One day I will wake up and my whole life as I know it will just have been a nightmare that is over and I will pick up again where I left off before I fell asleep, before I ruined my life.

My get to know me project is failing. I fail most endeavors, though I am smarter than you could imagine. I am just a victim of lethargy, I am stuck in my realm of black veins and the beauty within the evil. I am one or the other. I am never what I seem, I am only a distracted little boy who thinks he can be a man. I am sin. I am forgiveness. I am wrong and love and fake. I create feeling, and numbness. I just want to be who I was before this. The saga goes on, the legend never dies, but I will. I will die just as chivelry has, just as socrates, and the dali llama. I'm human. I'm living and lifeless. I'm an addict, that's all I can seem to be.

High and far and beyond descent I'm gone without words and ready again to feel the lament. Women are what my heart knows best; my body, my soul, they are my defense. Desolation I deserve, degredation is my cure. Here in this pool of sorrow wept I'm leaving now to follow it. What it is I am not sure, where to go? It's all a blur. My mistakes, hollow and pure; My tracks like mapping, so demure.

I abuse heroin. I suck it up. I hate it, boy do I love it. It has destroyed everything I was supposed to become and it has created an entirely new self within the old. I cringe at the thought of what my future holds. I hate the things I will do to satisfy my addiction. I am a liar. I am a cheater, a complete snake. This drug defines me in ways words cannot.