i can never live up to her standards. im always disapointing her. he gets to go everywhere and do nothing. i have to do everything and go to one place a month. i know im the only girl but its still bull shit. not fair. i hate him. ill never be good enough for her no matter what i do. on another note im loving my new friends. i still love my old ones to but i love this new fast change of pace and being able to know whats going on and being envolved and busy. i love my new best friend. he is so awesome and i love helping him out with his problems. i love being busy all the time. im loving my new life. i love how ive changed. i know that some people hate it but im happy and to me right now thats all i really care about. for once im really happy and i feel older. im finally growing up thanks you guys :D and on another note she got laid off. we are broke poor. thats about it. - natalie xoxo - oh and one more thing i miss the fuck out of morgan, i wish patty would call me and let me see her. she is 5 now. im sure she hasnt gotten so big. she probably doesnt remember me, her own aunt. its been more than a year. i dont think i will ever see her again. i miss you morgan. i wish i could see you again.