i hate it. i hate that i have started to feel this way about her. because it is just too much for me to bare. i hate how she makes my stomach upset. how she causes every thought in my head to vanish. i hate how i mumble and stutter around her. and how she notices. i shouldn't feel this way about her. she isn't my typical want. she isn't my typical anything. i hate how pretty she is and how wild her hair is and how she doesn't seem to care. i hate how right up until last friday i only noticed her enough to make fun of her for being a chubby little glass wearing poetry reading loser. and now. now i've been bitten by the bug of weird love. i hate how much she hates me. how stupid and jocky she thinks i am. i hate how much i just want her to notice me. more. when in the hell did this happen. why in the hell did this happen. i'm wrong. i know when it happened. it happened last friday when i was teasing her yet again and instead of ignoring me she actually insulted me back. and the dudes actually laughed at me. i never thought she was so mean. no sarcastic. so smart. damn her. and damn me for wanting her.