I asked out C yesterday. That makes her my 12th official girlfriend that i can remember. I'm 22 years old and i've rarely been single. This shit's hit me strong. Fuuuck. I look to my right and i see he perfect student view: trolleys, a wall, consruction. It's beautiful. I hate it and i love it. People can see my room, with it's gorgeous blue fairy lights and posters smacked on every wall. I wanna be over Lily but i can't be. This drives me crazy, it actually hurts to look at pictures of her. I want her back but know i don't really. I'm sick of feeling this way. I've been medicated for about a year now. That's a daunting thought. I've played, throughout my life, with both the oposing views of loving being on meds and hating it, i can't decide. Right now it disgusts me that i need these little round pills to feel normal. It doesn't make me feel normal, i feel like a freak. I'm a pretty ordinary guy i feel, and having to take medication makes me feel like one of those people you see in movies with a load of issues and stuff. Surely that's not me? Uh i'm gonna work now. Bye.