I'm updating finally. My brother's wedding is this saturday. It should be nice. But that's also the day I get paid, so I'll have to figure out some way to go pick up my check between wedding stuff. Hmm....I wonder if that will work out very well. I bought new perfume that smells really really good. At first I thought "it would be nice if we could choose who likes us." but then, I decided that that wouldn't work either. Because let's say I chose a guy to like me, so he did. But he had chose some other girl to like him, and she had chose another guy and so on....it wouldn't work. It would be as complicated as it is already...maybe worse.

Camp tomorrow I don't know if I want to go or not At least I get to go with Chelsea first and then come home and meet up with everyone else for camp. So that's ok. I get to go watch a play and have ice cream. Speaking of which, I need to go call Chelsea. Hmmmm..... I wish I felt beautiful.

I really don't have many entries. And I haven't updated for a long time. Oh well. I was just hitting random and going through other diaries, and one girl is writing a story with her entries. And it was a really good story. I thought it was pretty cool. I wish I was talented in something like writing or singing or something that touches peoples lives.

It's a lot easier just having numbers for your entries. Then you don't have to think of a name. Oh well. Either way is alright. I got some sea monkeys for Christmas...and now I've set up the tank and all that. And there's TONS of them swimming around all over. He he. It's fun!!!! I like them. Even though they're tiny and you can barely see them. My poor fish seems sick. Or he's just old. I've had him for a little over three years I think. And bettas are only supposed to live for three years. But the poor thing just kinda....floats....with it's face upward towards the surface. It's still alive though. I poke it and it will try to swim....the poor thing. He was pretty.... at least I still have my younger one..

I've realized that I have a fetish for eyes. I just love eyes. They're so cool. You can like... see....with them. lol. I know that sounds weird, but there's no other way to put it. It's an awesome thing. Plus, I've never seen or met anyone with ugly eyes. Eyes are just beautiful things. All eyes are pretty in their own way I think. Some just have a pretty color, others a pretty shape, others are pretty because they're big and stand out, and some people have really expressive eyes and that makes them pretty. You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes....

Wow. I only have 14 entries on this. Sad. Anyways, I went to this site called quotationspage.com. It's fun. They have quite a few good quotes. I don't know why i've been liking quotes lately. I just have been collecting a lot of them from friends and everywhere I see them. Kinda strange. I'm already sick of morning practices. I was a long time ago. Usually at this point of the season, I'm like "oh we're almost done...how sad" But now i'm like..."yes..i'll get to sleep in!" The only thing I wont' like is that I'll probably gain weight again. And even with swimming this year, I'm bigger than I was last year. I just can't seem to get my love handles off and that little pudge on my stomach. It's not like I'm fat... just not as skinny as I would like to be I guess...

Anyways.... I hate getting really emotionally etached. I mean...it's good and all and you can really care about the person and the relationship can come to mean a lot to you. But....if...IF something happens to break that relationship or whatever you want to say... it's not as simple as with just friends. With friends, you just kinda drift apart and kinda slowly stop hanging out and that kinda stuff....well...sometimes other things can happen. But anyways, with the kinds of relationships you have with like....someone you really care about..like..ya know...like a boyfriend girlfriend kinda thing. Usually when those relationships break up, it's like.... ripped apart. If that makes sense... and that just hurts so much worse. I'm always so scared of that. And I dont know why I keep getting into relationships.... They can be good and all but....there's just that chance of getting hurt so bad... It's so dumb when people ask you a stupid question then leave it anonymous!! Anyways, so to the anonymous person who left a comment on my diary, it's not because I leave comments to myself it's because I was trying something with a comment picture on my other diary and I was trying to see if it was working...

I can play like....one song on a bass. I'm so proud of myself. He He He. I shouldn't be becasue I suck really really bad and i can only play one song but it was still really exciting. Because I actually did it and you could actually hear what it was and make out a song. So I was like...yay. And I learned just a little bit on the drums. But I suck at that worse than I suck at the bass. I really want to learn how to play all these instruments but I don't have enough time and I especially don't have enough money. 'Cuz the instruments themselves are really expensive. And then I'm not talented or good enough or whatever to just make up or think of stuff to play and so I would have to have lessons to actually know what I was doing somewhat and then maybe I could get some tabs or learn some other songs but I doubt I woudl even be good enough then. So ya know. It's so sad. But I can't really pay that much money because I need money for clothes and a car and gas and insurance and all that annoying stuff you have to get and go through with growing up. I dont' want to grow up. It sounds no fun. You have to have a job and pay bills and get married and have kids then get more bills then have to make more moeny and work more to pay the extra bills. And yeah, I'm sure you could be happy, but sometimes it just doesn't sound that appealing to me....

I hate makeup. I hate the fact that I look so much different and so much better with it on. I hate the fact that I feel so much better about myself with it on. I hate the fact that I get so many more compliments with it on. I wish I could just be naturally beautiful and not need makeup. But now I've been wearing it so long, I just think I look so much better with it. It sucks the big one!

I made cookies....they were really good...and I smell good...go me!

Ok, this is pissing me off. I was gonna go get my driver's license today...and I was so excited!! Because my mom said I was close enough to my 40 hours...I mean honestly....I only need like 1 hour more of night driving....that's not very much. And I would get it coming home from work this week. And she pretty much told me that i COULD get it TODAY!!!!!! But then she came down here and was all "your dad thinks you should wait to get all your hours in". WHAT THE HELL?! It's close enough!!!! I've been waiting for like two months!! I mean, yeah, I'm the one that took summer driver's ed!! But still!!! It's pissing me off!!! One hour isn't that much!! And I want to go get it NOW!!! stupid father......it's so annoying!! He's too protective and stupid about stuff like this. NO ONE gets all of their 40 hours in!!! They get too bored and it takes too much time...like....40 hours or something. lol. That's why the stupid law should have left it at 30....then people wouldn't get so annoyed and bored and ready to go get their license and they might get all of their hours in!!! Ok, he's still pissing me off!! I mean honestly, I could go get my license today and then later tonight I could drive for the hour I don't have....and he just keeps saying "no that won't work..we're not gonna cheat!" Well HELLO!!! THAT'S NOT CHEATING!!!! I would be with my parents and it would be like....five hours after i got a stupid peice of paper license...it wouldn't even be the final one... he just won't see reason...it's so annoying!!!! How is that dishonest to go get your license so you wont' have to wait anymore and keep making your parents wait because you dont' know exactly when you're gonna get off work?! I'd be getting ALL of my hours in!!!!!! it's so stupid!

I haven't updated in a while. Hmmm...oh well. So I finally got some chucks!! and my pinstriped pants!! i was so excited!! yay!! And I got a cute snoopy shirt! And another pair of pants and a few more shirts...and now...I'm broke. It's so sad. lol. So now i need to wait until my next paycheck to even go school shopping again. This is the only thing I like about going back to school.....getting new stuff

People are weird. K, so there was this lady that was ordering while i was on drive through. And she kept pausing and she wasn't really talking clear so I read her order back to her just to make sure i got it right and she was like "yeah sure" and so I gave her the total and everything and then she drove up to the thir window where I was to pick it up and she was talking on the phone! It was annoying!!! And then she just kept talking and stuff when I told her the total and everything. yeah. 'cuz she could at least tell that person to hold on long enough to order and pay for food at McDonald's. some people are so sad! And I hate it when you read the order back to them and they're like "yeah, that's right" and then when they get their food, they come back and act all disgusted and say that you got the order wrong and all. It's so dumb. And then there was this little kid that came up and ordered a cone, and I told him it was .85. And he was all "well, i can't pay you for it" I mean really, either people are just raising a bunch of dishonest little shits or they really are that dumb and don't realize you need to pay. He wasn't like 4, so I'm sure he knew that you had to pay. So I just gave him a kid cone because those are free for little kids....demon children

It won't let me upload a cool picture for my background and it's pissing me off!!! I don't know why it wont let me. I have my driving test next wednesday...kinda scary. Like two of my friends have gotten in a wreck in the past two days. It's so scary. That's one thing that I'm really afraid of about driving. That I'll get in some horrible crash and die or get hurt or hurt or kill someone else. It's so scary. I like driving but some people drive so psycho you dont' even wanna go out on the road. I try to be a safe driver.... but there's so many things to remember I'm afraid I'll forget something and something terrible will happen. I'm always so scared that my family or friends will get hurt in a car crash too....

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I just read that this site might shut down. That is so sad!!! I love this site! I wish it could stay. It's kinda addicting! i really like it. lol. So yeah. Fresca is really good. I like it a lot. So, I really have nothing to write. None of my friends know about this diary...but that could be a good thing...you never know. I miss Dan. It's sad. 'Cuz I always talk to him like every day and now I can't. I like him! yay! But I like Jason too! It's confusing!! I hate it! I've tried to figure it out...but it doesn't work too well....i dont' know what I'm going to do... I like this diary a lot better than my other one...the way it looks I mean. But I have nothing to write on this one because it all goes on the other one!

i got a blob!! yay!

I don't know how to fix my diary!! Like, with the colors and what not......I can't find anything that I really really like. Does anyone have any suggestions for me???

HELLO EVERYONE!