it felt so fucking good to sleep in until 10am this morning! Usually on thursdays i have class @ 930 but my teacher said no class today, so that means, i have one class today and its at 1230. :) Seattle is a gorgeous city in the fall. The trees are a orange-red everywhere you look. The sky is blue with random clouds floating along, yet, there is a chill in the air. I'd love to go on a walk, holding someones hand, talking, through the leave covered grounds. Its a lonely feeling being here. Even if i had friends, id still be lonely. Does that even make sense? i miss my boyfriend dearly.

I cannot stand when i am woken up by a nightmare. Seriously. I went to bed at 930 last night, which is real early for me; only to be woken up by a dream i'd rather not repeat. Im trying my hardest to shake it off, but dreams got to mean something...right? Ugh. My halloween better not be shot by this lingering question of "what if..." HAPPY HALLOWEEN. I dont have english today :) ohhhh joy! As i was walking into stores this afternoon to look at halloween costumes, i came to the conclusion, halloween is a time for girls to release their inner skank. I mean, i have my limits, i saw a gangsta girl costume that was a short like dress kind of thing, however, it was a dress and covered most of the body. It's still skanky but i mean, its nothing like other costumes out there. Lets take for example shall we, a partcular cop outfit my sister bought for $80. it was nothing more than a mini skirt, a hat, and a bra. ITS THE END OF OCTOBER PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON. no joke people. and pay $80 for plastic handcuffs and a plastic hat, i dont think so. For $80 i want some metal shit going on. Bottom line is, what do these costumes actually do? People who wear these tend to show them off at parties, WHERE, they are drinking and have a slutty time. EASY ACCESS for those males that take advantage of these girls. sick. Why not go as Eve? Its a free costume, and HEY youre naked, cut out the middle man. HAPPY HALLOWEEN x2!

Tomorrow is halloween and i have no costume and no plans set in stone. This is quite upsetting to me, being someone who LOVES halloween. :shrugs: i did however get to experience more of a halloween than i did last year. This last weekend i went to a haunted house and it made me veryyyy happy; not only did i get to go with my boyfriend, but it was turned into a double date, which actually inturn made me have a good time. I dont know what it was about it, but being around people and hanging out as group made me feel like...i actually had friends. I dont get to see different people, i dont get a joke around with different people when im here in college. I sometimes wonder where i went wrong that i dont have many friends. I have...2 friends here in Seattle. 2 friends to keep me sane, i dont see how that works. I wish it was in high school were i had MANY friends, and had fun with MANY people. Not so much the case now and days. def feel like a loner.

Okay. So i came to the conclusion im beginning to hate myspace with a burning passion. See, it was fun back in high school, but now its just getting in my fucking way. It keeps me from doing my school work and thats notttt good at alllll. My friend Michelle started one of these so i thought, heyyyy why don't i give it a try. I used to write in a diary like everyday for a year, and for some reason stopped :shrugs: i dont know. So as of October 29th im not getting on myspace. I went without myspace for 2.5/3 months at the beginning of this year, im going to try and beat that. :) i went home this weekend and had a fucking amazinggg time. Hung out with Jacob Friday night, went to a haunted house saturday, spent time with Jacob on sunday. I FUCKING LOVE THAT BOY UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. I flew back to seattle this morning on the 6am flight, so ive been up since 4am OHHHMYYYYGOSH. im going to go to bed now @ 6pm lol goodnight.