I havent wrote in a while........ Dont really have much to say to be honest but ill try and fill u in. Its now easter holidays! Not that excited tho coz i kno i rlly need to do work this holiday and revise hard as GCSE's are getting closer and i want to do well! Yesterday was Ryans cousins 6th birthday party, it was so good! i kno that sound wrong but she had a bouncy castle slide thing but when all the kids went home all the adults went on it in the rain and got drenched!! It was soo funny tho coz we just started throwing people down the slide, and some people ended up in the mud!was a laugh. Other than that not rlly much else. Oh except i want to kill a certain person for threatening Ryan hes gonna kill him - yeh bring it on mate ill fuckin stick a hook up ur ass and twist it till ur guts fall out, fuckin homosexual jew. *Why Cant You Just Leave It And Get Over It* ta-ta xXx

One word - MEN! Im so pissed off right now, why do men have to be the most difficult creature to understand in this world. Ryan is just being such a bitch just lately, fair enough he has his own problems at the moment that i kno he finds hard to cope with but why does he have to take it out on me, i mean why not talk to me or cry or scream or shout but not talk to me like a peice of shit and making me feel like he doesnt love me or wanna be with me anymore. He just keeps being nasty to me and acting like im nothing to him and that hurts. i dont mean to be selfish but i have my own problems at the moment that i need to focus on getting out the way. My dad died a year yesterday and tbh im not coping good...at all. so how does he expect me to cope with my problems as well as his *Sigh - coz lifes good* xXx

Word up! Havent wrote in while so i thought id pop by.... I had a really good birthday! was very good and had a well good party except we went all the way to nottingham and it was packed so we went bowling lol.... so we went all the way to nottingham just to go bowling lol! but oh well was still a laugh :D Im feelin a lil confused about something dont reallywant to say what but lets put it this way, why would u leave someone who uve been with for more than 25 years and is the nicest person in the world.... why would ya! WHY? sigh.... Havent really got much to say but thought it was time to update.. other than I LOVE KANYE WEST! lol that is all.... * I Hate To See You Hurt, But You Wont Tell Me . . . . I Love You *

I forgot to say its my birthday in 11 days!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! :D:D

The heating in my house is broke - so its fucking freezing! End of half term :( its been rlly good this week, i havent actually done much but its just been good. I got to spend a lot of time with Ryan - maybe too much but i just hate being away from him,sounds stupid i kno. Im not a big fan of valentines day but this year it was just sooo nice :D i woke up to find Ryan lying next to me just staring at me and we just layed in bed holding each other - nothin unusual i kno but i shall neva forget it, Then we got up and went ice skating which was rlly good fun except ryan pushed me ova and i now have a huge bruise! how romantic ay? The rest of the week i didnt doo much. Last night Ryan had a lil shindig which was funny as. And as per usual our Cesk got hammered within 2 hours of being there and and again i held her hair while she threw up in the toilet. lol bless u! wouldnt have her any other way tho coz its funny to watch her hammered! So yeh, back to school tomo :( i really dont wanna go - just one more week please!!! * I Want To Spend My Life With You. * * I Hope You Dont Mind That I Put Down In Words, How Wonderful Life Is Now Your In The World. * xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ah yes the time of year full of love and happiness.....yeh right Ok so valentines day is near and fair enough its the right time to show people how much u care for them but dont u think its all a bit commercial? It doesnt realy make it all that special when u kno everyone else is being all lovey dovey the same as u. Anyway - end of another week and weekend, not a bad week really just not a very interesting one. Same kind of weekend aswell, slept at Ryans on friday night and saw his grandmas on saturday as always( dont ask ) then today i have been quite busy, and im actually quite proud of myself. I have cleaned and tidyed my room - which isnt often i do that lol, i have washed dried and ironed two loads of dirty clothes AND hung them all up and put away, then i cleaned the kitchen and unstacked and restacked the dishwasher and then for some strange weird twisted reason i tidyed my sisters bedroom for her - WHY? i dont kno!! actualy yes i do kno why its because im a fuckin brilliant sister :D Got this week off - half term wooo but tomo im goin in to school by choice! :O to do some art work and use all the school paint and glue instead of mine hehe CHEAP CHEAP! Then tuesday im goin nottingham to go ice skatin and then goin for a meal and the rest of the week i have no idea what im doing. But YEAH.......YEAH! - sorry randomness from a video called "tractor boy" its so funny download it! *You only live once* tarar for now xXx

Yes thats right im thirsty lol Well this weekend was pretty good nothing over the top but it was good. Friday night i slept at Ryans house like i normally do on a friday but yeh that was good. I love waking up in the mornin and there he is normally lying on top of me tryin to wake me up lol although gizmo (his dog) did wake me up at 8:30 on a saturday mornin by jumping on my bed and sniffing my face :| lol and then we just lay in bed till about 12 :D Then saturday night cesca had ppl round hers although emma and jono decided they didnt want to come (their loss), but me heidi cesk and clare still had a good time. oh yeh and alex. We were all kinda tipsy including me so i decided to go sit on the bonnet of alexs car and then hug it lol then i decided i wanted to kiss ryans car round the corner but i couldnt get to it coz his brothers car was in the way so i kissed that instead - how random do u get?... Then me clare and cesk decided we wanted to sneak out the house at bout half 1 in the mornin and go buy chocolate and pringles! - even more random. So yeh we were walking round braunstone in the dark which just screamed to me * 3 girls out alone - RAPE RAPE RAPE * lol And so today ive done fuck all and just had a nice hot shower. Good Weekend Ive rambled alot... * Its Nearly A Year But I Still Miss You Daddy * xXxXxXxXx

I just seem to be all smiley just lately :D i love it! Well school is pretty normal, long and dull as always.I cant wait to get out of there and go to college where i can do my own thing and be independant like wearing ur own clothes and stuff, just little things like that will make me feel good :D I feel like im always looking forward to something as if im waiting for something to happen just lately, dont know why, i think its coz ive always had something to look forward to or ive got a goal i have to meet- its weird to explain. Maybe its coz i dont have any exams coming up or anything. *He smiles, I shudder* ta-ta xXx

I decided to delete all my entrys because theyre all really old and i thought hey why not have a fresh start :D So.... Last year of Shitty Beaumont Leys Secondary School, woo. College FTW! Gateway college should be rlly good and plus my bestest fwend is goin there too :D Saturday cesk is havin ppl round hers and we gonna play Buz! woo lol im quite lookin forward to that, should be all good!!! * He tells me he loves me ^^ * xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx