okay so today was a bad/great day. bad- me and ryan kept fighting great- me and ryan made up. me sean, josh, joey, chelsey, emily, and tracy. jeez do i love those kids.

i love how queer everyone around me is with the exception of 4 people. people act as if im supposed to same the same just for them forever when theyve clearly moved on. NO.

latelt ive been feeling as if no one can amount to me. like im the better one. like im the smarter one. thats how i think of it but i know in reality thats not how it really is. well actually i am better. i am smarter. [onanintelectallevel] god i love action action sorry i think i might be getting a new boy/fuckbuddy soon. eh im easy so its all the same fucking same to me.

i went to the movies and had a fun time. it wasnt the best time ive ever had. but it was one of those times when you can actually enjoy yourself. which i havent been able to do in a while. me, emily, tracy and sam where all just outside the whole time. luaghing talking about south park. and smoking. then i was being so annoying yet funny telling people just these random ass stories. but before i had let the good times roll there was some drama because im seriosly out of my fuckin mind. seriously, no one is as crazy as me. and dont meen crazy as in a good fun way, but a phsyco way. i meeen im FUCKIN INSANE. dont take that the wrong way its not like im gonna eet your face off or anything. i think thats why people actually care to listen to me. wait no most people dont listen to me. but if they did they would actually care to talk to me more. or maybe not maybe the things i think make sense to me but not other people. like i think about the meeningless shit in life like, grass or toothbrushes. shit like that. FUCK. i dont know. well i do know but ahh whatever. i guess what im trying to say is, IF PEOPLE TOOK THE TIME TO REALLY LISTEN TO ME I WOULD REALLY HAVE SOMETHING WORTHWHILE TO SAY AND SOMETHING FOR THEM TO LISTEN TO. yea thats it.