Cody called me, were hanging out tonight. a little nervous but it'll be okay haha meet and greet was fun, i can't wait for the first practice. me and logan are still hanging out and talking but as just friends. idk it's hard but it's better then nothing. were spending my birthday together we are going to an amusment park becuase that's how i want to spend my birthday a little childish i know but oh well lol. id rather spend the day with him on roller coasters then having a party with everyone and get drunk. spending the day with Logan deff. wins haha sorry i haven't updated in a while i've been sick :[

Today was alright i guess. i didn't talk to Logan at all, this was the first day i haven't talked to him at all in over 3 months. i realized i'm doing fine without him. A kid that i had a major crush on in 7th grade, and haven't talked to all school year came up to me and said we needed to hangout and get to know eachother again. He gave me his new cell number and stuff. but of course i'm to pussy to call him :[ and i hate talking on the phone. i have his screen name but he's hardly ever on. Meet and Greet is tomorrow. gahhh i can't wait for practice. My birthdays coming soon ugh can't say i'm to excited about that =

haha, 007 James Bond :P i'm in a better mood now haha. last night was fun i went and hung out with Joshy i haven't done that in a while.

Okay so my friday/friday night was completely HORRIBLE. School was gay, my best friend wasn't there and it was dumbbbb. i left during last pd and went to P&C with Anya, we ran into my cousin(Nikki) and that's where it began to turn into a bad day. my cousin told me she wanted me to meet her boyfriends cousin because she thinks we'd be perfect together.. I agreed to meet the kid. I got home and my mom was crying really bad, i asked what was wrong and she said my cousin(Jen) died, i cryed. Nikki picked me up when she got out of work and we were on our way to stay at her boyfriends house for the night when she got a flat tire. Her dad made us sit there for an hour before he decided to come and try to fix it well he couldn't she didn't have the lock wrench for the spare tire. So we had to call her boyfriend to come and get us, he did we went to burger king and got food, they messed up our order really bad and everything. oh and the kid she wanted to hook me up with is soooo annoying and self centered and thinks he's the shit, when he's not good looking at all, very chubby and not to mention a whore. We went to the mall and watched Iron Man, it was an alright movie but i wasn't in the mood to watch it at all... I miss Logan, i missed him the whole night. I want to talk to him so bad, but he's at work. it's just been a bad week, i need logan :[

Logan broke up with me. it was random and completely unexpected. and not to mention he did it in a text message. Me Him Micah and Ant all went out to eat as planned everything was perfect. Me and Logan came back here and watched Stomp the Yard, still everything was going perfect. The movie got over and he made a comment about how he hates that we live like 40min away from eachother and he hates missing me, i said yeah i know what you mean. Then he left before my step dad got home (they still haven't met...now they never will) Then just randomly he started texting me this is how it went; Him= i'm not sure if i can be with someone i can't see as much as i'd like to Me= what are you saying Him= i just don't want to be in a relationship right now Me= why? Him= i can't handle it Me= if it's over just say it's over Him= it's over i'm sorry don't be mad at me Me= be mad at you for what? breaking up with me 1 day before our one month, now why would that piss me off Him= i knew you'd get mad Me= mad no, upset yeah Him= i'm sorry i'm going to bed i'll text you in the morning honestly, what am i supposed to think? he broke up with me a day before our one month after a double date with my best friends which one of them is his really good friend how am i going to explain this one to them. What's so wrong with me?

bahaha okay so today was DRAMA filled baddd. but it was a good day it was fun. the dentist was a complete disaser. Logan's coming over tomorrow when i get out of school and were going out to eat and watching movies. he sliced his thumb today at work and got 6 stiches, i feel bad but damn am i happy he can't work tomorrow. lol so how was everyone's day?

gahhh, i don't want to go to school at all. i barley slept last night i don't know why but lately i can't sleep. i'm dead tired all day but when it comes night time i can't sleep at all. Atleast i'm getting out of school early well somewhat all i'm missing is gym and last period study. i wish i had the sand mans magical dust stuff so i could sleep.

Logan's coming over some day this week for a couple hours to meet Joe. i'm not sure if it's going to go well at all. lol. I have a dentist appt. tomorrow to get x-rays done to see what wisdom tooth has to come out next. Ugh i hate getting them removed. haha it hurts :[ KSA meet and greet is in 8 days hell yeah! haah i'm excited. but practice is going to take up alot of my time so that means less Logan time then i have already.. Well i'm extremely bored. i think i might go to sleep early tonight.

Okay, i have a boyfriend that i really do like alot but; My step dad would never aprove of him and it's been complete hell trying to hide Logan from him everytime Logan comes and picks me up or drops me off and lying to him about where i'm going every weekend for the past 4 weekends has been horrible. Logan lives 45min away and i do get to spend atleast one night with him a week it sucks but it's better then nothing, i just wish i could see him more. i hate being with someone i spend no time with, i'll spend more time missing him then i'll ever spend hanging out with him. And i kinda don't want to be with him = but i don't want to hurt him.. i've known him a while.. someone help :(