I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns to dark. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what is seems, the feeling of belonging to your dreams. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. And there are voices that need to be heard. So much to mention but you can't find the words. The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Listen to your heart, mm-mmmmmm I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. I found the piano music to this. One thing about me, is the way i relieve stress is i practice piano. You can tell how stressed i actually am simply by how long i practice. Today sucked royal monkey ass. So therefore i played. The same song. With pedal. Non stop. For three hours. As you can see i was uber stressed. And mad. And Angry. Therefore i played LOUDLY for three hours. I found the music, and learned the song in three hours. I started at five thirty, and didn't stop once until eight thirty. My back and legs kinda hurt. You can also tell whats bothering me by what i play, or how i play what i'm playing. If i playing really softly and smoothly, somthing involving relationships (with boys, obviously) is on my mind. If i play really loud, I'm pissed off. If i play obsessivly on one song, that means that i failed at something during the day.Thats just me having to get that song perfect, so i don't fail again. I can't stand not being able to do something. Today it was volleyball. Normally i am just fine, today however, sucked. I hit every ball in the wrong direction, and the team i was on sure did not let me forget it. Mainly pat and katie. Je detest them. those asses. They would whisper loudly to eachother about how much i sucked and just hit the ball for once and how embarrassed they were of me. And if they threw the ball at me to catch and i didn't catch it or just let it roll because i knew i wouldn't catch it, they said, JUST CATCH THE EFFING BALL.UGHHHH I was on the verge of tears. Especially because i knew i deserved it, because i did suck. And because pat was just being evil. He would look me square in the eye every time he said something like that. I don't think i smiled once the whole time. And katie had done something that made me mad earlier in the day. Stupid uber gorgeous uber skinny uber perfect barbie-like blonde girls. Seriously Man. I had a hairband on so i snapped that LIGHTLY, and if i didn't, i swear i would have busted out in tears. I can't handle stuff like that. I was plotting to tell mrs mottinger that i felt sick so that i could go to the nurse, just to get away from it but i knew that they would just talk about me even more then. And they would know why i left too. I always try to avoid things that i don't want to deal with. I just couldn't stand it. And, knowing me, to handle it, i just blocked everything out. As soon as i got back to the locker room i changed and put on my headphones and listened to music. I didn't say a word to anyone. I didn't eat lunch because i felt so sick mentally that i just wouldn't be able to handle seeing anyone. But luckilly mel came and sat with me. Idk if it was so luckilly though, since i was on the verge of tears and everything, i didn't want her to worry. I am so weird when it comes to that. Like when i cry i want people to care, but at the same time i don't want them to become worried about me. UGH. I just sat for all of lunch with my head on my knees, trying to keep my eyes dry. But i figured i had bible study where i could go and vent and everything. Nope. I get a note during fouth block that says there is no bible study. I had to ride the bus home. Its quite dangerous for me to have that long to think on a day like today. UGH i was fine in fourth block because laura got me laughing. Then i had to go on the effing bus. Grant was being stupid (srry if you read that grant) so that just added to it. Seriously i was so close to just breaking down right then and there. So add that to my other issues and this effing research paper that i have to do, then fiding out that there is only 17 days left which means that i have to read my book for comm and write a paper on it.... and the list goes on...and on..and on. And it all adds up to me = one UBER UBER stressed girl. I had some green tea while soaking in a warm bubble bath after making cake though, so that helped just a little. Especially with my sore back and legs (due to the thre hours of playing piano) I GIVE UP But miss sixteen year old JessKa passed her drivers test!!!!!! W00T! Double W00T!She is totally gunna drive me and Jess T places in her stang. GOOD JOB JESSKA! That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Who we are cannot be seperated from our body. People reveal their inner thoughts through body language without even knowing it. .......yeah i totally want to take pyschology next year. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

I have decided what i am going to do next year for school. I am not trying to overplan things, i just decided early. Seeing as next year i would be taking an AP class for communications and history, i am going to take them PSEO instead. I am going to, instead of taking them at the highschool, take them at the college. I was talking with my dad about it and he thinks that its a good idea. He was actually the initiator of the idea. I would still go to the high school for some things though, so i would do a half day at the college, and then come back to the high school for the rest of the day. I would much rather go to the college though. Don't get me wrong, i love my friends and hanging out with them at school and lots of the things that we do at the school, but i hate the immature drama and the way that everyone is obsessed with clothes and all of that. At the college no one cares. So i am excited for that. But for now, i just have to get through this year. Or at least these first two terms. I really want my communications class to be over with. But I guess i have to try to get through it. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Today was a pretty lazy day. I woke up at eleven thinking that I had a sinus infection, coming to realize later that it was just allergies. I had to take my vitamin, allergy pill, and my nasonex crap. ugh. And my eyes are bothering me to no end. My parents won't take me in to get them checked yet, because we just bought a 6 month supply of them. But i need them checked. THings are getting uber blurry again. For my right eye, i'm using some old contacts that had been meant for my left eye. They are -5.00, and the contacts that i am supposed to be putting in my right eye are -4.50. So i can see out of my right eye really clearly, but not so much out of my left. But this works for now. My eyes kind of balance eachother out. I went to The Only Inn for supper today. That was really good, as usual. Now, i am going to see a movie with some of my dad's friends. Yeah. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Today was a very interesting day. A lot of things happened. -I stubbed my toe on the wall. -I slammed the back of my hand against the edge of one of my walls. -The Stand Bit Me. In band when i was setting my music down on my stand, i cut my hand on this little sticky-outy sharp part where the stand is broken. It hurt really bad, and it was bleeding. I tried putting a bandaid on it, but the bandaid just fell off. -ok,i will be dancing at the football game on the 14th for JFK, so therefore i cannot do pep band for that day. Mr. Brau on the otherhand thinks that i can play pre game, because i can practice other times. NO I CANT! We all have to stretch and practice together. He thinks that i can just go out and dance without stretching. So now he's going to call Lea, our instructor, to talk to her to 'make sure we can' Lea will not let us play. She will make us stretch that is for sure. So if everything doesn't go just right, it will be an unexcused abscence and my grade will drop on letter. And i won't be able to make it up. EFFING A. -Somebody wrote a letter to Heidi saying how bad she smells and all that stuff and put it in her gym locker. They also mailed one to her house, where her mother opened it. We all know that she smells, but COME ON. That is so low. Who would honestly take the time to find her address and buy a stamp and mail it to her. Considering nobody wants to write an essay for class, why would we want to write for someone else? So yeah, when we would normally be running two laps, Mrs. Mottinger said, boys take two, girls go in the wrestling room. She is UBER pissed. The principal was in there and everything. Doors shut talking to us. It was scary. Heidi didn't come to school today. Of course as soon as we got into the gym all the guys were like "WHAT HAPPENED???" And none of us knew what to say. We were practically speechless. Pat got uber close to me and was like, "what happened?" in this stupid really soft 'i care so answer me' voice. I told him its nothing. But he kept asking if it was bad and i kept answering i'll tell you later. So when we went to the wrestling room i was walking right next to him and i was goint to tell him, but mottinger came right close to us. But when she went to open it, he got even closer and asked me again. I told him that he can't tell anybody, and he said that he wouldn't. Like he was sounding like he actually cared. But yeah. I told him. Mainly to get him to get away from me. -Kaite Slegal... idk how to spell her last name..... yeah she got hit in the face with super fast tennis ball. Right in the mouth. Her lip was super swollen and numb and her mouth was bleeding and everything. I felt so bad. She's such a sweetie! She is one of the popular girls, but shes really nice to everyone. I put away her racket for her, so i helped. - I got an 86 on my essay for communications. That out of 100. My dad thinks that it deserves better than that. I don't like my grade either. But like no one got what they expected. Jenna got a 97 though. ooo. not fair. It kinda made me mad that when i told her what i had shes like.. well.... thats... kinda good. i guess. And then look at what she got. UGH. But we get to add two points to it, so i got an 88, which is a little better. - I got 28 out of 34 on my grammar test! YAY i totally thought that i had bombed it. Plus, she took off a point, because everyone as a whole did really bad. So it was really 26 out of 33. - My grade in communications, after her 2% grade bump, is an A-!!! Its still an A. Its just and A with a dash next to it. -I went to mariahs church yesterday. But first i went home with her and jenna. They hardly talked to me for like the first hour. They both got in the car, and i was banging on the window so that jenna could open it, because it was locked, and they just started driving away. Because jenna didn't hear me. They never talked to me. Their entire conversations were with eachother not me. Even at mariah's house, it was like that for a while. But then it got better. -I went driving with Jeramiah again. Before we went to ellie's me,carin, jenna, mariah and lauren, timmy and Jeramiah went to wal-mart. That was...not fun. I love his car though! w00t. But lauren was being a BUTT. She had told us all of this stuff about how she was all excited about these things and then when we were around Jeramiah she went totally the opposite to everythign she said. Whatever. He noticed, you could tell. Maybe because i brought it up with her and started yelling at her.... yeah that could be part of it. - Small Group. We got pedicures at their small group and it was really fun. Now they are splitting up into two groups because they are so big, and the group that im in is me, jenna, carin, ellie and mariah. Its cool. My toenails are bright orangeish red. I like it, because its so not what i would normaly wear. - Found out that our next movie nights gunna be Oct. 1st. And travis is asking his dad about chaperoning... but yeah we still need chaperones. - Steph is getting confirmed on the 9th, so thats gunna be awesome. - We get confirmed on the 30th, and everyone from small group is gunna come! They're taking a group field trip to our church on that day. I'm uber excited, yet scared at the same time. Yeah.. i'm all typed out. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

I have fifteen minutes before i have to leave for dance. So i have fifteen minutes to bear my soul, or what i can of it. Hokay... so. Mary is sick again. Like UbER sick. She has yet another bladder infection, so they gave her the same pills that she always gets, and some special food as well. The only thing thats diffent about this time, is that my parents said that this is the last time that they would ever get her pills and do all of this for her. So if she gets sick again, shes gone. This really sucks cuz i've had her since second grade, and i LovE her. She's my cat, and since i don't have like a brother or sister, shes like that to me. ugh. I AM CONFUSED. can someone explain to me how a person can be uber sweet and nice to you one day and then pretends like youre a peice of lint on the floor the next day? ITS LIKE THAT EVERY OTHER DAY FOR ME!!! grr. I have a lot on my mind, but i don't know how to explain it so that people will actually understand.... no one understands... except for a few people, and they know who they are. to everyone - don't come up to me in school, or call me and ask me if you are one of the people who understand. If you are, then you'll know. If you're not, then you will be stuck in constant bewilderment. And if you do ask, i will not answer you. Not even if you are. DArn it. I've been talking to britty (my cherry coke, mo) and i havent written as much as i wanted to. But it is now 8:18 o clock and i have to leave. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, You fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty Because of you I am afraid Because of you Because of you

I finally finished my essay for communications. Its only five pages, lol At leat my dad was impressed and thought that i did really good. He said that he wished that he could have essays like that written by students in his classes. So, i hope that its good. She said that she grades hard. So i'm scared The bus sucks I have to get up uber early tomorow to ride the bus. Again. Phy ed sucks. Yeah... now we're on to softball.I HATE FLYING BALLS! UGH I think ill be ok. I haven't done my math Yeah... no. That's Me..deal -Joanna

I have found something that makes me happy. Like uber happy. (to all sick bastards --- STOP) Running. As weird as it sounds, it really makes me happy. Endorphins running crazay. iHEART running. I look forward to running every day in phy ed. I hate when we only have to run one lap. I love it. Maybe not so much whilst i am running, but as soon as i am done i LOVE IT. I love the feeling of having worked, the tiredness... But its a good tired. I also love when i can beat pat. but now he's just being an ass and is running uber fast EVERY DAM DAY. I got to talk to jack. That makes me happy too. I have my intro and two paragraphs done for communications done, and that makes me slightly happy. I'm just happy in general. No more Koenen problems, cuz i just simply don't care anymore. I totally surprised myself with how fast i just stopped caring. I mean, i care, but i'm not like i was. Obsessing over every single move that he makes, just isn't healthy. Plus, i'm just happy! And so i see no reason to be mad at him! YAY! This is scaring me... a lot. Oh well :) That's Me..deal -Joanna

There are a few boys to whom i want to say "boys like you are overrated, so save your breath" Pat Travis All preppy boys in general All annoying boys But to travis and pat i wanna say "my heart is on my sleeve, i wear it like a bruise or blackeye, my badge of weakness.. that means i believed every lie you said" -so, yeah its not exactly like how it is in the song, but its how i like it. my heart is on my sleeve wear it like a bruise or blackeye my badge, my witness that means that i believed every single lie you said cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you but there's a light on in chicago and i know i should be home all the colors of the street signs.. they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house she took me down and said: "boys like you are overrated. so save your breath." loaded words and loaded friends are loaded guns to our heads cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you but there's a light on in chicago and i know i should be home all the colors of the street signs.. they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house you want apologies girl, you might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever, forever the only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips: i hope they taste of me forever and there's a light on in chicago and i know i should be home all the colors of the street signs.. they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again with every breath i wish your body would be broken again, again with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again with every breath i wish your body would be broken again yeah That's Me..deal. -Joanna

My freaking computer is making me mad. It was running uber slow, but now its working fine. I deleted like a whole crapload of stuff, and maybe that helped, but UGH! I have a lot more to write, but i have to go eat. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Hullo all. Even though 'all' refers to like, two people. Two of my bestest friends. w00t. iHEART you both! So yesterday and today was the garage sale. Otherwise known as people stealing your crap that you don't want, and giving you money for it. I made a hundered bucks, which is nice. Lets see... OH, there was the Garage Sale Junkie. This Old lady that came for like an hour and a half, and only bought 7 bucks worth of stuff. She had to touch everything, complain, and throw stuff on the ground in the process. Then there was the awesome girl. She was like 6 and everything she saw was AWESOME!!! Today we went out for supper at The Only Inn in Atwater. It was SOOOOO good! It's a B&B and my mom knows the lady who helped to restore the house, so we've got connections. There was this Uber hot kid working there too. He can wash my dishes ANY time!! lol, jk. maybe not so much.... lol UGH I WANT AN EFFING BOYFRIEND AND ITS PISSING ME OFF but i'll wait..... i'll wait. Jenna and mariah have been at lauren's all weekend, so that's boring. They invited me, but i had to work at the garage sale, and too, i wasn't really up to going to lauren's. Tomorow i have to work at the fifty's drive in at church. w0.... nvm. not w00t. I have to work it with koenen. ugh. That kid's an ass, and i'm sick of him. plus i don't like poodle skirts. I have an essay due on tuesday that i haven't started yet. uh oh. I should probably get on that, huh? I miss britty SOOOO MUCH!!! I HEART YOU BRIT! Our group sucks now. No one comes anymore, its so stupid. I MISS YOU!!!! AGH. p.s. Thanx for the help with the deuschbag busdriver. The bus company has been called..... So, i've been listening to Relient K - Be My Escape for an hour now. iHEART this song as well as britty and my oh so lesbian friend jess. lol So i shall enter lyrics here upon this page of the above cited song: BE MY ESCAPE I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption because I know to live you must give your life away And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I’m giving up on doing this alone now Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there And this life sentence that I’m serving I admit that I’m every bit deserving But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I am a hostage to my own humanity Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I’ve gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I’ve gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I fought You for so long I should have let You in Oh how we regret those things we do And all I was trying to do was save my own skin But so were You So were You so yep. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Let me know that I've done wrong When I've known this all along I go around a time or two Just to waste my time with you Tell me all that you've thrown away Find out games you don't wanna play You are the only one that needs to know I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret) Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it) My dirty little secret Who has to know When we live such fragile lives It's the best way we survive I go around a time or two Just to waste my time with you Tell me all that you've thrown away Find out games you don't wanna play You are the only one that needs to know I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret) Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it) My dirty little secret Who has to know The way she feels inside (inside) Those thoughts I can't deny (deny) These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie) And all I've tried to hide It’s eating me apart Trace this line back I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret) Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret) I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret) Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it) My dirty little secret Dirty little secret Dirty little secret Who has to know Who has to know I really wanted my name to be dirtylilsecret, but i hit enter too soon.... darn it. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Alrighty Then. To be more specific about my bus ride. -Spazzing at little kids Some little kids had some wrappers and bags left over from today and they threw them away. The BUTT comes back grabs the trash out of the garbage and yells at them for eating and says if anyone eats ANYTHING EVER, they'll get 2 weeks riding in the front. EFFING A. -Spazzing at Me. So i was talking on my cell phone while doing NOTHING wrong. I was sitting perfectly, i wasn't being to loud, i wasn't eating, and the BUTT freaking yells "put that cell phone away, no cell phones on the bus!!" WTF? I know that i can have my phone on the bus. Last year i used it all the time. And if we couldn't have them, they would have told us. Haha, yeah I kept talking to britty as i was getting off, so it was pretty obvious that i was talking on my phone, and i walk right past him. HA EFFING HA. He's like "NO PHONES ON THE BUS ANY MORE!!!" that made me laugh. -The Die. Graham threw a die down the aisle so it would hit the front of the bus and be really obvious and then yelled, OOPS I GUESS I MISSED THAT ONE. My parents both think that the cell phone thing is pretty stupid, so my mom is calling the bus company tomorow to see what is up. Which is awesome. I HATE THAT DRIVER!!! I have so much homework, its not even funny. I have four exersises and 9 pages of reading for communications, oh and we have an essay whose rough draft is due on tuesday. Guess what it's on?? HUCK FINN.And i have to read a book for my independent book project. The book i chose is Wuthering Heights. I have a lesson due for math, which i REALLY do not want to do. Jenna broke up with the oh so boring Jake, YAY!! He was cheating on her. Yeah. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

That's jack and me. Yeah. My bus driver is a deuschbag. i hate him. he yelled at me for using my effing phone. And then he was practically screaming at the little kids becuase he found food bags in the garbage. EFFING A. Today really wasn't interesting at all. No numbered things to talk about yet. that's yet... That's Me..deal. -Joanna

There are 6 weeks until i get confirmed. That is very scary, not the whole getting confirmed part, but just the fact that we're getting confirmed scares me. That was always the older kids. Now WE are the older kids. That means that i'm growing up. That fact scares me more than anything. I like the age i am, not so much the drama that comes with it, but just the fun that i can have while still being this young. Jack was on today. I MISS HIM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much we talked yay My darn picture cd from the mission trip doesn't work. grr. yeah. That's Me..deal. -Joanna

STARGIRL Yes this is my thing. I am STARGIRL. I will be lucky if i have ANY friends by the end of this week. I am an evil person who should never be able to talk again.

Yeah. I did something wrong again. Wow. surprise sur effing prise. I have the biggest mouth ever. I told like everyone about jess and grant and i feel soooooo bad. I got carried away. grant hates me. Well i kinda deserve that. No wonder grant was being an ass. I deserve it completely. Anyways, today was intersting.... 1. Today in math, when travis went to get some graph paper, i asked him if he could get me and jess some. he said "yeah..if i can...." yeah we just looked at eachother and understood completely. We bust out laughing and nobody understood. It was great. But the smart alec alex said ooo someone likes koenen, and was making fun of me. yeah that pissed me off. 2. The bus broke down on first street. That was awesome. 3. I actually talked to pat today. just random words, but it was enough to let the weirdness go away. At the begining of class when we were running the two laps, he at first tried to run right next to me because mottinger said that it should be a nice jog. Well, as soon as he was next to me, i ran full out the rest of the time, and beat him, by a lot. As soon as i took off he said "SLOW DOWN,WERE SUPPOSED TO JOG! THIS ISNT A RACE!" yeah, but for me it was. It was one that i won. 4.I didn't have like ANY of my homework done. 5. I had cramps that could cripple a horse. Yeah That's Me..deal. -Joanna

Today was VERY interesting. 1. I miss Jack soooooo much. I couldn't stop thinking about him, but i know i have to get over him. 2.I found out that Koenen is coming with to Texas. I hope that that'll be fun. At least he talks to me this year. Jenna thinks that i like him, but i don't. I just want to get closer to him as a friend. I just want to get to know him better. 3. Patrick dear patrick. He is in my phy ed class and will be in my health class. )talking about sex with him will be fun, huh?!) I feel bad for being mean to him, but i know that i shouldn't. But i don't want to hold a grudge. He hasn't done anything this year for me to be mad at him for, so it's stupid to be mad at him. I just don't know about him. 4. Grant asked jess out today. I am SO ANNOYED by that child. I feel so bad for jess. Grant just can't take any hints. That's the one thing about pat. he knows body language and when its ok to be funny and when its not. Grant knows nothing of this. 5. I've noticed something totally different this year. I am way more confident and talkative this year. Which is weird... considering i'm very shy. But maybe now that i learned from Jack that people who actually care about me, like me for who I am, and that i don't have to change, i don't think so much about what people think of me. yeah that's all i feel like typing now.... That's Me..deal. -Joanna

This is Me. In this diary, i'm holding nothing back... hopefully. Only Certain people will get to see it though. Those are the special people. The people i trust the most. The People that i think will read what i write and not tell. THIS is really Me...so you better deal. -Joanna