Well i have to say i am feeling a million bucks right now, im sat hear listening to ill nino playing doom online kicking peoples asses from all over the world and then after playing on my new guitar, its so fucking sexy, ill try and get a pic up here soon but i got to get my new camera to work, damn, i just want to start doing something with my band, something cool, so we are going to hopefully get this other guitarist in and he is all trained in classical which will be very interesting because i have never really seen a person play a classical guitar or even that style. cant wait. he is gona feel gelous though when he sees my new baby. and kyle if your reading this i know what your thinking "why doesnt he just shut the fuck up about his guitar" lol, dont worry that day will come lol bYe bYe

ok so this is the 4 day i think after having my toncils out and i feel like shit, they have put me on these painkillers that make me feel like im about to faint, and im shaking all the time aswell so its not good, but its all going to be worth it in the end i hope, got my guitar back from the shop and it sounds amazing (thats for pink and razz) looking forward to when i can go back to practising again, i cant even pick up my guitar at the moment, its like fucking torture :(

Cards There comes a point in anyones life when they make a big decision and they have to deal with it, it then after deals the cards to which you must play, you sometimes lose the hand or you win the pot, things never seem the same after your decision, sometimes you feel like the king anf the next a loly maggot, you just gotta play your cards. What to do, thoughts going at a hundred miles an hour with you strapped to the hood. What to do, scars constantly looking you in the face and telling you, "you made the right decion", but how can you trust your scars. What to do, sitting here feeling so alone when people are only a stones throw away. You think to yourself, do i call my hand or do i bluff and hope someone falls for it, bluffing can only get yourself so far in life, at points bluffing is the only thing you can do to stop yourself from sleeping forever. So far away from the end of the game, but you still think all the way through, do they know?, do they think i got the best hand?, do they know my hand is made of shit?. Voices telling you to just give in and stop this, your going to get hurt, other voices telling you to bite the bullet and put in all your chips. So many voices telling you what to do, starts to get crowded, two ways out of the voices. 1)throw in your hand and make a decision as to where to go from here. 2)bluff and make a decision to what you want to do now. MAKE THE DECISION, MAKE THE DECISION......... Only time can tell if the person has done what is right. Only time will tell...... But you must rememeber that its not the look of the man that makes him what he is, its the pressence that makes the man what he is.

So we have 3 temp names at the moment for our band and i was wondering what you people thought, what good and whats bad, these are them. Reject Rejects Laid to Rest which do you like

I am a artist, i love to paint, draw, mould etc. And i have had it up to my wits end with people saying art is pointless and is easy, i would like to see you do what i do day in and day out, seriously anyone who ses art is easy needs a slap :@

Well its been a while since i left a entry on this diary and im bored so what the hell. I have been upto alot this past few weeks, the past few days have made me very happy, i recently went to this place to visit this person and i felt like shit when i saw them, not cuase i was ill, i was purely upset by there health, but im determined not to let it get me down, so yeah anyway the past few days have been cool, i have been hanging out at a friends and we have just been playing games and having a laugh, its just cool. OO and to anyone who cares i got a new guitar and i have named him, yes him, most people make there instruments women, well i have two women so i called this one 'No Name' i like it, kinda mysterious lol. Yesterday my i felt like a rabbit caught in the head lights, someone read my diary and read my first entry and to anyone who has read it knows its a god basher entry and the person read it and they said when did you write this entry about god, i froze but then i kinda snapped myself out of it, it was wierd, i just froze and everything went blank. like when you watch a movie and it freezes (when you watch dvds) it was so wierd. Well im off again, dont know when ill be back again. :) bye

I got my new amp today and it sounds awesome, i cant wait to let kyle and lloyd see it its a rocking amp, i am going to paint the cabinet that the amp head sits on to suit me :)

finally finished my exams, fuck yeah motherfucker, now i get to just hang with kyle in drama for the day now, woop woop.

some people are going of the rails leaving friends behind and not thinking of anyone else, just doing drugs and self harming, what a idiot, seriously get a grip, we need to talk NOW!! me you and razzle, cause you just going nuts dude and there is no need, your just putting on a show, pathetic

wooo i have just put the down payment for a marshall half stack, this guitar amp has enough balls to rip your face of, damn i cant wait till i get it, gona break down the walls. So bored at the moment, just sitting here at home playing ps2 or playing guitar, i am going mad, i need something to do or someone to talk to, cant talk to kyle cause might infect him with illness and cant talk to lloyd cause like were not talking so arrrghhhh soooo bored

Wow the past fews days have been cool, i have recoreded 4 songs in total each of them in my opinion very very cool considering that they are only done with the guitar and the drum machine. My god seriously these past few days have been nuts, just doing all this recording, and also trying to contact lloyd, i mean i have done nothing wrong but as you have read on my last entry he seems to hate me, :/ fucking confusing, ARGH god it would be so much easier if some of the shit that went down lately just didnt go down.

wo, seriously you voice your opinion and some people just jump down your throat "you know what dude, fuck you. i'm doing fine, you cunthole. maybe i should go back to south africa, it's this fucking country that's bringing me down. fuck you and fuck your stupid country" seriously need to re-read my entry and think it over. Also dude your gona have to do something soon about this or your not gona have any fucking friends, frankly i am sick of you always thinking of something to be depressed about,"i dont have a job", i have no money", "my band is being let down by me" fuck dude, and then when someone ses they are depressed about something you seem to have something that out does that or you are going through the same damn thing, god dude seriously, plus if you have ever thought of me and kyle as close friends you would try and talk this over with us and tell us why you think you have to be depressed to get attention, its fucking retarded, give it a break, do something or seriously you will have no friends left. Plus why did you call me a cunthole, i have done nothing wrong

Well pink also known as lloyd has just been threatened to be sent back to south africa, dont say i didnt fucking warn you, and dont you dare say it wasnt your fault, you stayed out and never rang your mum dude and you do that pretty much when ever you go out. Dont get "depressed" and do something silly and then show me cause you know what , i dont give a fuck. You know how shit that made me feel when you said you did that to yourself in our last arguement, which was set of by msn, bullshit, its because i cant stand you when you get into a mood and you know it is. You still my friend dude but i cant be done with it. wonder if your gona get sent home or not ?

I am so psyched about my band, i think we have what it takes to go far, its not long until our drummer gets his new set of drums and i am going to be grtting a brand new amp and my bassist is getting new equipment, i cant wait till we can just jam properly, plus cant wait till we do our first ever show, will rock so hard but i bet i will puke so much before i go on, there is a serious love hate relationship with me and the stage, i love the adrenaline when you get on but i hate the nervousness i get before i get on lol. LaTeR ps can you guys try and think of a good name for a band, we have decided that ours sucks at the moment lol

Today was funny as hell, i was waiting in the oracle (big mall in my town) and there were these three townies that came up to me and went in the little townie way with there fist pointed to me, "safe blood", i just gave them a look, not a dirty look or anything like that, just a look,and one of them went "o dont you blank my friend or i will bang you out" so io was like fook of you t**t and they just walked of. So later that day i pointed them out with the rest of my friends that i met in the mall, and the townies walked away and the townie that went "o dont you blank my friend or i will bang you out" fell like a sack of potatoes, like he had just been shot, it was one of those moments where you just cant hold in the laughter, i just stood there and pointed my finger at them and laughed, it was awsome, it was one of those moments where in the movies the dude that flops goes i slow motion to the ground going "nnnnoooooooooo" Price less Saying for the day "what goes around, comes around" ;) LaTeR

ok this has to be one of the coolest words named for a guitar, it truely rocks, i think i am going to have to steel it and use it for my own hehe ;) LaTeR

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/spudd1988/baby.jpg Hope the link works, this is my baby, i love her to bits, its not actually a baby its my guitar, good enough for me ;) this link should work now another link for my other guitar ;) http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/spudd1988/DSCI0004.jpg

My new obsession has to be johnny the homicidal maniac, he is so sadisticly cool, seriously anyone who hasnt actually heard of this guy check it out, there are some over characters to, wobble headed bob, squee etc etc. check him out damn it ;). I am sat at the computer drawing johnny right now actually, i will post it soon when i am finished, what do you guys think of American Head Charge ?

This dude is a idiot, he thinks and strongly believes that god excists and that he can help him (i think it would be better for god to be a women lol) It drives me mad when people go on about god this and god that and how jesus is the lord, he didnt even earn the title "lord" he used his fathers name just like all the little kids that are children of rock stars, not mentioning any names :cough: kelly osbourne :cough:. I have had enough things in my life happen that lead me to believe god doesnt excist adn if he does the hates me. ;) Just annoys me is all, can stand it to be honest. Sorry for the extreme first entry, just i needed to get this of my chest and no one is awake because it is 3 in the morning.