He's right. I keep trying to force a decision, and I shouldn't. I think I'm making things easier, but I'm not, things become more and more difficult because of me. He makes things simple, easy, flowing. He'd be so much better off without me. I'm up on a pedestal, and I don't belong there. There's all this pressure and weight on me to be perfect, to be a savior. But I'm not a savior, I'm just someone who cares deeply for him. I just can't take the pressure. My dreams and thoughts conflict. He and I conflict. I miss simplicity. I'm going to try to let it lie, to flow like water, like him. I want so much to be like him.