It's almost the end of the month, It's been so long. Time has gone by so fast. this year is almost over, Only this week left, and I've taken my first Exam for History class today. The school won't allow me to go into the eleventh grade because my GPA isn't high enough, its a 1.3 something, and I need a 1.5 to Graduate to the tenth grade, but not to the Eleventh. So I'm going to be a tenth grader with all eleventh grade classes. And the people I despise the worst at my school aren't even seniors, so I'll have to put up with their existance next year. All the good people are leaving, about eighty something students in a three hundred student school are graduating, yet we are loosing one hundred and fifty students, that means we'll have a shitload of new commers next year. they won't move the school over the summer cause they need permits that take about a month each to get and there is only two and a half months of summer, so the school will be waiting until christmas break to do anything drastic like that. Kevin and Lexi are almost fully out of my life, I Basically told them to get lost and they had for a while and then just the other day kevin had this little thing where he wanted to be an asshole and IM me on every diffrent screen name he had telling me to go die, that I was fat, and all sorts of shit and I couldn't take it, I seriously feel like cutting. I talked to lexi on Myspace email for the past three days and told her how badly I was cutting and all sorts of shit she was all, "Seek help seek help" and pretending to be nice, Found out it wasn't even lexi, it was kevin the whole time, and he started laughing about it like it was his little joke, I hate him.. I'm trying to find a new boy, His names Jamie to be exact, he lives in town yet he's never online or anything, I've been talking to his friend bri more often then him, I talked to her all day long yesterday and kept wondering where he was, she kept telling me that his dad was homophobic and that he was an asshole like that and wouldn't let jamie do things sometimes when jamie wanted to, so it made me feel less worried, but more bored. Then the Internet went out once again yesterday and I was stuck with no internet. Jeremy wants me to get a job at hottopic so last wednesday I had got the application and filled it out as best as I could, I'm turning it in tomorrow I think, thats what he said, Lets hope so and see if he doesn't blow me off again. tommorrow is Mine and Frankie's one month annaversary, we've been having a fake relationship online for that long. since she asked for an internet boyfriend. it's pretty serious, I dunno what will happen when I see her in real life, I'd feel weird but I'd get used to it, she knows I'm gay so she won't expect me to do things I couldn't do. Hopefully. so yeah.. Me and Michael have been chatting it up alot more now then anything, since he's the only sweet guy on this planet and all, That's probably the only thing I'll thank Kevin for is for introducing me to him, or giving me the ability to be introduced to him. I like him, If he were here, I would be jealous of anyone who looked at him. yeah.. I wanna go to sleep, like I always do when I feel extremely depressed. I'll write tomorrow, Promise -Matti