okay...so i totally just did something that i promised myself i would never do. im not going to say it cause i might get in trouble but hey. just so you know it was something i promised myself and everyone else. and i broke it. i broke the one promise that i said i would never break to my boyfriend. but i did. god im such an asshole. he told me not to feel bad. but i do. i hate myself right now. i cant even eat. i havent ate since before 1ish and its eight now. im going fucking crazy. i want to kill myself. not really but almost thats how bad i feel. god im such a horriable person. i want him to forgive me. but..he shouldnt have to. ive lied to many times before for him to just forget this one. i cant even keep my own lies straight. im just hurting everyone around me. it would be better if iwas dead.