...I’ve seem to have lost myself

many years ago

Often I ask myself

where did the time go?

As I stare into the mirror

I can’t help to not know who that I see?

I fight the quivers as I shiver looking at me...

It’s me, it’s me, its me...

or so it seems,

through all those awkward stares,

all those broken up, stumbled words/sentences.

Fucken moments!

It was me.

I was...

Walk up, wake up, just wake up.

Your not dead yet.

you are not!

Not dead yet!

Go

Just go!

But...

Is it all but a dream within a dream?

I cant make sense of it but it seems to go.

I need control!

I need to wake up.

Its my fcuken life apparently.

What do I want to do?

What the fcuk do I believe in?

I hate it when I let persons down.

I can’t stand it when I create things I don’t follow through on.

I don’t know why I thought just maintaining was good enough?!?!?!?

I lost myself a long time ago but it is not a dream and I do need to walk up...

..its not a joke...