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Feeling: helpless

My goal this holiday 3-day weekend was to:

a)  take down the Christmas tree

b)  fix the toilet 

c) try a new recipe (to get rid of the shrimp)

The first was successful on Saturday.  It has been up for over a year now.  I suppose it's about time.  It was some weird way of mourning for my dog because it was still there when he passed.  And it felt weird and wrong to put it away. I'm not sure why he hated (aka was scared of) that tree. 

I managed to replace the valve that controls turning on and off the water to the toilet.  This was not without major frustration.  Oh, the joys of home ownership.  I had to ask the neighbor a) for his wrench and b) for his muscles in collusion with said wrench in order to get the stupid bolt off that connected the valve in order replace said valve.  And then I went to the hardware store and was looking at the valves trying to find mine when an older man in the orange apron came along to help me.  He's one of those close talkers taking each piece and telling me what goes where and how.  He even reached the shortest hose I needed that was hanging up and he wasn't that much taller than me. Cute.  A little ray of sunshine and an angel to help me in the middle of my frustration of the tiolet saga.  But then I couldn't tighten the before mentioned bolt now that I had everything else replaced and ready to go.  Hey neighbor, I'll give you your wrench back if you come tighten this bolt you took the time to untighten a few minutes ago... 

Thank you neighbor for hugging my toilet and using your muscles and tools.

Having control over the water to your separate toilets is somewhat of a God-sent that you don't realize until you can't control it and have to turn off the water to the entire house until you can control it.  New found gratitute for water. And strong neighbors. 

But that's only part one of the toilet saga.  Now I must fix the seal in the toilet tank so the tank doesn't keep leaking and actually holds water in order to flush.  And of course that means taking the whole tank off the toilet.  Another day, my friend, another day. 

I had only a few hours to fix the valve before me and my roommate needed water and my hosting of Natalies bday party at my house which would be wonderful if I had water for my guests. 

Sunday I took a break from it all.  Saturday went by fast and frustrating.  Need new energy.

Monday came with renewed, more relaxed energy, mainly regarding the tiolet issue.  This time I had no time limit and I still had water for the house and it is wonderful to have two toilets so as one could work while I attempt to fix the other. 

Got the tank off but could not, for the life of me, get the -plastic- nut off the tank in order to take out the assembly inside and replace it.  So I went to plan B, changing the one seal I could get out of the tank and hoped that was the faulty seal that needed replacing.  So off to the store to find a flimsy seal and of course, it can't be that easy now can it?  I decide to buy the whole assembly while I'm there, to save a trip ya know, and the seal, just in case.  And of course I end up getting the wrong size of seal so I have to go back to the store anyway!  But the fact I can't undo the current assembly there is no point of attempting to replace it. ARGH.  I refuse to go back to the store.

It is so frustrating to -know- what needs to be done but can't do it merely because of physical limitations. And I apparently hate asking for help.  I just like to complain instead. :D   It hurts my ego to know I can't do it and have to ask a guy to help. 

It's not like I don't know what I'm doing or what needs to be done, I'm not really lacking knowledge!  If anything its the simple process of elimination.  It doesn't take a genius or a plumber. Maybe I'm lacking the right tools or the muscle but still....  

My roommate keeps telling me to call a plumber.  A normal girls way out.  Well, I'm not going to be one of those girls!  I can do this.  If nothing else Claine has faith in me. Its MY house and I will find a way to fix it. And I'm not calling a plumber just to untwist a stupid piece of plastic!  This is ridiculous.  I would take a hammer to the plastic, but its too close to the porcelain and I'm not that skilled with a hammer esp when angry. 

So I took a break and decided on a new project.  I decided to try a new recipe in my crock pot.  Shrimp galore. I'm tired of shrimp by day three.  I had shrimp meals Saturday (Olive Garden for Natalies bday), Monday (new recipe), and Tues (when I took it to work for lunch).  

I just wanted a project I wouldn't fail at.  I wanted to be successful in at least one thing that day. The toilet may have won that battle, but I will win the war!

Tuesday comes along and again more renewed energy.  Went to the gym, made it back to the hardware store, got my money back and got the right size of seal ("universal 3inch" - my butt!) and came home and wrestled with the tank again.  Still didn't get anywhere. Since I bought the whole assembly I might as well just replace everything, mwhaha, but that doesn't work when you can't take out the current assembly!  The toilet won again and I took a shower. 

People look at single adults and think how easy their life is.  "They dont have to make hard choices.  They have all the time and money in the world.  They can do whatever they want whenever they want."  blah blah...

And maybe my life is 'easier' considering my only stresses and decisions in life are how to fix my toilet, whether or not I should replace my dead dog with a cat now not even a year later, or if I should go to the temple, or take an institute class, or attempt to ask that boy out or whatever... but they are still hard, and real, to us and we have to make those decisions alone.  If you are married, the hope is at least, that you have someone to help make decisions with you. I could express my concerns and complaints to others but lets face it, because its not their problem they don't have too much meaningful info or advice for you.  These are decisions they've already made or are not that hard for them as it is for you. They just don't understand. 

But I'm not entirely alone in my decisions.  I still have God to help me. I think He understands me. 

 

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001 - Year 2005
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