so i havent witren in a long time so lots have happend so yea

well i havent writen in while so ...... well i been talking to beasom of all people and well today i told him that my moms knows that we had sex, and well know i feel like sith for telling him.

so my mom b/f is moving out, im happy but my sister tells the im being selfish becaues all i want is to move back home. and my mom wants to die caues she cant take it any more, she says the she is in the middle of it. and that i need to show respect to him.. i hate him and i will always do, i cant change and i dont want to. she said that she is in love with him, but how can you be in love with a guy that is driving your kids crazy and that they want him died? soo thats were im n life right now.

so my mom found out that i had sex and my sister told her.. it was a seacte(sp) that me and my sister had ,and what does she do, she tells my mom becaues she mad about something, tana has a stick up her ass that needs to be pulled. just caues she depressed dose not mean she has to take me down with her!! i feel like shit for what i did i could have said no but i didnt want to be plan old christine anymore i wanted to do something that i should have done.

"It Don't Matter" Sittin in traffic another day of feeling nothing Trying to find something I guess it's back to huffin' Paint and model glue oh how I die when I look At you smilin' lovin' life and all I know is blue Rainy days and cold stares broken love affairs Everything's beautiful as long as I ain't there I guess I wasn't meant to crack a smile who cares I think I'll go to sleep for a while now I'm barely livin' in my skin depression's my only friend And I don't know where I am heading tryin' to forget where I've been And I'm so sick of lying God please shwo me that silver lining Cuz I've heard tale and I'm not well my heads full of hell and This world's a jail but And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear And as the apin begins to displace had it to ear level With this place you see it on my face a state of suspended grace Gradually I erase and find comfort in the sickest womb I might be present but no in the room To whom it may consume melting ensembles bleeding chellos running through Bordellos drama Like Othello hidin' out from Poncharello Dead off in the Median Fallin apart like usual handin' out flyers to my funeral So they say that life's a play and that all the world's a stage Then for another part I pray the show ends the same way everyday And my heart carries the pain of a brain I can't explain Am I insane Am I insane And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear And everything good is gone And everything good is gone And everything good is gone And everything bad is here And everything bad is here And everything bad is here It doesn't really matter now does it And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear And it don't matter and I don't care I let my pain into the air Cuz everything good's over there And everything here's hard to bear this is how im feeling right now

why does love hurt so bad, it feels like a kinfe in my heart, and i cant breath. all my wall in side me are crummbling can i cant stop to think whats going to happend.every night as i go to sleep i cant help but think about dying caues it hurts so bad, and the person i love i porbly will never see agian.i cant take it anymore my life ufishily(sp) sucks. love always christine

im so pissed caues my mom found out by tana, what i did in the summer. but i hope that tana didnt tell my mom that i got laid.

well seaira didnt runaway thank god, well my dad kicked my sister out of the houes and now she is living with MY BOYS!!! the past week was carzy for me. i just got off wwork and god im frecking tierd(sp). well g2g write more later!!

i got a phone call from seaira and she said that shes running away and moving in with this gut that we know and she deying her hair the same color of mine.fuck i cant stop crying god this sucks.she going to leave wensday.

seaira just told me that she took 1320 hydorcoden. she was so sick last night.we r all each other has to hang on to anymore. sith now im crying this life sucks ASS.

Bitoz was fuck ing awsome. these hot army dudes were checking me out it was hott. well i a little high right now so yea ... good night

alexs big party is this weekend and im not there this sucks so damm bad caues i know if i was there i would get laid by my boys

Well im back in alaska and it sucks. the day befor i left i went to the beach with ,alex,tommie,dave,searia,devon. it was so much fun.we all went back to the house and hung out.then i had to leave so we all took pictures.the hardest part was saying good bye.the frist preson was dallas, he hugged me then i looked up at him and we made out for like 5 mins. then i said good-bye to tommie and we kissed, then devon,then alex. me and my sister took seaira home then i cryed so damm hard. i miss my BOYS so damm much i dream about them and what we did.

iam sitting in my room looking at this damm scren(sp) and writing whatever comes to my head.and everthing i think about turns out to be related to dallas i have no clue why. i know this does not make any sence(sp) but whatever comes to mind im writing it .now im crying i have no clue why but now that i think of it iam alone whitout someone to hold me cloes to them as we sleep together. and this person happends to be Dallas.

my emotions are killing me inside. i cant help but cry everyday caues miss the people that i love the most in life right now.and i wont get to see them till next summer. _____________________________________________ last night i went to the rave it was so much fun. i meet this guy and not even 5 mins later i kissed him. but what sucked is that imagend it was Dallas. i dont know but i have a lot of feeling for him and its killing me.

well seaira fucked this guy james and potter her somewhat bf walked in on them fucking.and well last night i want over to alex's houes and james was there. and i was siting in this chair and he came and sat on me . well he put his lighter in his pants and told me to get it out of the pants and he was all like if u dont getit out your a pussy and well i reached in his pants and got it. then he got up he told me to fallow him so, next thing you knowim fucking him in the bathroom.

well i fucked tommie on my brithday and i got my tounge pirced.last night i fucked dallas and we were fucking in the same room that seaira and tommie were fucking in.we had so much fun.me and seaira got drunk,we downed 2 bottles of boones farm,and tripple black.

well when i fucked besome we didnt have a condom.i was scared that i was pregnet,but im not. the other night my friend lesa( cant spell it ) was tired and so she put her head on my boob. and when she woke up she was all like hey everybody christine's boobs feel like pillows!! and all the guys were all like OH yea !! wink wink

well since iv been in tn ,i have been to lots of partys,and well i did some thing with 3 guy at the party. frist i did something with Rick,lets just say hands and other thing in palces.then i fucked a guy named Besome. then 2 nights ago i did the same thing i did with Rick,with Tim. so far i have been naughty girl.!

Artist: Rehab Song: Drinkin' problem Album: Southern Discomfert [" Southern Discomfert " CD] (feat. Denny aka "Steaknife") I've gotta drinkin' problem man one mouth and two hands And an empty can I ain't got no loochie loochie And yall don't understand I'm just a simple man Doin' the best I can without no loochie I'm feelin' that funny feelin' again within walkin' me to the kitchen For that early morning gin drink it in till my thoughts they become clear Dress my naked air and head the fuck up outta here fightin' traffic The hot sun be causin' havoc ass stuck to the seaat window cracked can't see passed it the liquor store I just passed it Lookin' back I gotta turn around I can't stop thinkin' exactly that u-turn the past I leave behind for the ill bumpin' two busted six by nines And I feel this day to be a good one of plenty even if I'm thirsty and my pockets are empty I've gotta drinkin' problem man one mouth and two hands And an empty can I ain't got no loochie loochie And yall don't understand I'm just a simple man Doin' the best I can without no loochie Come from a long line of alcoholics livin' from toilet to toilet you call it I'm callin' hotlines swervin' all over yellow lines drinkin' moonshie Damn was that a stop sign I ain't doin' good but I'll be fine danno where's that cheap wine Drunk since 9 guzzlin' boone's farm Trying to stop my shakin' arm I'm here to stumble the earth and forewarn 7 weeks since I had had shower I black out like you pulled th plug on Georgia Power Southern discomfort baby Seein' pink elephants on down the freeway the proof on the bottle 180 runnin' out of Loochiey And I won't survive if you don't let me borrow another five I'm a do it anyway if I'm alive I've gotta drinkin' problem man one mouth and two hands And an empty can I ain't got no loochie loochie And yall don't understand I'm just a simple man Doin' the best I can without no loochie Spent my last money on a pabst blue ribbon I be gulpin never sippin Cuz I have to booted out the crib and that's cool Lone as I have brew face flush stare at a lush I might bust you in the gums I gotta problem my life's too up tempo but yo I'm just simple man whose mind is crippled man it all started at a party and I was only 15 now I can kill a fifth of Bacardi and I dirnk and pass out wake up ass and start again I been to AA but hey hey gimme the bottle 12 steppers actin like they never took a swallow [Hook: (fade)] I've gotta drinkin' problem man one mouth and two hands And an empty can I ain't got no loochie loochie And yall don't understand I'm just a simple man Doin' the best I can without no loochie