Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." I'm not here, so say goodbye, or leave a message, and I'll reply Like Barney (the purple dinosaur): I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home. Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message. BEEP. (Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?