remember what I said about things working out? maybe they aren't. I feel like I'm on american idol and I'm in the bottom two. am I going to get voted off? either way, I am still a horrible wannabe pop singer. even if I win, it will be a long time before any of my music that I make after this catches on, maybe second place will still end up being more popular than me.

I just want security. I want to know what's going on, what's happening tomorrow, what's happening ever.  

ps: whoa, looking back my entries there is a clear cycle in my life. I am happy, optimistic, and energetic for a while and then I am depressed and hopeless for a while. interesting. the only thing that doesn't change is I play a shit load of music all the time. so that's cool. 

So everything I thought was terrible that happened in the past? Turns out it was all for a good reason. I am really happy with my life. I feel my band is starting to get successful, I have the greatest friends, and a lot of hope on the horizon. 

I am in a really happy, comfortable place right now. 

I feel so different each day. It usually starts out excited and ready to take on the day, and I usually feel pretty decent and content around 12 to 2. However in the evenings I realize the horrible loneliness that consumes my thoughts more than any other thing. I was so happy many months ago, happy with my friendships and relationship. Now I am happy with school, I'm doing well there, but I have such a void within me. I want to go back about 2 years or maybe more and be a better person like I know I could have been. Everything would still be great. 

last entry I said something about everything going right in the world or something.

WRONG!

nothing seems right anymore. my whole life has taken such a drastic turn for the worse in the last few days.

so I haven't written on this dumb thing in a long time. not much has changed in my life though.

I am still in a love craze.

I am still rockin the shit out of everything.

BUT guess what! I'm actually on track to graduate, so everything is going right in the world now.

its funny how you can do the same thing every night and it keeps you entertained, but you do the same thing when everyone else is doing something else and all you can feel is loneliness.

so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick.

seriously. I have no friends. will you be my friend?

It's difficult to come up with very interesting things to write when your life is going so perfectly.

I love my life.

I am in love with a wonderful woman. I am in love with an amazing band.

I like to do stupid shit sometimes.

I guess I don't really like to, it's just more that I can't help it. Everyone does stupid shit at times I guess.

Here's some info about me:

I am 16.

I like to play shows.

I play guitar and the drums (as well as other percussive instruments)

I tend to make people feel bad when I don't like them.

I do not like to be called immature.

I really don't have anything to say, or for you to decide, I just wanted to title this that.

I am really bad at posting blogs and other writings because I am much more interested in other people than I am in telling about myself.