Understanding is an emotion I lack at the moment. Have I been wrong all along? You're the only reason I live in fear. Don't think it's alright when I'm quietly losing myself behind the smiles I so expertly muster. But the corners of my mouth can't seem to find their way up anymore. In silence I wait for reprieve. It's not as though I'm jealous. No, I'm stoicly terrified of the smiles and eyelashes and hand gestures. You whisper sweetly: "It's all in your head." But I know the carnal instincts you harbor just below your heart. Fresh meat translates to fresh female pharamones. It's all in your head. I'm past all of this. I know (don't I?) this won't last forever. My fragile female ego is but a prototype at the moment. Impressionable as they come. But I know, while waiting for my phone to vibrate tentatively on my nightstand, that this is far from an ending.