It's June 30th, the third day of my vacation. I left my home to go to the beach. I was so happy to arrive on this little tiny island near the coast of the state mostly because I wanted to take a break from all the stress in life (not trying to be emo). Most of the friends I know want to try to get peoples attention. They are mostly rude when you have something to say and they ignore you and pretty much just start talking about how wonderful life is for them and brag on and on about how they got 5 xbox 360s. As if i give a shit. I just go along and pretend like I care. One of my friends is in the hospital at the time and she started to brag about how she has to eat shitty food everyday. My mom's a nurse ok? I think I know how shitty the food is everyday. And then she goes on the internet and tells people she doesn't know about what happened. And she gets mad at me for talking to my ex. She got over it thank god but she still is telling people that her life sucks and crap. All my friends are like this. One of my friends cried because she couldn't ask her dad if she could go somewhere. Nobody should cry over shit like that. Even when I'm at the beach people still tell me how their life sucks and its like I'm trying to enjoy my vacation while you're trying to destroy it with all the shit thats happening. I don't want to be anybody's therapist while I am on vacation. For god's sake they are so sucked up in getting attention that they are destroying a perfectly good friendship. AKA they are being greedy. Anybody help?

I feel very mixed today. Like for one I am kinda sad because I think my friend is mad at me for making the soccer team and she made the practice team. Ever since she has been making insults at people (which I hate to admit but its funny). I have been feeling a bit depressed because i got at 27% in science which will be hard to bring it up. I feel like I am going through the same process that happened to me back then. I mean I start out doing good but later in the year I start to fail miserably and I don't know why. And my semi-friends, Brian is being an ass hole to me but I think its just cause he has a crush on me (he admitted it so, yeah). Ever since I switched schools I feel miserable even when I should be happy. I think its because I have lost all of my friends that were nice to me and cared and well at my new school I don't know who to trust. I'm sure someone on sitdiary has had this happen. And I can't just suck it up because after awhile it gets so old and tiring. With all this mixed feelings I feel like buying a metal base ball bat and bashing someones head into the concrete. And now instead of enjoying my teen-hood I am to busy rebelling against many things. I want to go out there and sew the school board, I want to bash peoples faces, I want someone to help me. I haven't seen my therapist in over a month which is bad because i have to get my feelings out and tell someone. ~Anyway~ Me and my friends have been making a group and we plan on selling items at the anime convention, which we are very excited about. and... theres nothing else to say. Later!

February 7, 2008 ~Today~ Well today was alright. I had to go to a eye doctor appointment which was alright and fast. After the doctors appointment I begged my mom to go to Bruggers and got some bagels. She finally said alright. Then I realized that since after being at the eye doctors I have to wear the little sun glasses things after they put drops in your eyes. So I really didn't want to walk around wearing the stupid sunglasses so stupidly enough i don't wear them and have a hard to walking to the shop. Which was very retarded of me to do. Later I get to my third period class skipping gym and math. And then even later that day I was waiting for my ride home when my semi-friends that I am mad at came up to me and started talking to me. Well since yesterday was 80's day Steve (no not the Steve on sitdiary) commented my outfit and said "You were so hot in that outfit I would have banged you" which made me kinda sick in the stomach considering he is ugly and jerk so having that image come to mind is nasty. Then my other semi-friend said that he wanted to bang me too so I just ignored them and walked over to my friend Misha and talked to her about random shit. Then after that I went to look at glasses which took 1 hour and 30 minutes because most of the glasses didn't fit me at all (as in they didn't look good on me) and the guy there told me that too which was fine because I agreed. And that was my boring day. ~yesterday~ Well yesterday was 80's day and the day before that was "wacky hair day". So the mix between my outfit and my hair was... interesting. Moving on, So my friend Brian came back from the mental hospital and the only reason he tried to kill himself was because a girl that he couldn't have that he didn't even like. So now that he's back he's receiving hugs and shit when like two other people besides me are pissed at him. I wanted to take a metal baseball bat and hit him in the dick. Although later that day I hit him directly where the sun doesn't shine twice and he told me I missed so I am guessing he either has a small penis or he is really a woman. Then at some point he came up to me and tried to hug me and I pushed him away and then he pushed me back. Blah... so yea

I has been a very boring week. At school here was this guy named Josh who farted in my class and my teacher call his parents because of it. weird no? Some girl on myspace calls herself gossip girl and talks about the gossip in my school... which is stupid. I don' know what to talk about... so... PENIS!

My life so far, complex. I keep remembering bad things of the past. For awhile now I've had a urge to draw and write poetry but I don't know what I should draw or what I should write. Anybody on sitdiary have any ideas? For awhile now i hated school. Not because of the everyday stuff every teenager goes through. I hate it because I AM NOT being educated. For example it is the middle of the year and my teacher is teacher us "FRACTIONS". Thats right fucking 3rd grade work. Also the education also sucks at my school because all you do is "LISTEN" and you don't take any "Notes" apparently last year like half the students didn't pass the EOG. This year they blame it on the students when the teachers are not teaching like they should. This is my first year at the school and so far I am disappointed and because I don't want to fail I have to teach myself. Well I have to go, and again let me know if you have any ideas for me! Thank You. ~Panda