Andrea: i love your smile, i love your eyes, i love the way you laugh, i love they way you look at me, i love the way you brush your hair out of your face, i love the way you sling your arm over my waist like it belongs there and always has, i love how you (unknowingly) try to play footsy with me in your sleep lol, i love the way you dance, i love the way you lick my neck just to be defiant lol, i really don't mind that you hog the blankets, i'd hate myself if you hated me, i can't stand it when you're angry, i cry when you're sad, i smile everytime i see you even if i feel like shit, i'm sorry you don't like me smoking, i'm sorry you've been hurt, i never want to hurt you, i miss you right before i go to bed, i hate that you still talk to knowing he's going to mak eyou feel like shit Andrea: there's more, but i'll shutup now You know!: No no keep going! Andrea: lol why? You know!: Becasue I feel special... Andrea: you are special, you look beautiful when you first wakeup, i can't stand when you ignore me, i don't really like your friend amber (she seems really bitchy to me), i love that you don't hate me, i hate that i have trouble saying i love you (i do, i just have trouble saying it outloud all the time, it's a long story) Andrea: you're fucking awesome and i don't care what other people think, i love that you try to stay up all night just to spend more time with me (which you shouldn't do, it's not healthy) Andrea: i love you, i love how you miss me, i love how you make me smile, i love how you freak out when you drink monster (it's funny to watch lol), i like that my family likes you, i like that you ilke my family, i love your mom lol, your grandma is awesome, you sing like you don't care what you sound like, you talk out of randomness, you sing out of randomness, you're a child and an adult at the same time (like me), we can relate really well on almost everything, everyone that matters to me knows your name lol, i love that you're not ashamed to tell people you love me (), i love that you don't care what people think ~~~~ I love this girl!~~~~

YES!!! I dont have Lupus! I fucking rock.

I was just recently told that in the next few weeks I would be going tot he doctors to see if they can discover if I have the disease Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or also known as Lupus. Lupus is a condition of chronic inflammation caused by an autoimmune disease. Autoimmune diseases are illnesses which occur when the body's tissues are attacked by its own immune system.The immune system is a complex syste within the body that is designed to detect infectious agents, for example, bacteria, and other forign invaders. One of the mechanisms that the immune system uses to fight infections is the production of antibodies. Patients with lupus produce abnormal antibodies in their blood that target tissues within their own body rather than foreign infectious agents. Lupus can cause disease of the skin, heart, lungs, kidneys, joints, and nervous system. When only the skin is involved, the condition is called discoid lupus. When internal organs are involved, the condition is called systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE). Both discoid and systemic lupus are more common in women than men (about eight times more common). The disease can affect all ages but most commonly begins from age 20 to 45 years. It is more frequent in African-Americans and people of Chinese and Japanese descent.The precise reason for the abnormal autoimmunity that causes lupus is not known. Inherited genes, viruses, ultraviolet light, and drugs may all play some role. Genetic factors increase the tendency of developing autoimmune diseases, and autoimmune diseases such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis , and immune thyroid disorders are more common among relatives of patients with lupus than the general population. This is just a summary of what Lupus is. Nobody know what it is for sure, and there isn't a cure for it. I must receive regular health care, not only when the symptoms worsen. I might experience fatigue, pain, a rash, fever, abdominal discomfort, headache, or dissiness before a flare. (Not sure what a flare is. Mom said it is like an episode when all this starts.) I must, In order to sustain healthy, sustain from being out in UV light. It upsets the lupus and might cause a flare. I must learn to deal with stress, get exercise, dont smoke, limit alcohol, eat healty and balanced diet, and take care of vaccines. Thought you oughta know

Sick and Twisted You tell me to be happy. You tell me to deal. If you only knew my pain. Knew how I really feel. Torn and ripped. Sliced and broken. Take lifes tickets. All loves tokens. Dark and empty. Gently strolling. Pain is lifting. Pain is growing. Tickled deadly. White and pale. Watching you succeed. And watching you fail. Pick me evil. Pick me true. Turn me all white. Purple and blue. Dying within me. Sadly turning. Away slowly. In hell im burning. Help me. Take me away. Far far away. Alone to stay. Life is sick... And twisted. ---------------------------------------------- Uncertain Death The black plague of hate. Or lives abnormal fate. The soul you cant create. Or destroy. The love I knew, eroding. The heart I had, exploding. My spirit is corroding. Very... Slowly. To take away the pain. The drugs I must refrain. The razor I cant sustain. Bleeding. The life I had consumed. The pain will soon resume. Guided by the fume. Of uncertain death ---------------------------------------------- Hope you guys like.

The one thing that ive ever wanted from him I cant get. I just wanted this one chance to see my friend and what does he say...NO! MY DAD IS A COCK HEAD!!

Oh my god. My man... Jake. Is everything..This is our second time dating and I love him as much as I did the last time we dated. I dont care what hes done in the past he is mine now. I hope he stays that way forever! Jake. I want to marry this man. Yes, I know. It sounds foolish that a 13 year old wants to marry a 17 year old. I dont care what you think. I want him to be mine. I love this man. Like real...HE said it might be tru love for him.. I am the only person out of his previous girlfriends that he can actually stand to talk to. I know I screwed up. We both did. But we forgave eachother. Jake. I want to have my kids with this man. He is loveable person. Anyone you ask that knows him thinks hes a total dick.( except for some) Except for me. I dont think so. I think he is the sweetest, hottest, evil yet kind person I know. Jake. About that tru love thing..He said .."It might be true love...Naw." I hope it is... I LOVE JAKE!!!

HE SAID IT MIGHT BE TRUE LOVE!! Am I over reacting?

Shes comeing to see me! Yeah bitches you all are fucking jealous of me becasue I get to see her. HA! Be jelous... You know what is so dumb....My friend scroes more with my boyfriend than I do....And hes a guy...Damn him... Lol. I love Him. I do I do I do! Bye

I love you. Maybe if you knew how much tears I cry. How much blood I'd shed. How many hearts I'd stop. Maybe youd come back to me. Maybe you would understand, finally, how much I loathe every other person and how much I love you. You are my world. You are the air I breathe. You are the blood in my veins. You are the the heart I need to live. You took all I ever wanted away from me. I dont know what to live for. You tell me you love you. You tell me you hate me. What am I supposed to believe? I dont know what to do with all these feelings buring up inside of me. I want to let them out. If I do, will you say you hate me and not talk to me again? Will you say im right. What do I do? I love you unconditionally and all you do is hurt me. Besides that when you talk to everyone else about your feeling you tell them a butnch of things that I did. Not what youve done to me, to hurt me. To tear my heart to peices. Am I supposed to keep falling in love with you over and over again? When you say you hate me, make me feel unwelcome onto this planet. Do you know that you make me want to die? Do you know how bad I hurt over this? Do you know anything. Do you REALLY still love me or are you just telling me that because you know what I'd do if I knew the truth? Please, tell me what you feel about me. Dont lie to me anymore. Im sick of everything that comes out of your mouth. I cant tell whats the truth and whats bullshit! You need to learn that the world doesnt revolve around you and your wants. Your selfishness and drugs. I want everyone to know how bad of a person you are and how much I cared. Yes I know I broke up with you quite a few time, it was something I had to do. You beged for me back. I remember you used to tell me what you would do If I wasnt there for you. If I gave up. I didnt give up on you. Im still here. When you say all hope is lost, no more friends and you put the razor to your wrist, remember who was there for you. Remember who has helped you. Maybe it will make you rethink your position.I remember when we used to stay up hours into the night judt holding eachother. At 3 in the morning the naughty things we did. (hehe) You gental kiss when I was scared of the dark. Your your warm hand wipeing away my tears.

You know. I am really sick and tired of being asked my opinion and being bitched at for it. I dont know if I am in a great mood today no matter how many times Ive watched the Phantom of the Opera. (the best movie on this planet.) I dont really thing there is a point anymore. I dont want there to be a point. So I can just give up. Im not trying to say my life is bad becasue I know its not as bad as some, But I can only take so much. I dont know where im heading, I dont want to know. I just wanna leave. I want to go to the moon. Where no one can reach me. I want to go up there with alot of cd's, movies, and a bunch of junk food. To where money grows on trees, and black roses are grown from your couch. I dont know. My happy place I guess. I dont want to live on this planet anymore. I dont want to live period.. Im gonna go... I have things to do... Stuff to cut... Secrets to hide... People to kill... Love you....

This is to all of you guys here who deserve it. Love you all. Happy Valentines Day.

Well... I dont know what to do. What to write. What to say. Lifes good I guess. Asked that girl out. She said no, but she had a good reason. Thats good I guess. I have to help my other friend become "normal" again. Temper problems she has. I dont know. Im not in a good mood anymore. My moms a jerk. Says im a tramp. What ever, Im not a tramp. I dont phone sex. Heeh, well maybe I do. But hey. SHh, dont tell anyone. Jakes talking to me again. Listeing to Girl Anachrism by Dredsen Dolls. Good song. My throat hurts. Im not trying to rant. But, heyy. I like teddy bears. I want one for Valentines Day. I want a vinilla colered bear, holdin a read box that says "chalklets" In kid writing, holding Dandilions. That would be so cute. I have to go soon. No matter how bad I dont want to. Leaving for my moms Wednesday. I dont want to go. Have limited time on the computer and I cant use the cam. That doesnt bug me much...What bugs me is that I have to be there with 10 people (including my sister, brother and I.) And 5 of them ar younger than I am. AND!! And, my Grandmother. Dear God, my grandmother..shes overprotective, and anxious. I dont know how to describe her. Im leaving...Bye Love you... Do you wish to see me die tonight??

You cant touch the sexy!! I love her...Just...what do I get her for Valentines day??

ILOVEYou JESSA JADE Oh my god, Shes so freaking hot! She rox my sox!

Michelle.... The bitch. Makes me promise her stupid shit. I dont even know why I do it. I love her. And I get stabbed in the back. Thats bitch doesnt love me. She says she does. How can you break someones fucking heart and tell them you still love them. Tell me please...Because apperantly I cant fucking comprehend...Ive been spit on. Told that she hates me. Why do I still have feelings for the bitch. WHY?!! All Ive ever asked was to be in love. I never wanted anything else. THATS WHYS THERE NO GOD!! If there was a GOD hed give me love. No, I dont want that anymore. Now all I want is death. I want to die. Im just a peice of useless flesh that DOG [aka god] has put on this god for saking planet! Suicide is the answer? Noo no no. WHy is that. Thats just giving into the pain. There is no DOG, but there sure is hell a devil. I seen him. Hes all around us. Hes me. Hes Michelle. Hes you. Hes everywhere. Hes everyone. Hes everything. He makes me suffer. This pain. Dying. Slowly. All The pain Inside of me A side that no one sees Dying Slowly I cut I cry We live We die We love We hate Our lives Our fate The hate I feel My heart Wont heal Dying Slowly I cut I cry We live We die We love We hate Our lives Our fate My life Is dissapearing The pain Reapearing Dying Slowly I dont know how long I can hang onto this. I seem like a normal girl. People think that my life is just the greatest. THEY DONT SEE THE TEARS BEHIND THE CROOKED SMILE!!

This sucks... 2 girls I like... One I cant date.. The other doesnt want to date me... Lifes pointless... KILL ME NOW!

Oh my gahhd. This bitch Michelle maan. This cunt keeps talking... Ima end up kicking her muther fucking ass. I aint playing with her no more. shes a cunt... Kid names Daranta was jumped. Hes in the hospital. Broken ribs, nose, and wrist. Poor kid. Angelas dad was callinging her a mutherfucker..Shes only 8. Michelle asked me out. We broke up the next day. Now shes being a cunt. I like Pillzy...

ive wrote 2 fucking things and they havend showed up/

Guh, I am so adgitated...Look, my friend Michelle right..Well I used to live in Mt.Clemens, and when I did, she did too. When I moved to Eastpointe she was still loving there. Well she said to me "Alyssa, your gonna make a bunch of friends and when we want to hang out or talk to you, your gonna be to 'busy'.." Of course I said no, becasue it wasnt true. I hung out woth them every fucking weekend. Then Michelle moved to Ohio, I could only call her. Everytime I called her she wasn't there, she was busy, or we wernt talking because she had nothing to talk about. So I told her about the whole thing and she started talking to me alot more often. I was happy. Well now she lives in South Carolina. Shes changed soo much since she left me. (We used to date) I mean, she does weed, as a bigger additude with me for no reason and now...she KNOWS I still like her. She knows this. She likes me too, and what not..She asks me advise about other girls, which one I am true friends with..So things turn out good. Thats not the thing tho. Today I was talking to her on the phone and she got a beep and came on.."I have a call I need to take..." I asked who it was and she said Brittney. (which is her crush and what not) Yeah I guess you could say im jealous. People like her used to be the ones that shed hang up with to talk to me...Now im being pusehed into the dirt. It hurts me...A LOT. I want her back, even though shes cheated on me..Lied to me..Broke promises. Everything. Name it. Shes done it all. And yet I still find myself crying every night over her. I miss her uber bad. UBER UBER UBER bad. I havent seen her since September in '05. I know it doesnt seem like much, but for one you love, it feel like a life time. I feel like I am slowly dying inside. I feel like everyday another part of me is being chopped off and being spit on. It hurts so bad. I want help. I know I am only 13 but I have been through more than all of you know. Ive cut. Ive overdosed on pills. Im not a virgin. I wish I could take all of it back. I was so stupid. I want to go back. But I cant. I want some help. No I dont want some...I need some. I need some help before I start doing stupid things again. But this time just worse. I need that someone. Someone to talk to. Someone to count on. Someone to live for. Someone to tell me right from wrong. Someone to help me. Someone to make me laugh. Someone who will listen. Someone to love. I have so much pain. I want to die. I want to CARVE a suicide note into my body and hang myself. I want to play "doctor" by myself. Please. Someone take this away. Please. Someone take me away from here. Please. Please. Please. Just take me away. Just kill me now. PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!

This is me. My name is Alyssa Kristeen Nickole Galloway. I live in Eastpointe, Michigan. I am 13 and a half years old. My natural hair color is blonde, but as you can see its not blonde anymore. I am 5' 1". I am about 127 pounds. My favrorite color is Lime green. I love my frineds; Jade aka Pillzy, Michelle aka Shellz, Ashli aka ash, Ashley aka Ash, Amber aka Amberger, Shane, Alyssa aka Butch, and Tori aka Tor. "I've got some friends, some that I hardly know. But we've had some time I would trade for the wor-rld. We chase these days down with talks of places that we will go.." That is my ONE of the endless list of favroite quotes. I have a broher, John, and a sister, Amanda. I live with my dad and his girlfriend Nichole. She has 2 kids, Austin and Phillip. So there is seven of us living together. I go to visit my mom every other weekend. And everyone whos living there is my mom, my grandpa, my grandma, Dale (My moms bf),and his 3 kids. Garret, Alec, and Dylan. And when all of us come over its a total of 10 people. So it can get kind of crowded. My mom and dad divorced eachother when I was seven or eight so Im kind of used to it by now. It sometimes can get to me, but just every so often. I am a very funny, awkward, random person. I love cows. Cows are my favroite animals, and becasue of that I do NOT drink milk and sometimes on occasions Ill eat cow meat, but other than that I dont eat anything with cow in it. I hate my feet. I ALWAYS wear socks. Never will you see me without them on. Unless you are a very sepecial person. -winks- Anyways, I love to rant. Ranting is my favroite. I LLLOOOOOOVVVVEEE it dearly. Just like I love my cows and my chocolate. Yeah, I loooove chocolate to. I am a big Joneser for Jones soda. Espically Green Apple. Its like a childs liquor. Alot of sugar to get you hyper. If you havent already tried it, you should. They have so many different flavors. Green Apple, FuFu Berry, Chocolate, Lemon, Grape, Root Beer, Blue Bubble Gum, Bule Lemonade, Orange Cream, and Cream Soda are the only ones that I know of that ar offical flavors. Besides the Thanksgiving Dinner ones which inclide Gravy, Butterd corn, and some other ones. But yeah. I love Jones. But there is only one reason why....Bam Margera. A while back, I had written a letter to Bam and I didnt think I was going to get anything back...I was wrong. I ended up getting 2 autographed pictuers and a postcard (which was Bam holding a Green Apple Jones.) And I was so happy. I got it December 27, 2003. I was so happy I cryed. It was like a late Christmas presant. I was so happy. Well thats enought remenissing. I think thats about it..If I am missing anything Il be sure to put it down...