today i try to change my ways.....i started by helping others that came to me for advice but i feel they were being try hards i try to find myself in a world destroyed by hatred and inpurity we all live wid this we should be able to change it, i would try if i had someone beside me to take the step, let me out of this prison.....some days its like to hard to handle and i want to cut myself to stop this pain willl it ever end.....i feel sorry for everyone. the people who don't appreciate life don't deserve to live......like me!!!! goodbye all....hope we may talk once again someday. luv always joe aka (Tamara)

finally i am over everything........i can finally liv e but for what i need something give me something only one person can give me that but will it come along i will never know until it hits me in the face from today on i will be waiting.....

i finally figued why i live and forget.....i was crushed when my boyfriend chris dumped me and said we are over for ever and our relationship ment nothing to him it hit me harder then anything in life so far....fuk i just wrote that.....i am so over him but i wish he would of told me not his friends. gtg sadness creeping over my face xxxxxxxxx joe

i am so sad today....me an my boyf are 1 minuet going oput and the next he is tellin his mates that wernot and we had a great relationship i don't know what went wrong i love him and he did love me we had been going out for 14 month now i really dont know whats going on with our relationship i just hope we get to talk before anything else goes wrong......my life is fuked up i wish i was dead sometimes cya all around sometime.....joe

life sux i am so fuked right know.......i just wanna sleep.......i want something to live for to amaze me sacrifice something for something/someone i am so sad/depressed i need to breath and succeed.....i bleed and feed as life itself if freed from the hands of evil.....blood is suddenly sucked the life out of me i need to feel the power of the flower that grows inside of me is it life less or is it full of fire i don't know what will rekindle it......life is a strain on our shoulders should we let go or hold on.......will we unfold a new beginning.......we will never know../..joe

the hollidays for me were somewhat exiting for once......i was happy andi think i was happy because i was around people i didn't know well but we were close when we shared a place for a week......i broke up wid my boyfriend it is sad but it was mutual after a year and a half relationship......i met a guy his name was tim he was like my best friend we drank our sorrows away i guess it was naughty but it helped alot then because we were so smashed we ended up sleeping together it was so enjoyable it definately was a stress reliver i am now on talking terms wid my ex boyfriend so we are both happy wid that and i am happy to be single.......love ya

hello all i know probably all of you don't know me really well but you should all tell a freind how you really feel.....i know when i write i don't express my feelings as much as i should it makes people happy to know their not the only one hows felling the same and going through the same things.....i really want to be alone today but my friends are scared about what might happen i hope that my life gets back on track before i do something i regret . i wish life was different then it is i wish i would meet someone that respects me and cares for me ...........i wish that he will come and talk to me.....goodbye

i fuken hate this world they are all against me, i feel surrounded what can i do? i am fuking fat now i suffer from depression and axciety attacks. i excersise to the max and still i cant lose the weight i like a guy cameron he is so fukin hot i just hope that i can get to him in time before nicole makes her move fukin hell i am so in dream land i dont know what i can do we both feel the same about each other hes morepopular than me and i am just another person standing in the corner waiting and waiting til the one thing that makes you smile passes you by........... we all know that we want what we cant have that the rule i live by cya around maybe when i am in dream world again

heyall at my skewl on thursday we had a festival and all these bands came here to play and to find a winner which they did it was da best all these hot guys took of their shirts and the chicks were so fukin ugly i have hotter friends then that but the festival was fun i snuk in three times and got my ass riped three times aswell......... it was da bestest day at skewl ever so many hot guys i want their numbers but hey i know i wont i so need a life ............i need some chocolate you should go get some to life sucks!!!!

heyya i am just gonna be lyk hi i kinda got a hang over it was my brothers 18th yesterday and hizs mates and me got so hammered that i cant remember anything accept hooking up wid a mate of my brothers hes sooo hot..........whats gonna happen.........i so wanna 2nd round of that so good okay i better shuttup about him we'll talk somemore afta i sobber up if you know what i mean!!!!

today i really didn't wonna come to skewl for one its photo day and i feel like crap...........i h8 skewl i can't wait to go to tafe next year then i wont have to put up wid techers crap any more............... i hope that life will be bettter after this year i will finally leave the skewl from hell and maybe i will get closer to my boyfriend.....i am so bored

today i feeel sick in the stomache.......i don't know why i miss chris, he told me he loved me i said i love you too and thats the truth.......theres just one thing that i don't like about chris is hes to luvy duvy but thats not really the issue we never spend time together......hes always to buzy hanging wid friends i am really scared our relationship will fall apart........all last night i was upset i cried over him in fact he is the only guy ive cried over......i am really sad i wish i wasn't......i wish someone would just hold me.......gtg talk to you soon guys i really aint up for anymore writing.....

hey i'm back....... i live in a life full of lies and pain which you probably know if you have read my diary.........i don't know why but i have been holding back things my life my secrets behind closed doors yearz ago i don't relise why but since i've been through most of the presures in life already but i know no why i have i have never had the chance to share it but now i can show others that i have a life and that i feel all emotions of others leaning on my shoulders not that i care about that but i know now there is a light at the end of every tunnel and you are standing their wid open hands thanx your the best you help me get through alot like quit smoking and make me laugh like i've never done before you are my friend, my sole mate thanx agen bye bye talk to you soon buds you rule.......joe

hey i'm joe dirt well my real name is tamara but pplz just call me joe cause i am such a tomboy my life sux cause i have resolved my probs by taking drugs and resolting in me getting trouble at skewl but i really only truthfully do it to fit in and because it releases the pressure. i don't know why but i have a thing for a guy his name is cameron he is so popular and im so not ........... i some how attract the wrong sort of people that don't believe in me i try to express my self by doing well in sport my fav subject at skewl i have to admit i am a excersise freak, i hate being told what to do so i get introuble i don't get good grades not any more but my dream is to get in the army im going that way by express my full potential in life............and i hope that who every reads my fucked up life will believe in yourself to and dont resort to drugs like me .p.o. love ya all.....joe