I'm sending out my second manuscript to Arthur A. Levine Publishing Co! Hope they dont reject this one... that would be really freakin' sweet. other than that, my life has been mundane. Mari-face put me on hold.. still on hold... am going to kill her... with love. no news from X-boy, no news from any boy, which is actually good. I'm married to my characters and I have a lot of characters. A real boy would make them jealous. that was weird. Mari wanted me to post something because I forgot I had a sit diary again. So here it is. To all you people who read this, sorry if I scare you. tze

I'm sitting here wondering why writer's block is such a fantastic and surprising occurance every single time it happens. i am also wondering whether or not i am secretly a robot, because I saw P.S. I Love You, and didnt shed a tear. I felt completely inhuman sitting next to my friend, who was bawling her eyes onto the seat in front of us like a good little flesh-toid. what is up with this? Could it be that the two times I thought I was in love where complete fabrications of my mind? It is possible, more than possible, probable. right now, I'm going to decide to ignore my eating disorder and go to sleep rather than excersize at this ungodly hour. Every time I need to make the decision is as hard as the time before if not more. I need to learn to just let go, even though I've never wanted to fold into myself more. Please.

today, my fruity cheerios and I will own the universe. how does that make you feel?

My back hurts. I broke my driver's side mirror off trying to back into the garage apex of doom, and I have a head ache.. this is silly. These occurances are non-important and seem to be very frivolous to even type, but I am told that I must update, and these are the sequences of my life. Today is going to be extra-special wonderful for a couple of reasons. I get to spend it with llama and sunshine- I'm going to go see the new Katie Heigl movie, and I have a woman crush on her x ten, we're going to the olive garden for soup, salad and bread-sticks, and they shall be delicious. I am very complacent about coming to eighteen, and the people I shared it with. I didnt know if it would be anything but a day, but it was a day of reunions, of moving on, and of realizing that the world is enormous, and there is no limit to the potential. I dont need. I want, but dont need. this knowledge allows a degree of self-separation. anyway. llama and sunshine will be here soon to pick me up, and I am very excited. I want to get out of the oppression of this house just for a few hours, and live a little.. maybe go to borders and buy some books I dont need but want, or something. this has been an update of my life as I see it. (cicero, we didnt end up going to cloverfeild! llama has vertigo, and it was advised she not see it. i hope to venture there sometime, though, it sounds yummy.)

At intercoast... sitting at a computer... waiting for Mariska to be done with mopping! We're going to go grocery shopping, then home to watch movies and eat, and then we're going to see cloverfield, and then I'm sleeping over for the second night in a row, and then I'm going to church with them, and then she's going to bring me home and go see Mowgli. This is going to be the best weekend of my senior year. Mariska thinks I dont like doing things for her, but when she reads this I hope it sinks in that I would jump in front of a bus for her, so cleaning a few bathrooms really isnt an issue. This weekend is going to be mint, nough said.

My display age is 18, but really there is five days until my birthday. I'm just a time saver, and computer illiterate, so I didnt want to have to worry about changing it. So 18 is coming... coming... coming... thirsting for my blood! I want it to come, honestly, but ever since I broke up with my boyfriend last year, 18 doesnt seem to mean very much anymore. That might not mean a lot to anyone, but it does to me. It meant that we could legally be together, walk down the street, go to the mall, and not be worried. He wasnt thirty or anything, but he wasnt a teenager anymore. So I wanted 18. Now I want 18 to be able to say I am an adult, and nothing else. So 18 is coming... coming... coming... and I am waiting patiently.

When my friends and I were fourteen, we had sitdiaries. We had them, obsessed over them, cherished them.. and then myspace came on the scene and we literally forgot them. I probably have my first ever sitdiary still wafting around on here somewhere.. I think this new one will be much improved.