I ate a whole box of girl scout cookies yesterday. Tagalongs. mmm peanut butter.
I make snide comments to myself a lot throughout the day, and yell, and complain.
I can like literally watch the sweat pour out of me. For no apparent reason.
I know the weather is a lot warmer than it normally is in March, but this much sweat only comes a few days when I'm off the pill.
I can't stand the feel of my skin, the sweat.
I can't let any body part touch any other part of my body because of contact of skin.
Keep my hands apart, keep material between my thighs, don't put my arms down, dont bend your elbows.
I can't stand the smell of me either because of the sweat.
I just want to go home and scrub myself raw.
Peel all my clothes off and wash them immediately. As if that would stop the sweating for the night.
I can drink a lot of water when I'm off the pill though. Between the blood loss and the sweat, I can down any drink. Even pop.
Oh how I long to touch my phone screen without my fingers sticking.
Oh how I long for a smooth dry swipe or texting conversation.
Food, which usually sounds practical, is an absurd idea now.
I love artichoke and spinach dip for some reason even though I dislike both those ingredients.
So recently the thought of actually eating spinach or artichokes, knowing they're in such dip, makes me sick.
There's actually spinach in there! And artichokes! I can taste them individually now. I can smell them in there!
And of course, speaking of smell, I can smell -everything- all the time.
Which also doesn't help with the food idea.
It literally comes in waves, in seconds, "Oh, that sounds good to eat." Five seconds later after a few thoughts and smells roll through my head, "Oh, I am not eating that."
And this is only four days off the pill.
Imagine if I attempted to get my body to regulate my periods by going off the pill forever.
This is juss a precursor, a glimpse of my future if I were to become pregnant. *shudder*
Happy Saint Patricks Day!
My only green shirt I have that fits me now, and isn't long sleeve to slowly kill me in this heat, is my stick figures with the caption "I didn't hit you. I high-fived your face!"
Beauty and the Beast comes out today! I want to go see it so bad.
So while you are all out getting drunk and/or partying tonight....
I'll be curled up in bed, groaning in pain, watching a movie and eating a tub of cookie dough I acquired for free with a recent pizza purchase (mainly because the pizza suddenly didn't sound good to eat anymore).
Don't judge me.