last night me + my friends went down to the city and walked around the main square, looking at all the decorations and freakshows going on. they had a giant dollhouse set up with furniture and all. i wanted to go inside and maybe sit on the pretty armchair maybe stay and live in the perfect dollhouse maybe be frozen in this weird timewarp of a building but there was a red velvet rope around the house that stopped me. a fucking red velvet rope. then we went to a bar and sat around drinking beer, then went to a fastfood place and ate. i came home so tired and dazed clutching a large bag filled with candy that i will probably never eat but it was so nice to pretend that this bag was all i needed for the moment to be happy. gummy bears gummy snakes gummy hearts + sherbet covered winegums that contaminate the other candy with sugar crystals. i came home so tired and dazed holding tight onto my happybag of candy that i will never finish and i came home so filled with regrets. and i came home still feeling the kisses that never got to my lips because i didn't let them.