i havent wrote in this DIE-ary in YEARSSS and im not really sure what made me look it up and read it all over again and it took me forever to remember my password... im not sure if im going to start writing in this DIE-ary again or not most of what was wrote in here i was doing a lot of drugs and stupid stuff... my last entry was in 2006 lots has changed since then im more settled down now boring really but thats quite alright with me really i dont miss thoes stupid days.... still in btown still with will 5 years later i dont really know what else to say and i doubt anyone will read this haha none of my friends ever come here any more... duces

alright its new picture time...yep i suck i got my monroe done again.

so this is a really bad bad picture of me..zits n shit but who fucking cares...i was sooooo hungover

im not going to writing in this DIE-ary much anymore.. my life sucks. whatelse is new though

lame. cliche.

i feel like i should update this peice of shit DIE-ary so here goes... i have a lot of random shit to say. its been raining all fucking day and my pants are soaking wet, what makes it worse is they are tripp pants (not to name drop) and they get really fucking heavy when wet. will beads and myself went camping over the weekend who would have thought that in Bloomington IN in the middle of fucking winter we could have gone camping? it was really nice to be out of the 'box' we camped in the old train yard were all the grffiti is i dont think will had seen that stuff before just like what i had taken pictures of, beads and i have been there many a nights. i had a lot of fun will and i reconnected i love him so much its just so hard to have a normal relationship in this sitiuation only because we NEVER have time alone the only time alone that we had was when we stayed with kristi and thats not going to happen for a while if ever. will and i went to the gas station we walked there but i dont know maybe 3 blocks away from it we asked this guy for a ride chuck he was like suree so as we got close to the gas station there was like 4 cop cars parked outside we went to kife tampons so im thinking ohhh good this should be fun we go in and will gets them right in front of 6 cops it was funny cause they were looking at us hard and he did it right in front of them. on the way back to the train yard we stopped at this house cause they were playing ozzy will just walked up to the door and knocked hes like can i have a shot of vodka we so took over his house it was great i know it prolly dosent sond that cool but you had to be there. today is really slow ryan got weed yesterday and i got really fucking stoned but today is a sober day im going to stay sober for a cupple of days i just wanna do something diffrent. will just got a note from some kid hes like 'i understand you have been troubling may, if this continues i will have to punish you mays lover' wow random im going to go find that kid hes fucking stupid.

ohh my god things are going down hill, i would expect this at this point its been about 4 months which is about my lasting point with b/fs n such i mean will and i are okay but things have getting quite fucked up making bad choices hes upset with me for doing something he asked me to do...however he was testing me or something and i failed he told me he hated me and we should never talk again things started to get better we got shit faced drunk in indy and stole all kinds of shit from the mall i had a lot of fun with him last night he was really drunk me him and ryan found this couch and sence ryans other friend pissed on his other chair he wanted it none of us have cars so we had to carry it all the way to ryans which is like 8 blocks we had to keep stopping cause it was heavy so we were just chilling on the couch on the curb well i guess thats kinda odd so we got stopped by the cops 3 times then we just said fuck it and left the fucker on the sidewalk. this is all kinda out of order but anyway yesterday was so nice we came to bed and cuddled me hes like i love you. i thought things were okau but today hes not really said anything to me and hes just kinda acting like he dosnt want me around i dont understand him. my birthday is in two days.

im stoned right now stoned immaculate. this has been one of the better days ive had, will and i had been dicked around for two days by our guy but it all worked out in the end karma. i have lots i wanna say but i think im too retarded to do it right now ariel update your journal

^ will. ill get some of us together later rachel. i have a long post but i have to go cause uhh i do

i so got stabbed with a butcher knife by wills friend, in the boobie...suck

after the crappy start to our day it got better we talked to ryan and he was like come on over well smoke you out and we did we left only to return to get a sack and ran into wills friend we took him back with us and it was all beautiful methadomes and klonapins well i lost two days i woke up this morning and i didnt know where the fuck i was and we are going to do it all over again. i love my fucking life.

this dog was so cute, then it bit me.

will. moi. satan dog. willy. yeh i have more but im too lazy to post them

im so in love and the best part is hes in love with me too. oh yeh i got an account at darkstarlings so i dont know how much im going to journaling (sp) here http://www.darkstarlings.com/display_profile.php?name=stuupid

i feel will and i are going to part paths. i dont know that tho im stoned

warning this is going to be a babble post. things have a way to be really sureal i dont know how to explane it but it just seems like everything that happens is a dream that its shit ive made up in my head im not always fucked up when i think of this it just feels that way, yesterday i was riding the bus with will and i was stoned this lady gets on the bus with her kid and hes in a stroler and hes got blankets covering him hes in the little nest...a bubble its all his world its how i feel like this is my world ive become god of my own realitiy i can do anything now. <3will.

so its wills birthday and to start his birthday off good we got kicked out of kristis house at 4:30 am because i let beads and zoe come over will tried to cut beads head off and zoe puked all over the house, i went sledding for the first time ever...it was so fucking fun i must have went 40ft good times.. i went to the hospital to find out why im sick and i have tonsillitis this will be the 4 time in less then a year ive had it..i think im going to have to have the little fuckers removed

it wont let me post my journal entry motherfuck!! i dont really care anyway

FUCK YOU SIT DIEARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im bored today i went with my mother this morning, she bought me a new phone its a peice of shit but it serves its purpose i guess...i was hoping by this time i would be stoned but no one is out today cause its so goddamn cold outside so now we wait...and wait for nothing im sure im really tired i didnt get much sleep last night will kept waking up and talking about zombies...he said he locked them in the cabin i thought he said cabinet i was like which cabinet so i didnt let them out...uhh yeh you had to be there... this is prolly the lamest post ive made to date.. whatever