2006. January. was gross. i was too thin. too weak. too high. February. i never knew how to spell that month. hmm. sort of lonely. go figure. March. Me and Andy get along great, 3 weeks later we are no longer talking... April. cmw was a fun time, lamperts rager afterward brought many people back together again. many people made out with toilets that night. and then, eachother. gross. oh well, thats mbs for ya'. May. Jay tambor catches my eye with his 20million watt smile. family finds out ugly stuff about me and does nothing but nearly kick me out and send me to a convent. eh. June. Worst birthday ever, however jay tambor took me out for ice cream and target. graduated, prom w. alexander, work in nyc! July. weirdest month of my life. people came back into my life whom i'd never think would. things were riskier. but not regarding substances, just, emotions. August. Sad to say goodbye to everything but liberating. September. A drunk mess (only on weekends ps.) and loads of work that wasnt too bad and was ALWAYS completed. boy situation with jay tambs got ugly. met a junior with potenial. October. Parties, working my ass off, halloween rage weekend-also the worst weekend of my life... November. Taking charge of my own life and seeking guidence through therapy, native american culture and urban archeology. December. still could never sleep at night...continued to seek help, family life got better, job again, realizations of needing to grow up become aparent and a cross-roads is upon me. see you in 07!

alex is home, thank god. i missed him. IM DONE WITH THIS SORRY IM MAKING A LIVE JOURNAL CUZ I CAN AND THEY"RE KINDA BETTER?

FASHION SHOW WAS TODAY! I WAS THE BEST ON THE RUNWAY. DUH. MY OUTFIT WAS AMAZING AND IM BUYING ALL OF IT. INCLUDING MY $$$$ MARC JACOBS GOLD BOOTS. then wallmart with j was fuckign hilarious. "Babbyy i got you a ringggg, it was on sale at wallmartttt" hahaha "babbbyy i got you a hummerrrrrrrrrr" RAH RAH RAH. i have 0 motivation to do anything and i just wanna send quinnipiac out so i get go to college already! geeezeeee. "slackers paradise" my jam with jason yo'

i've been so high i've been so down up to the skies down to the ground i was SO BLIND i could not see your paradise; is not for me. my life goes on, but not the same. into your eyes... ¢¾ i made such a good cd monique slept over alot of fun. im growing up and its really scary. that song is a madaona song oddly enough. i love it its me. i looked like a total fool when i was talking to my east asia teacher bout my paper but drew counteracted me by doing the raindance. we each got points. (he and i have apoint system) +J looks so hot in turtle necks. im glad i sit DIRECTLY across from him OMG gilmore. peace bitches they're engaged. and im really happy for them. no joke.

i know i pushed you away. halloween is soon blood drive was fun hanging out with j was fun i like chilling with him hes coming over to watch othello to help with english then we're going to drews show it should be mildly amusing mo's coming over tonite uh oh. straylight run is playin next week i really wanna see tme they're awesme. anyway. saw cammy, she's gorgeous i hate it! 'i dont want this anymore dont wanna give, anymore dont wanna be, dont wanna be stuck here. I am, We are, not moving head'

the other day j did an impression of kyle and i nearly died.he did it twice actually. i loved it. oh hey its 420, i went to quinnipiac LOVED IT SO MUCH my tour guide looked like ari. im not even kidding. ari and i dont talk really. whatever. i slept alot from quinnipiac to summit it was like on and off it was wonderful so at quinni i can do a major in marketing and then a minor in fine arts YESSSSSSSSSSS. also in the dorm we went into they had a massive apple twist vodka bottle on a shelf. and Laguna beach was playing on their tv. i knew i was home. highschool kinda sucks but i have some cool friends that i really love and that love me thats all i really need.

alas. i never knew they had 'i have to pee' as a mood. supercools!!! ehhhhh i've never been so damn swamped. i havent had a min to myself and i think i might be getting sick. this whole chronic fatigue bullshit sucks im never fully awaake. im always tired. i feel strung out. im fed up with so much. i sat in the library listening to glassjaw *yah i know wtf* and did my salve app in pen. idk. i dont want to go to college. i just wanna, DANCE. no not even that cuz im so damn tired. ugh kill me. kill me. my sour patch addiction is getting worse. today in history i was sucking them down and isaac turned to me was like, "MORE SOUR PATCH KIDS?!!!" i admitted to a 12 step program. my history teacher said he was proud then talked about my favorite thing ever. THE CCP [chinese communist party] i got wet. ***How about how good it feels it finally forgive you. if you made it. JUST BE GLAD THAT YOU DID. -------------and stay there...so just keep moving.

so im no longer reading my old journals. liek ANY of it. even xanga. like preseptember... because you find shit like this::::: its a beautiful day today, in contrast from yesterday in teh rain with ari all night. a recipy for namonia...dont you think? it was sweet ari was sitting on this step thing and i went and sat between his legs and when ever it rained alot hed put his arms around me and keep me warm...what a sweet-pea... He looked so adorable ^from september of my SOPHMORE year. blah blah blah im gonna go throw up and watch fox news. love youss always. "SOOOO Much times been waasted. so many thoughts have been lost on you*(s)*"-dispatch sooo hardcore plural because there are alot of fucking faggots in my life. its just continuious. AWESOME. *lowrider music...* Heyyy

so southcarolina was ok ((i deleted the last 1 so deal with a new1)) i got an "ohm" ring that i love homecoming was OK not great, just OK i really just dont care about highschool i patched up alot with my friends i went to kat's after with J i havent talked to her in forever and then she comes and sits on my lap and is like OMG I LOVE YOU. so i gues we're friends again? cool. i hate liking people. i relly hate it im so vunerable i can taste it. katie picked me up and slept over we were going to get blizted. but were fucking tired and my legs hurt from my 4 inch shoes. its fun being 5'7.for the night but i dont like it that much. then she like left before i woke up so that was weird. long entry matttes im so vunerable. liek i said cuz i really really like someone and i feel like im gonna just jump off a bridge. who wants my sterio?

*i have chronic mono: so i feel like snoop dog. chronic. idk am i not allowed to make out with people b/c i can get them sick? someone explain! ps. so ___ is fucking gross. what a cunt. i sent him a nice email... pps. aparently my ribbon necklace thang was sexy. i just felt bored. i want my cartolage done. mike said i looked like angelina jolie. i wore no make up to school. +cammy is awesome LOVE YA! harvardd??

i love salve and cant wait to apply. the other schools are nice too. im hangnig out with cammy tomorrow. yay. doing my college essay is a bummer. id ont have much to repot. im lonely. i need to see if im dieing or not from my massive bloodtest. and i really miss talking with alex. im excited for southcarolina and just forgetting about alot. no more sats after that. yay! so is the year over yet or what? love always, your: "low riding junkie girl"-elliot ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ [[20 bucks if you can gues why this makes my stomach churn]] If the silence takes you Then I hope it takes me too So brown eyes I hold you near Cause you’re the only song I want to hear A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

ps. i found my old one on here. i added myself as my friend. my user name was SweetSangria for the tori amos song.. my last entry was oct 25 last year it was like "welllcomee back October 25, 2004 well i have aboyfriend. hehehee hes AMAZING" weird n'est pas? love always, your: "low riding junkie girl"-elliot