That doesn't seem to capture it. Mercy. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's what I'm looking for. I don't know. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the past. All the things that I've done. Some of it makes me proud. Some, not so much. I'm not quite sure how to describe the feeling when I think about the other ones. It's like, everytime I lose someone, there's a hole left behind. And until something else fills that empty space, it'll hurt everytime you go there. I'm more okay with some things than I ever thought I'd be. It doesn't hurt to think about Ryan anymore. I guess that's one hole filled in. Still, there are others. Gonna need more dirt. If only it were that easy.