Wow... just when will it stop. I get through one incident with one woman (that he is still not telling me the truth about as I found she is still sending him pictures of herself that he has NOT shared with me again!) And then comes another. I am still the worlds most beautiful loser when it comes to men. This one is almost half his age and he has known her since before we met ( over 4 years ago) I happen to turn off his alarm this morning on his cell and found some IM's that someone has been sending him about "helping her " in some form. There was an invitation out to breakfast or lunch or dinner then apparently he has invited her over to the house today to "help" her while I was am work. She asked what time his GF gets home and that is all I could handle. My heart dropped to the floor. I am crushed to know he would bring someone into our house. Apparently he has been pursuing this person for quite some time. My life once again sucks. And I feel like I did when I was married. I just can't trust anyone. How can he portray such strong love for me with such boldness and then turn around and toy with others while I am asleep and at work? I have just had the life sucked out of me. And honestly I just don't care to go on. Please tell me something other than "kick his ass out".. Its not that easy...

through the symphony of crickets and these swaying trees in the wind that sound like whistling dolphins she reminds herself to let it go. Detached concern, take a step back and remove herself from her feelings as if she doesn't really care but the truth being that she does Its a cycle she cannot break but she is all too much a part of its not up to her as she can only keep spinning these are not sticks and stones no one can break her heart its a slow suicide if she decides to let it in release it and let it go release it and let it go.

Under a cloud she sits waiting for a drop of rain to release she sits still and waits as the cloud passes no rain only sun she runs for cover under another cloud hoping for a drop of rain to release but there is no rain. She finds comfort underneath the cool grey cloud and pulls a butterfly wing from a fountain and continues waiting for a release of rain.

She takes a look at her life and sees nothing but words trapped in time. Images of herself stuck in the mirror like photographs she despises herself for the moment and sleep has abandoned her. What is in her head is something she created and cannot blame anyone else for. ' Now the question is how to escape? She hopes sleep finds her again.