Nothing really, for me, is that bad. I just feel stuck. I might be in a lot of [now] meaningless relationships. My friend treats me differently when boys are present. I guess I'm not good enough to get phone calls and so have to rely on messages through online posts and siblings. But I'm not really stuck. I just don't take charge. I guess I don't want everything to change even though everything has and is changing dramatcially from what I've grown accustomed to. Things change all the time. I won't die I don't want to let things get me down. I'm not going to let things tear me down. I'm done being that way. Done being self loathing and pitiful It's time to start having real fun and forget about people who could obviously care less about me now.