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| Our Newest 30 |
| thx1138 | 8/28/08, 1:39 am |
| sophia | 8/27/08, 9:04 pm |
| gina | 8/26/08, 3:18 pm |
| redheadcharade | 8/25/08, 12:52 pm |
| kuldeeppanchal | 8/24/08, 2:00 am |
| paintbynumbers | 8/21/08, 2:50 pm |
| chanelikaa | 8/21/08, 12:47 pm |
| deadtotheheart | 8/20/08, 3:47 pm |
| ladybirid | 8/20/08, 12:01 pm |
| charmkaster | 8/19/08, 1:10 pm |
| hotflash | 8/18/08, 9:23 pm |
| pomegranate | 8/16/08, 1:44 pm |
| happybirthday | 8/16/08, 1:34 am |
| lookslikenight | 8/15/08, 9:58 pm |
| alexamcg | 8/15/08, 12:51 am |
| rachelj220 | 8/14/08, 12:49 am |
| turtlemoonwave | 8/13/08, 11:12 pm |
| brwnxsuga | 8/13/08, 4:03 pm |
| likearainbow | 8/13/08, 3:14 pm |
| scoot | 8/12/08, 1:00 pm |
| refrigerator | 8/11/08, 7:27 am |
| whatjesicasaid | 8/10/08, 2:34 pm |
| talldreamz | 8/08/08, 2:26 am |
| starstocanine | 8/06/08, 12:07 am |
| flawlesssecret | 8/05/08, 8:05 pm |
| mistergoguels | 8/05/08, 1:20 am |
| yurisaki | 8/03/08, 4:57 am |
| compactdisc | 8/02/08, 8:10 am |
| chikolata | 8/01/08, 12:15 pm |
| beachbttms | 8/01/08, 3:04 am |
1 person has joined today, so far!
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| What's New at sitDiary? |
| Sit Chat - Now Available (0) |
8/21/08, 10:01 am |
Hey,
Just so you know, there's now a chat box available on the main page for all registered users.
Thanks,
Scott |
| (16) Comment/Read more on the news diary >> |
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| A school (0) |
| by hotflash on August 28th, 2008 @ 8:05pm |
So I've just been thinking, and I've been thinking about life, and what I want to do. I've always been the one for adventuring and all that, I mean if I worked a 9 to 5 job every day in a cubicle, I'd just kill myself, cause I'd already be dead on the inside. I guess thats why I'm choosing the service, I've never been one for the easy way out, quite the contrary, I purposely divert myself to take the hard way, to see if I can do it, see if I have what it takes, it's a little challenge, I like to do that every day with myself, keeps me on my toes. And I'm going to be glad every aching step of the way until I get to what I want, and even then, I'll never stop, I'm an unstoppable force, and I can't wait until I meet that immovable object, oh wait, I already did, and I work well with that, and I'm glad that shes going to be there for me as I am her.
Today, I'm feeling pretty damn good
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| How Ubserd! (3) |
| by clamatamat on August 28th, 2008 @ 7:59pm |
So it's a wonderful new year of highschool. Having to deal with a bunch of retarded kids and self-absorbed teachers is always loads of fun. I can't wait till I can go to college. Maybe I will be free from it all. ...maybe not..
Speaking of college, I still have to figure out where I am going to apply to. I'm still pretty sure I'm going to try for BC. If I do that though, I'm going to need to raise my SAT scores a bit. Better hit the books Mike.
Erin comes home in a few days. It will be nice to see her. I miss her. Plus I'm taking her out for a dinner and a movie which is long overdue. I feel terrible about that, but it's my own fault.
I have to see my cousin sometime. Good luck finding someone who wants to take me to Scranton.=/
Anyway...
Yeah that's about it.
P.S. We learned about how the universe works and what it's shaped like. My mind is quite baffled trying to picture it. It makes me wanna be a cosmologist...
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| My true love... (0) |
| by woesofaheart on August 28th, 2008 @ 7:48pm |
So now that I am on a less emotional note. Satan may get the best of me once in a while but I am still fighting and I will not give up. A war is going on for my heart. But God won the battle and even when I cant see it I know that I am loved and I am victorious. I will overcome this! TAKE THAT SATAN! So yes, I deserve better than Mr. Fake boy who still loves his x. It isnt about me. It isnt about what was wrong with me. It was about him, him and his stupid issues. So yes, i will talk to him. I will let him see my beautiful face and he can just look and see all that he will be missing- a beautiful heart. Charm is decieving and beauty is fleeting but I love the Lord and my Husband loves that about me and I love Him and He is all that I want my heart to want.
I dont have to be perfect. I am beautiful and unique and He is captivated by me and He loves to hear my voice. It is sweet to His ears and He thinks my face is lovely...and He thinks I am lovely. He calls me His Beloved and I call Him my Husband. He has my name engraved on His palms and I have His name engraved on my heart. Each day is numbered that we have together and He finds each one to be worth the cost of His life. I am priceless to Him and He would give the world for me. He comforts me, and protects me, and cherishes me. He fights for my innocense and He fights for my body. He raises up truth as He guards my heart.His lips are covered with grace and love and He speaks life to my very soul. He is the man of my dreams and I am the apple of His eye. He finds me beautiful and changes my ashes into even more beauty. He crowns me as His bride and I crown Him as the king of my heart.
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| just another day. (2) |
| by alisha on August 28th, 2008 @ 7:45pm |
Today is Thursday.
I didn't go to school today.
I was sick :/
Really though. I thew up all
last night..
not pretty.
Right now I
meh favorite place in the world.
Mama HillyBeans.
I love it here.
Just got a Tanner Banner.
My favorite drink.
[:hehe.
This weekend.
I'm hoping its fun.
I'm sure it wil be though.
As always.
Let's talk.
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| The pretend her (2) |
| by woesofaheart on August 28th, 2008 @ 7:25pm |
I dont feel the same. I just want to be that girl that finally catches some guys eye. Why cant I catch his eye and keep it? Why wasnt I enough to get him over her? I hate it. I hate that I wasnt enough. He wasnt over her. He probably never will be. I guess that is something that I have to get over. Its stupid because I dont want to be with him. But the fact that he wasnt over her and that right after we broke up, he was hanging out with her again. I wish he could see me the way I really am. I am not stupid. I am not worthless the way you made me feel. I am me and although even I question it at times. I am unique and special and the man that I end up with will be lucky to have me and he will love me.
And him, he will realize someday how he shouldnt held onto me so loosely. He tells me in an IM that he will help me with some stuf I have to do this weekend. That he would have kept his word and gave me what he said he would. He tells me he to call and let me know when he will get to see my beautiful face. Well, obviously it wasnt all that beautiful to him...because he was too busy looking at someone elses lovely face. Yea, so what do I do with that? He isnt over her. I dont want him anyway...so why does it hurt like hell? I dont know what I just ache inside knowing that he still wants her. That he wanted her when he was with me. I wonder if when he looked in my eyes if he was wishing I was her. If when he kissed me he wished it was more like when she kissed him. If when he said I love you he was still thinking of her. I was the pretend version of her and that is something that will kill me inside...how do I get over that?
WHY? why me? Why did I have to be the pretend her? How was I so dumb to think that he was really over her. If he loved me like he claimed it would have lasted more than it did. I cant wrap my mind around how bad this hurts. Why does it even hurt? I know he isnt what I want. Why then when he IMs me does it all rush back? Why then do I miss him? I think I just hate being alone. I just want to be with someone who will love me. He didnt cherish me. He hurt me...but when he says that he wants to see my beautiful face this weekend...yea, its a line, but i melt. I wish that I wasnt that pretend girl that I know I am. I just wish i could someday be more. Not even to him, but to the right one.
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| My Future (5) |
| by myhandsrsandy on August 28th, 2008 @ 5:39pm |
I’ve been moping around the past couple of days. I’ve been sitting here thinking about what can I do to stop feeling hurt? I need to get over a couple aspects of my past, and I want to start now. So I’ve decided, the only way to do this is move forward. I’m making some major decisions right now in hopes of becoming a better person, gain new experiences, and move on with my head held up high, not my heart sunk in.
Therefore, I’ve just began to apply to an internship in Washington D.C this summer. I would be working in the Smithsonian for the Native American Center. I see this as exciting and new because there’s so much history over on the East Coast, and I’ve really been interested in finding out more about my Native American heritage. This opportunity sounds amazing to me, and I would absolutely love to grow during the 10 week internship. To me this sounds like the perfect experience to grow and learn more about myself, and use all my knowledge towards my history major.
I’ve also decided that I want to study abroad in France this next fall. I’ve been wanting to do this since the 4th grade. I always feel like I make such great plans for myself in the future, and yet I never do them. I also feel like this could be my only opportunity to ever go over seas. So I might as well take it, right? Well in France I would be paying just as much, going to school, which still applies to the CSU school system. Just think of all the amazing experiences and new people I could encounter and befriend. I am looking for a fresh start. I need to develop into myself again. I am focused, driven, and I want it.
I really look up to my sister Alinna for being so spontaneous like that. I would love to have lived through what she has, and hopefully I’m able to do so with at least one of these opportunities I am looking into.
The future scares me. I’m thinking about what I’m doing with my life. It scares me that I’m not going to end up with my high school sweetheart, or that my best friend and I might never talk again. The one that seriously scares me is where I’m going to live when I’m older. I would love to pursue my career goal of teaching, and as of now, that can take me anywhere. I want to go to the East Coast and explore life over there. I want to go everywhere. I want to be the awesome lady with a motor home and just go around everywhere. I cannot stay here anymore. After college I need to do some discovering.
Right now I’m going through some odd rough times, but I feel semi okay with it. I know that I’ll live through it, and become a better person through it all. Right now I just need to get there. I’m single right now, and in a way, I know this is right for me right now. I’m going through a huge transition period, and I need to do it alone. Yet I know that I’m missing out on a really great guy who cares so much about me. So you tell me if I’m really gaining anything from it.
One thing that has been in the back of my mind is feeling so insecure and unstable. I had such a stable relationship for so long, then it all fell to pieces. That’s okay, I’m making peace with that right now. Since then though, I’ve had 2 other relationships that weren’t so stable. Maybe that’s why I distanced myself? I need something stable, or nothing at all. Seems hypocritical in a way since I want to go everywhere, but I think knowing that I have those goals makes me feel stable.
Things are going to turn around for me. I’ve been hurt, and I’ve done my fair share of hurting. It’s not fair to you Tyler that your happy and I can’t seem to get over us right now. Kirk, I guess we weren’t fair to each other, but we’re okay, and that’s okay. And you Jeremy, it is most definitely not fair to you. I cannot commit to you, and I know that you want me to so badly. But I just can’t. You are so amazing and like I’ve said a million times before, you have a really big heart. There’s room for you in my heart, and I hope there’s room for me in yours. I know your hurting, and you might be for a while, but I’m just being honest, and giving you what you deserve. You don’t deserve what I’ve been putting you through, and that’s the truth. You are better then this, you know it.
If you have never seen Into The Wild, you need to pronto. He’s my hero.
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| So it was going well. (9) |
| by andrewkeith on August 28th, 2008 @ 5:30pm |
Then she had doubts, I felt like I couldn't trust her, and I broke up with her; to sum it all up.
Now I'm single again. But this time, I'll be more assertive.
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| Self Improvement is masturbation.. (24) |
| by iampoison on August 28th, 2008 @ 4:49pm |
I am in love with myself right now. Truly there is probably something wrong with me right now. I'm just sitting here waiting for Jordan to get off work and bring Shila home also. My life is spiraling upward as of today I feel brand new. I feel more than good enough because I am enough. Did you ever get the feelings back that you thought completely vanished? Well this is the moment where I found myself and in that I love the truth. I'll probably be really high later-- she's getting a half. I know I said I would stop, but if I'm not spending MY money on it.. why should I care? Pot is not addicting, it's more or so the feeling that captivates those who let it. I never considered 'weed' to be a drug, just a mood alternator. I love the different opinions on this subject, negative or positive..Let Me KNOW. I wish these new features on sitDiary had a spellcheck because before when I'd enter my post Firefox would just fix everything all up for me so I didn't appear to be stoo-pid. Well, sitDiary, I'm off. Leave me Comments. Sex me Up-- Tell Me Something New and iMpRoVeD-- Something ..
Melissa<3
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| All you need is (10) |
| by compactdisc on August 28th, 2008 @ 4:39pm |
I lust and I obsess and I desire and I need and I want and I crave and I plead.
but do not know how to love.
scribbled on a piece of a paper in front of him because the confession was too heavy to escape my mouth.
C: you don't need a bipolar love. Because this is what I am; manic and unsure. I don't trust my own emotions.
R: I don't doubt myself and I am sure of you. If you don't know, I will be there while you figure it out. While you grow the confidence to trust yourself. I will be there with you and I am not letting you go. until you are a hundred percent sure that you do not love me.
I am feeling so strong. So dependent. It has always been part of my routine to check my horoscope at the beginning of every day. And only today did I realize what a ridiculous habit it is. I am not naive, and I never believed anything it had to say, but it might have had the slightest subconscious influence on what I thought about my day. I was supposed to have an awful day. Instead, everything went so smoothly. Every song I heard played at the appropriate time, all was in place, everything I said was right. Everything he said was perfect. Walking down St Catherines, the sunlight yelled, the traffic was blinding, but I was safe.
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| 491 (4) |
| by wednesday on August 28th, 2008 @ 4:16pm |
"Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time
Its something unpredictable
But in the end its right
I hope you had the time of your life"
Patience, my dear.
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| ~*181 (13) |
| by ix3brighteyes on August 28th, 2008 @ 4:12pm |
College = Sleep deprivation
I swear I haven't gone to sleep before 3am for the past 5 days. Damn people coming over and playing my Viva Pinata till 2am.
Naps; life's best invention.
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| For Rachael (4) |
| by bloodytears on August 28th, 2008 @ 3:42pm |
There once was a girl named Rach, she was awesome and fucked up, as we all are. Her problems were like mine, but she turned to cocaine, and no-one really knows what happened to her, but i miss her sense of humour, and the way she laughed off everything. So dear dear rach, don't be sad anymore, wherever you are, if it isn't too late just hold on, because you can do it, you can rise above all the chaos. I love you even if we've never met. I hope you are okay. I hope you feel loved by me. I love you rach.
[suicidalscars]♥
--------------------------------------EDIT------------------------------------------
I've been thinking of rach lately, it makes me sad but then again it also makes me smile.
I've been thinking of writing a book of poems. It starts with--Hey kill yourself and ends with a few more scars--the first poem in line.
One by one I hear them agonize over me, I feel them tell themselves that what happened was all their fault. In a sense I agree. if they would have payed me more mind maybe it wouldn't have happened, I don't remember most of it, well--any of it even. but there were signs and i gave them fare warning.
It started in grade 9. in geography class. I said something about one of the classmates, and instantly I was popular, I was someone, everyone laughed at my jokes, Then something went wrong, and thus ended my reign of terror as the popularity queen. I didn't really mind it though, they were bitches anyway. Then I met HER.
She was a NIGHTMARE always callous, and so uncouth, a rebel with a cause, and i gravitated towards her, although it seemed she had to work for me;not like she made other friends it was so esy for her, except I made her work and she liked the challenge.
We were the epitomy of Bonnie and Clyde, except her love for me (in that way) was unrequited--to a point, i can't say that I wan't curious to a point. I enjoyed all the extra attention and that's when it all came crumbling down. I became wreckless and very very angry at the world. I started with pot, and graduated to ecstacy and olde english. I wasn't a junkie, i was never hooked or anything but I did whatever i could get in excess, I took uppers and downers ie: oxycocet, prozac, perkocet, and some various anti-depressants chased down with cheap beer. Each day was a new excuse to drink and do drugs, I picked up smoking, and I and HER had some adventures let me tell you.
I was a tease I dressed super-slutty but never did much more than kiss. I'd get them to buy me cigarettes or beer or even to pickup for me, and the payment I would make-out with them for like 10 minutes and when they were at bursting point, i'd say kay thanks bye. and get into even more trouble.
I loved all the attention from guys so i led them on, I know it's not right at this stage in my life, but at the time, I was attention starved and I wanted to be told of all the nasty things they wanted me to do to them, then i'd make some excuse to leave early and dissapear--vanish from their lives.
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| (N/Y) Meh. (8) |
| by laura on August 28th, 2008 @ 3:38pm |
Wahey Ana Gets Her Internet Tomorrow.
Meh I Hate Him But I Really Don't.Yeah That's Right. Keep Running Boo Boo. Bug. x
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| Please forgive me (9) |
| by hotflash on August 28th, 2008 @ 2:31pm |
Thought I'd share a song from a favorite singer of mine who I've listened to for years but until now, not a single person has known.
Please forgive me
If I act a little strange
For I know not what I do.
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say
Want to tell you just how good it feels
When you look at me that way
When you look at me that way
Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow
Moving out across the bay
Like a stone I fall into your eyes
Deep into some mystery
Deep into that mystery
I got half a mind to scream out loud
I got half a mind to die
So I won't ever have to lose you girl
Won't ever have to say goodbye
I won't ever have to lie
Won't ever have to say goodbye
Please forgive me
If I act alittle strange
For I know not what I do
It's like my head is filled with lightning girl
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
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| speakith truth (6) |
| by academyromance on August 28th, 2008 @ 2:27pm |
It's so hard to believe you when you tell me you trust me.
How could you?
I don't even trust myself...
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