Life isn't all it's cut out to be. It has it's ups and it's downs and that is for sure, but you have to embrace and cherish those ups and downs and you have tolearn from them. You can't just sit back and mope and make people have pity for you. You have to put those things that are hurting you aside...And live...You only get one life, one life isn't that long. You have to do everything that comes your way. Sure, that might mean you might get embarassed, but in a month, no one will remember, or if they do, you will be able to look back on it and laugh. You have to do what you feel is right. Keep doing little cute things that make you, life, seperating skittles into colors, or M&Ms before you eat them, of course in order of the rainbow...You can't worry about other people. It is YOUR life, not theirs...Just live your life how you want to live it. And sometimes you cant help but worry about other people, but sometimes you jut have to sit down and think about who comes first, honestly you or your friend? You have to live with yourself 247. you have to deal with the mistakes you make. not them. and you dont have to live with your friends mistake either. Don't follow examples, make them. Let people follow in your footsteps. Sometimes, you just have to dance around and look like a fool. Other times, you just to sing as loud as you can, even if you do sound bad, and we all know that Jamie and I give the best concerts in Carmel...You haven't lived until you've danced in your underwear with your best friends, or streaked down carey..or run around your friends grandmas backyard..nude...or stuck m&ms up your nose..and on a more serious point. YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO ALMOST HAVE IT TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU..BUT most of all in life, you need to laugh. Never go a day without laughing... or at least smiling. It doesn't matter if you've had the worst day, if you just laugh, everything will be okay. and if anything it is easier to laugh at yourself....and for the most part, just be you. Don't listen to others... They are going to make fun of you...They are going to tell you that you're stupid. But, that is their (stupid) opinion. It only becomes true when you start to believe it and remember..in life you have three options.
You Can: give UP, give IN, or give it your ALL!
So sometimes.
I would do anything.
Its so amazing how my day cant start out so badly, but end up amazing.
I finished my paper, I really enjoyed researching JP2. I love Catholicism, and everything about it. I read some writings of JP2 and it was just relaxing. I had this house to myself for most of the day. I had a realization, but moved passed it. Little spurts like that makes me apperciate when I am happy and loving life.
speaking of loving life. i do. i've got this feeling deep inside that somewhere somehow...everything is going to be okay. I just got to keep my head up and keep going strong. I have to wake up every morning ready to face whatever comes at me....
its nice. 9:17 and no one is up yet. i love it.
i had the worst night of my life last night. it all started around eleven. then. i just went to sleep and hoped that i'd never get up. but i did and now it is 9:18 and i'm supposed to be working on my paper.
*I hold on for too long. I'm always forgiving and telling myself lies in order for everything to be okay. but i realize that i can't. i can't hold on to something that is not there.
*I have the best friends in the world. they are always silly and goofy and willing to love me even though i am so stupid sometimes. but i hope that i don't take them for granted ever, and i hope that they don't take me for granted..because i know that we only have three more years together, and we should make the best of it. also i dont know how long ill stick around. not that im emo or anything. but sometimes people leave, and people change.
*i'm back if anyone cares...i'm just questioning pretty much everything these days.
xoxo.
its so hard to express myself.
i sit here for hours trying to figure out what to put.
nothing sounds right.
nothing seems right.
but i know.
one day.
everything will be right.
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new day
I'm reminded of the past
Everytime there's another storm
I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope 'cause I get another chance
But I will try
I will try
Got nothing
Left to hide
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go.
I love that song.
I don't really feel well right now.Taco Bell + being outside for three hours + smell of popcorn = not feeling good.
English was pretty fun today also. 90 minutes doing about absolutley nothing is amazing.
I'm falling behind in my school work, but...mhh whateveeeeeer.
peace out girl scouts.
katherine
Today, over all..was a good day. So that was all good.
I have finally realized that in this life, I'm alone. I have to face everything by myself, sure there might be some situations that I want to hold a hand during, like a haunted house, or when nothing is going right or something like that. But for the most part I feel like I don't need anyone to pull me ahead. If that makes any sense.
The three weeks Emily was here I was with someone all the time...which I do not mind what-so-ever..but to go from company all the time, to basically never...It at first was hard, but then I started to realize that you have to be your own best friend. you have to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and sit with yourself during class, you have to deal with your actions and the words you say to others and if you are unable to forgive yourself how are going to be able to forgive others?
If you don't trust yourself, how are you going to trust others? If you can not be happy for yourself how are you going to be happy for your friend?
Well this weekend looks like it'll be a good one..hanging with my girls on friday and I think Tae Na's bonfire on Saturday...
xoxo
Katherine
I just woke up from a lovely nap.
The last normal nap I'll have.
*I dropped Emily and everyone off at the airport. It was so sad to see everyone leave. We were all crying. Tim didn't have his point and looked so amazingly hot.
*As I hugged each of them goodbye I realized how each of the effected my life and how we effected theirs. The last hug was from Tim who whispred in my ear Thank You. And tear ran down my face.
*Tomorrow I'll go to school, without a piece of me. I'll go alone. I won't go to A209 in the morning, or after school. I won't feel like a loser sitting with all the exchange students at lunch. I won't be able to leave ICP because I saw Emily in the hall and I won't ask Dr. to leave. I'll have no more visitors in Bib. Lit. to introduce. I'll deal no more with german drama. I won't be able to say Morgen to Daniel, or Alledinks to Max. No more random hugs from Sophia, or strange looks from Tom. No insightful talks with Eva, No more misunderstandings with Emma that I would laugh about forever. No more gummibear throwing, or water fights at ten at night, or knife throwing...no more call at 6:30 a.m. to Germany. No one to sit with on the bus. No more Felix on the bus to ask how his day was. No more Josh and Ellie. No more field trips.
No more Germans....
.....that is for the next 228 days, and then the craziness starts again.
And I believe that all of this has changed me. And I am so blessed to be a part of it.
More later, gotta go to church.
p.s. My daddy brought home a Coach purse.
I've been alive for only 15 short years, and I have nothing to show for it. I wish I did more.
I love lazy hazy days like these. I woke up in a tent this morning and just thought for a while. It was some sweet times.
I've become more independant lately. I think that I have also become a lot more Black and White latley. It is either yes or no. Right or left. Where did all the spontaneous Katie go? The colorful, spontaneous, laughing Katie?
I'm here some where. Maybe I'm on vacation. But I am excited for when then real katie is back!