missing dates

to bad

i hope theyre not loss

i like these comments from my old entires...

why deny the fact that im one of those person that must start over again and again till i hit rockbottem why delay it but then again do i still want that i mean i think i want something with more substance not artificial paradise i want menories that i can remenber and without feelings of shame guilt and what not i dont know i really dont know mabe i shall join up and serve community college just doesnt seem right right now i mean my fellow citizens are over there right now and are fighting and dieing while im home safe blessed not sleeping reading all night screwing up steering aimlessly on to the future i think i want more but i am not sure how to go about it or even what more even is

from 2d outline of box

around winter 04/spring 05?

i was 17

One thing people say about drugs is that u will find things while on them only to lose what u found out the next day when u are off the fun. That u do it its done and u can’t ever get anything meaningful from it.

Not true.

From relapse

spring 05/summer

To you

I surrender

body, mind, and soul.

You have defeated me

every possible

abstract, tangible way.

I am yours

Do as u please.

From love

spring 05/summer

why is there evil in this world



it there is a god that is all powerful all knowing and all good

why did 6million jews and other have to be murderd


for the greater good


what the fuck


from weird

fall 05

i been with christine for like only 3 months and were spending christday together

im happy but scared

(think thats an underlining theme to me?)

mabe but i dont think its too fast

From a little less

winter 05

what the fuck man really woman are fuckin crazyer then racoons and racoons are fuckin crazy

from sometimes

spring 06

but im a fake poser and pussy so mabe i wont

mabe ill just try to endure this life

or new one

or this one

or mabe that one

or none

fuck it

im just so sad all the time

so depress

i dont know

well yea


from leap of faith

spring/ summer 06

i cant go on like this

i cant keep doing the crazy shit i do

or can i

i mean what do i want out of life?

i dont know anymore

so many things have change

so yea

life goes on

fuck it!

From almost died

summer/fallish 06

its like i am just so damn young and inmature and not capable of doing anything right or along the right line or something

but then now…

but then i just start thinkin about shit and it all goes to shit

but then it doesnt

like why am i not happy

like i jump up and down laughing out my lungs

all the time

and like things are sort of going well

so fuck God when will i know this is the right road

the right path or what ever shit man

i just want to know....

from trailer it

fall 06

damn like i changed alot since startin this diary i have


im glad though

im glad that i still have room to grow to better my reality

im glad that i went thru what i did this year

i am stronger

im glad i have a family that loves me and puts up with my crazies

im glad i have my health or alive

im glad that u are readin this

im glad that i can get a card for weed

im glad that i saw all the shit i saw

this my life and i hope urs is not a fuckin tv show nothing goes as we plan and nothing is fairy tale i saw sufferin i suffered i know of what its like for others that have not much and i feel for them the most and envy them too

i want to feel more this new year then ever before

i know u could argue that this last year i felt more then before but i think ur missin the point

that was one way:


i felt the extreme of depression and self-loathing

now is the time to turn around and try other way cause i think this is what im lookin for

but Who knowns?

i will get in shape…

i plan on cuting down i cancer sticks…

i want to create more

i want to be more organized

i want to stop wantin and just be

i am....

from New year

Winter 06?

i think

I read through them all

it made me feel real good

im going to go try to fall asleep

360 hit(s) are you sure?  
August 21st, 2008 @ 4:26am
I write as my heart sees fit! lol.. Keep Cheerful brother!
August 21st, 2008 @ 10:30am
. . .it's just third person

:] how goes it?
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Entry List
Holy Sh!t!
A long time ago...
Long live Conan!!!
Scared shitless…
i once heard a story...
missing dates
I did it!!!
once again
one month
One month
only time will tell.....
my face hurts
another year
..out of my ass
yea anyways
New Year.....
most nights
29 post(s)