Sometimes I feel like things are shit. I can see myself being happy doing just about anything but yet nothing seems to fit I can't find my nitch or whatever. What do I do then? I'm out in the hills for a few weeks and I am loving it. I love driving these roads, I love the kicked back atmosphere the attitude of no one's in a hurry. But I also love the fast paces high production envirionment of the city where you have markable progress on a moment by moment basis. But then I love the farm life as well when you work out in the country getting dirty and solving problems watching things grow. I like being in walking distance of where I have to go- but I like to comute as well. I guess I like to do everything which you wouldn't think was a bad thing but it is because I don't know what I want most! Oh man and it is even worse when it comes to guys, I don't even have a type anymore I don't know what I'm looking for! Back at school I had my eye on this real "catch" of a guy. He would be my dads dream for me. He's attractive and layed back, he has a head for business and his priorities in order. He knows how to make connections and even better he knows how to use them. He makes me laugh and he makes me comfortable. Great guy, really he is. So ok, I get out here and who do I meet? A tall dark sexy construction guy who loves rock almost as much as he loves his tatoos... yeah he startled me a little at first- I'm not used to that kind but as soon as he smiled at me I had no fears. He is a real sweetheart. Last summer it was a wrangler who may or may not have been in complete control of his mental faculties [he wouldn't have known what that meant] before that it was a Bible geek who did devotions in greek six two and drove a red sports car. Before him it was a computer geek turned National Guard with a quick wit and the most addicting arms ever, befor him it was an MP who soon married my good friend, before him for the longest time it was an artist- a white rasta with emrald eyes and an imagination that entertained me for hours. the only thing these guys have in comon is they make me laugh and a few of them are geeks. They all make me laugh. I don't know what I want.