more interesting, its the leaders and their so-called "help". Speaking of parents, I'm fairly certain he doesn't live with his parents. That's a plus? I think being a janitor is his career though...
My last date I had was with a janitor as a career (same as his dad), in his 30's, living with his parents (didnt even pay rent, paid the cable bill which he was prolly the only one that used), made a decision for the date of cheap food and dancing to which he knew only two steps: back and forth, literally. For hours. Kill me now.
This what we have become? Adults who run to another generation for hand holding because we can't do it ourselves? Now, adult peers running to each other, that would be normal. Asking advice of either generation would be normal. Wingmen are normal. Adults setting up adults on dates, blind or not. That's normal, but shouldn't be. Getting your wingman to ask someone else out for you. That's not normal.
Okay so, when a guy does something socially unacceptable like that in order to get a date and/or something just as awkward during the date. Is there any reason why I can't do something stupid and awkward like that too? Like say, bring a wingwoman with me on said date, having a third wheel? Calling or texting someone the whole time I'm on date? Tell him I don't want to go like 30 minutes before he's supposed to show up?
What?! If they think its acceptable to do such things, why can't I? Esp after they did something stupid first!
I don't know how to play these games. I shouldn't have to play these games. You'd think after like a decade of dating you'd have some of this figured out.
I'm too old for this shit!
Men, just grow a pair, ask a girl out, and make a freakin decision!